Collide (Collide, #1)(113)

“Damn, Gavin.”

“Damn nothing. Look in my contacts list. There’s no shortage of ass that’s eagerly available to me. It’s plentiful. I make a phone call, and I can f*ck for days if I wanted to. Gina came here that night drunk, telling me her father died. Yes, maybe I shouldn’t have let her in. Yes, maybe I should’ve thrown her out onto the street like the animal she turned me into.” Letting out a defeated sigh, he sat back down on the couch with his elbows on his knees as he gripped his hair. “But I didn’t,” he whispered. “I didn’t, and now Emily’s gone. The girl I love doesn’t believe me because I was stupid enough to let the girl I used to love into my house. She fell asleep on my couch with her pants off. I didn’t even want to touch her to get her out of here that night because she wasn’t dressed. I didn’t want my hands touching her because my hands had just touched Emily.”

He lifted his head and looked directly at Olivia where she sat unmoving. “I love Emily. Fuck, I love her enough that I would do it over again—pain and all—just to hold her again. But I didn’t do anything wrong other than let Gina in. So, no, Olivia, it has nothing to do with me being powerful or throwing in a towel. It has everything to do with the fact that Emily doesn’t believe me, and most of all…she doesn’t love me.”

After a few seconds of noticeably trying to take in everything he had said, Olivia stood up and sat herself next to him. She placed her hand on his shoulder. “She does love you, Gavin. She—”

“Come on, Liv,” he interrupted, reaching for his beer. He finished it in one gulp. “She told me she didn’t. Do you need me to quote her words? They’re as fresh as f*ck in my mind. Buzzed or not, it shouldn’t be a problem.”

“I know what she told you.” She took the empty bottle from his hand and placed it on the table. “But I also know what she told me after you came to her that night.” He went to speak, but she silenced him with a classic Olivia smash of her fingers against his lips. “You’re correct that she doesn’t believe you right now. But you’re incorrect that she doesn’t love you. She said those things to you to try to hurt you the way she felt you hurt her. She’s been a mess, Gavin,” she whispered, her eyes soft. “Her nerves are shot. She’s been depressed, quiet, and throwing up over the whole situation. Even though she thinks she’ll be able to rid you from her mind and fall back in love with Dillon, anytime Dillon’s not with her, she’s crying…over you.”

“You say she loves me, she’s crying over me, and yet she’s marrying him?” he asked, completely unconvinced of anything she had just said.

“I know what you’re thinking, but—”

“Oh, do you? Because I’m not even sure I know what the f*ck I’m thinking right now,” he said, rising to his feet. Beer wasn’t doing its job at this point. Stronger. He needed something stronger. Stalking into the kitchen, he swung the cabinet door open, pulling out a bottle of bourbon and a shot glass.

Olivia stood up, crossing her arms. “Are you going to let me finish what I was saying, dick?”

“I’m a cheater and a dick now? Sure, why the f*ck not?” he replied, his tone thick with sarcasm. He promptly filled the shot glass. After tossing it back, he smacked his lips together and looked at her. “What kind of shit are you handing me, Olivia? None of it makes any sense. Not one f*cking iota of it does.”

Moving to the kitchen, Olivia flipped her golden hair to the side and looked at Gavin as if he had ten heads. “What part don’t you understand, Blake?”

Now he returned the same look, but she continued.

“Dillon was a safe bet when she moved out here with him. She stumbled upon you, and as much as she tried to fight it, the girl never stood a chance against you, Gavin. Forget about the way you two met.” Pausing, a light laugh escaped her lips. “You had her from the moment she saw you. Believe me, I had to hear all about Mr. Tall, Dark, and Fuckable Handsome.”

Gavin couldn’t help it, but he drew up a curious brow at that statement.

“After everything she went through with Dillon, you then became her safe bet. But now, that’s been ripped from her. Unfortunately, you have her thinking Dillon is indeed the safer bet.”

“Stop saying safer bet,” he grunted as he poured another shot, still intrigued by the nickname he never knew about.

Olivia let out a sigh and rolled her eyes.

“So let me get this straight,” he leaned against the counter, a lopsided smirk on his face. “She’s taking the consolation prize that happens to be the prick that really cheated on her?” He then paused and let out a chuckle. Though his pain remained, the effect of the alcohol was quickly catching up to him. “Wait. Apparently, I’m the prick that cheated on her.”

“Consolation prize?” she asked, her brows furrowed. “Is this a game to you, Gavin? She’s hurting right now.”

“Fuck no, it’s not a game. It’s my f*cking life, and it’s what should’ve been mine and Emily’s life together.” He chucked another shot down his throat, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and slammed the glass on the counter. “I’m hurting, too, but let me guess, you still think I f*cked around behind her back. Go ahead. Tell me you don’t believe me either.”