Claim Me (Stark Trilogy, #2)(4)

He does not meet my eyes.

I force myself to stand still for Blaine, fighting a sudden wave of fear. This is not a business call; Damien Stark does not get upset over business. On the contrary, he thrives on the chase, on the conquest.

No, this is something else, and I can’t help but think about the threats that have been made against him, and the secrets that I know he still keeps. Damien has seen me stripped bare in every way possible. And yet it seems as though I’ve only seen glimpses of him, and those cast in shadows.

Get a grip, Nikki. Wanting privacy for a phone conversation isn’t the same as keeping a secret. And every phone call isn’t some grand conspiracy to hide either his past or some new danger.

I know all of that. Even more, I believe it. But sane rationality doesn’t soothe the little pang in my heart or the knot of fear that sits tight in my belly, and standing stock-still and naked and bound is not a straight path to well-adjusted thoughts. Rather, it’s a twisting, winding road of angst, and I’m suddenly careening down it without brakes, and hating myself for going there.

I want to hug myself, but my bound wrists make that impossible.

The truth is that I’ve been on pins and needles since my former boss made his threats against Damien. Carl’s company had pitched a project to Stark Applied Technology, and when Damien declined, Carl blamed me. He fired me, too, but he didn’t stop there, and the last time I saw him he promised to f*ck Damien over. So far, nothing has happened. But Carl is determined and resourceful, and in his mind, he has the moral high ground. As far as he’s concerned, Damien squelched one of Carl’s most important business deals. The projected loss of capital must be in the millions, and Carl isn’t the kind of man who would consider either the money or the slight to be water under the bridge.

That fact that nothing has happened in over a week bothers me. What could his silence mean? I’ve thought about it and thought about it, and the only conclusion I can reach is that something has happened—and Damien has chosen not to tell me.

I might be wrong—I hope I am. But worry and fear twist inside me, cruelly whispering that although Damien has shone a light onto all my secrets, his are still shrouded in gray.

“Well, hell, Nikki. Now you’re frowning.” Blaine’s gripe is laced with a chuckle. “Sometimes I wish I could crawl into that mind of yours. I’d love to know what you’re thinking.”

I manage a smile. “Deep thoughts,” I say. “But not bad ones.”

“Good,” he says, but there’s a question mark in his eyes, and maybe even a hint of concern. I wonder what Evelyn, Blaine’s lover who’s known Damien since childhood, has told him about Damien’s past. For that matter, I wonder if Blaine knows more than I do about the man who has consumed me so completely. The thought only makes me frown more.

Damien is gone only a few minutes, and when he returns I am overwhelmed by the urge to run to him. “What’s the matter?” I ask.

“Nothing that looking at you won’t make better.”

I laugh, hoping he doesn’t notice that the sound is hollow. Once again, he is wearing the face he shows the public. But I am not the public, and I know better. I look hard at him, waiting for his eyes to meet mine. When they do, it is like a switch has been thrown. The hard lines of his mouth curve into a genuine smile, and once again I am alight with the glow of Damien.

He walks toward me, and my pulse increases with the tempo of his steps. He stops only inches from me, and I am suddenly finding it very difficult to breathe. After everything we’ve done together—after every hurt he’s soothed and every secret he’s seen—how is it that every moment with Damien can feel like the first one?

“Do you have any idea how much you mean to me?”

“I—” I draw in a breath and try again. “Yes,” I say. “As much as you mean to me.”

I am trapped in the heat of his gaze and his proximity. He’s not touching me, but he might as well be. There is nothing about me at that moment that isn’t a reflection of Damien, of how I feel about him and what he’s doing to me. I want to soothe him, want to stroke his cheek and run my fingers through his hair. I want to pull his head to my breast and whisper soft words, and I want to make love to him slowly and sweetly until the shadows of the night are gone and the morning light bathes us in color.

From his post at the canvas, Blaine coughs politely. Damien’s lips curve up in a grin that matches my own. We’ve done nothing more than look into each other’s eyes, and yet it feels as though Blaine has witnessed something deeply intimate.

“Yeah, right. So, I’m going to head on out. The cocktail party’s not until seven on Saturday, right? So I’ll come by that afternoon and see if she needs any last minute touch-ups. And I’ll take care of hanging her when I set up the rest of the canvases on easels.”

“Perfect,” Damien says, not looking at him.

“I gotta say,” Blaine adds, as he gathers his things, “I’m going to miss this.”

For just an instant, I think I see something melancholy in Damien’s eyes, but it passes almost immediately. “Yes,” he says. “So am I.”

I’m not sure when Blaine leaves, I only know that he’s gone, and Damien is still there, and he’s still not touching me, and that I’m going to go a little crazy if I don’t feel his hands upon me soon.