Collide (Collide, #1)(37)

Gavin Blake…Dillon’s friend—someone he had known and become close with. If Dillon found out—despite his wrongdoings to her—he would surely lose it. Suddenly, Emily was off balance, uncertain of what she was doing. The shimmering images of Dillon and their life together invaded her mind. This was bad, and she knew it. Two wrongs never computed to a right in her head—ever. A wave of guilt mixed with anger at Dillon and herself washed over her. Although her body fought against it—and fought against it hard—she had to stop.

“We…I can’t…Gavin,” she finally breathed, barely forcing the words past her lips.

Pulling back, his blue eyes dark and wavered with lust, Gavin searched her face. Her lips were swollen from their kiss, and her breathing was as ragged as his. Tears were filling her eyes, yet he saw passion there as well. His heart broke a thousand times over from the look on her face. He didn’t want to hurt her. He nodded slowly as his fingertips slid over her flushed cheeks before his hands dropped to his sides, taking her warmth with them.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, not meeting his eyes.

“No, Emily, I—”

“Please, Gavin, just leave. I need you to leave,” she sniffed, still unable to look at his face.

The air prickled uneasily between them for a long moment. Gavin desperately tried to get his tongue unglued from the roof of his mouth and tried to say something—anything—that would fix the situation, but he couldn’t. The words—the right words—didn’t exist in his mind.

And this he knew.

Running a nervous hand through his hair, he turned away, reached for the door, and reluctantly made his way out.

Emily trembled as she hunched over in an attempt to catch her breath. She closed her eyes, desperately trying to block out the guilt, push it away, and purge it out of her system. Her complexion was drained of all color; her eyes were bloodshot and puffy from crying. Her stomach was curled around itself in disgust—not only from what she had just done, but also from the feeling that somewhere in the back of her mind…she knew it had felt right. God, it had felt so right kissing him, touching him, and letting him touch her. She buried her face in her hands and cried as the fresh waves of guilt crashed through every limb in her body.

Feeling mentally drained by it all, she walked over and collapsed herself onto the couch, trying to regain her composure as she wiped the tears from her face. A part of her felt like it was dying as vivid pictures of Dillon kissing Monica skirted through her head. Staring at the ceiling, Emily wondered if somehow she had deluded herself into thinking Dillon wasn’t cheating on her. Her instincts sent sparks throughout her mind from the past several weeks, but her gut wretched against listening to the warning sirens going off.

A sharp knock at the door roused her from the nightmare she had hoped she was awakening from. Before she could answer, the door swung open. Dillon was standing in the hall with her bags. Swallowing down the rising bile in her throat, she could feel the pulse in her stomach when she shot up from the couch. Closing the door behind him, his eyes met and locked with hers from across the room.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, her eyes glaring at him. “I want you to leave.”

“You have to let me explain.”

“Let you explain? You kissed her!” she scoffed, her eyes bulging.

“She kissed me,” he corrected.

“Bullshit! I want you out,” she yelled and pointed toward the door.

“You’re going to let me explain.” He walked across the room, bridging the distance between them.

“You kissed her,” she cried, stabbing her finger into his chest. “I saw it with my own eyes!”

He grabbed her by the wrist and moved closer. “What you saw was her leaning in to kiss me. You didn’t see me push her away, Emily,” he breathed out, his voice low and steady.

“And I’m supposed to believe that?” she nearly screamed. “You lied to me about her being Gavin’s girlfriend!”

She made a beeline toward the kitchen, but he grabbed her by the shoulders. “I didn’t tell you about her that night because I didn’t want you feeling uncomfortable while she was there.”

She immediately jerked back and openly gaped at him.

“I’m not kidding, Emily. I didn’t want you to know she was someone I used to date. I knew if you found out that night, you’d want to leave. I figured it was no big deal,” he said, stepping closer.

She moved back, almost stumbling.

“Baby, I’m not lying,” he continued. “She’s f*cking obsessed with me. You think I would do that with her out in the open, knowing you were there?”

Emily glared at him, her mouth wide open.

He raked his hands through his hair. “I didn’t mean it like that. I was coming out of the bathroom, and she asked if she could talk to me for a minute. I agreed, and before I knew it, she pulled me into her and kissed me. That’s what you saw, babe. I swear to f*cking God I pushed her away. You must’ve turned around before I did.”

Shaking her head, Emily’s hand rushed to her mouth as she began to cry. Hurt ricocheted through her heart—the pain literally slamming through her body. Could she have made an assumption too soon from the few seconds of their kiss that she saw? She had never felt so confused.

“I even warned her when she got to the party to stay away from me and you,” he whispered, cautiously stepping closer and bringing his hand up to caress her cheek.