Collide (Collide, #1)(124)

With her heart ricocheting in her chest, she nervously swallowed, her throat feeling as though sandpaper coated the lining. She shook her head.

“You’ll force me to hurt you both,” he hissed, his hands fumbling to unbutton her blouse.

Standing completely still, without speaking, her instincts warned her to flee, but she couldn’t. In the darkness of the room, the unshed tears she was trying to hide fell and tumbled down her cheeks. However, they fell silently as Dillon stripped her down to nothing—physically… mentally… and emotionally.

Pushing her onto the bed, he hovered over her naked body. His face was peppered with anger, lust, and possession. Spreading her legs open, he sank himself inside her, and it was then that the blackness of what Dillon had become enveloped her like a cold shadow. She knew in that very moment she was grasping onto something that would never be again. She could never love him the way she once did, and she could never love him the way she now loved Gavin. When her body had no more to give, she succumbed to the numbness that set in. Closing her eyes, she tried to shut herself down as he rocked into her harder, interminable pain pulsing through her head. She envisioned Gavin’s blue eyes above her instead of the dark vengeful ones staring back at her. Inhaling, she tried to picture that it was Gavin’s hands groping her breasts, Gavin’s sweat dripping onto her body, and Gavin’s lips kissing her mouth.

Gavin…

Dillon grunted and collapsed all of his weight on top of her when he finished. Within a few minutes, he was fast asleep. Hours. Emily lay there for hours, her mind replaying Gavin’s words over and over. Feeling as though she had cheated on her own heart—the very heart that belonged in Gavin’s hands—Emily slowly slid from the bed, her breathing shallow as her feet hit the ice-cold floors.

There would be no lace veils or vows taken tomorrow. No. There wouldn’t be promises made or lies spoken. Gavin was correct. Her lips held lies, and those false truths had potentially ruined his and her future together. She loved him, and now she would go to him. She could only hope that he would forgive her for doubting him and his love for her. As quietly as possible, Emily gathered her clothing and got dressed. She also gathered the nerve she so desperately needed to finally leave Dillon. Turning, she stood in the threshold of his bedroom, watching his sleeping form.

As tears sprung in her eyes, she could feel her heart breaking and mending all at once. “Goodbye, Dillon,” she whispered.

Almost tripping over her bare feet, Emily moved quickly into the living room and grabbed her shoes, coat, and purse. Trying to avoid making any noise, she slipped on her coat but kept her shoes in her hand as she tiptoed her way toward the front door. She reached for the knob, sucked in a deep breath, and slowly pulled it open. Though the door creaked, the sound echoing throughout the townhouse, her fear of waking Dillon was dwarfed by her incapacitating fear of losing Gavin forever.

The latter propelled her out into the cold winter air.

Tick-tock…





Pulse Coming Summer 2013





Acknowledgments

Writing is and always has been an outlet for me. When I sat down and first started writing Collide, I had no idea the road I was about to travel. I figured it would be easy enough to get my fingers to tap out some words, flesh out some characters, and build a relatively good storyline. What I found instead was a painfully magnificent, torturous, beautiful, and emotional ride—all wrapped into one imperfect but perfect package. The mental attachment I endured having to essentially “become” my characters was neither something I was prepared for nor something that I will ever forget.

With that, I need to give my deepest thanks to my husband and my children for putting up with my many mood swings, many nights without a hot meal, and many days when mom or wife ceased to exist.

Joe, without your patience and support, none of this would have been possible. I swear that sandwich and Mustang will be yours one day. I love you, Big Daddy. Always.

Second to my husband and children is my sister-in-law, Cary. Oh, Cary, where do I begin? Your powerful insight and extreme positivity during the whole process surely saved a bit of my sanity—but definitely made you lose some of yours. The countless hours and many nights you spent on the phone listening to me yell, scream, and cry my way through Collide…let me just say…words I don’t have enough. Thank you for coming on this ride with me. Get your seatbelt ready to do it all over again with Pulse.

As for the rest of you, please take a bow as I call your names.

Lisa Kates is my friend and one that I wish still lived nearby. I thank you for all the phone conversations as we daydreamed and talked about every chapter as I wrote it. Your honesty, although sometimes brutal, helped to shape Gavin into what he has become. Love and miss you, chick.

Gina, although many readers don’t like the character that shares your name in this book, I will always love you, Chach!

Brooke Hunter, Lisa Maurer, Stephanie Johnson, and Teri Bland—my BCBWs—what can I say? Wow, you gals have made me laugh, cry, and really believe that there are readers out there who truly 100% unconditionally love me and Collide. Each of you knew my fear going into this and talked me out of wanting to burn the manuscript. You saw me peak and dip and stayed with me during it all. You were there with pom-poms. No. Strings. Attached. I will forever love each of you for the support. I am amazed at the way our little reading and writing worlds have collided. Kismet. Here’s to S.A. and Cali, babes!!!