Claim Me (Stark Trilogy, #2)(109)
I am silent. I can’t argue, because what he says is true. I can only say simply, “But I didn’t go there.”
“It will get worse. It already has.”
I don’t know what he’s talking about.
“The press, Nikki. They’re not focusing on me. Damien Stark indicted for murder. You’d think that would be interesting, right? Apparently not as interesting as his girlfriend. Who, according to those *s, isn’t really his girlfriend at all. Just an opportunistic little whore who’ll sleep with anyone who can help her get ahead, murderers included.”
My stomach twists violently, and I’m grateful I only had coffee this morning. “I don’t care,” I lie. “I can deal.”
“You shouldn’t have to.”
“Dammit, Damien, I’m not a mom-and-pop food company. Pulling out isn’t going to save me. You’re going to destroy me. I need you. You. Don’t you get that?”
“I can’t bear to see you broken. Not when I’m the one who is breaking you.”
“You are breaking me!” I shout. “If you walk away from me, you’re going to snap me in two.”
“No,” he says simply.
I only realize I am crying when I taste the salt of my tears. “I thought you said I was strong. Or was that just bullshit?”
“You are,” he says, his voice maddeningly calm. “Strong enough to stay despite me dragging you into hell. I’m the one who’s weak, Nikki, because I kept you in the spotlight for too damn long. I couldn’t leave you, and that hurt you. But I’m fixing it now.”
He zips up the suitcase and hefts it off the bed. For a moment, he stands there, just looking at me. I am scrambling for words, trying to figure out the magic formula to make him take it all back—but this is not a fairy tale and I am learning the hard way that there is no happily ever after. Then he walks to the door.
He is leaving me. Damien Stark. The man I trusted above all others to never hurt me. He is walking away from me, and he’s ripping my heart out as he goes.
Cold fury whips through me, laced with desolation. Tears trail down my cheeks as I bend and unfasten the emerald ankle bracelet. I take a breath and hurl it at him. “Damn you, Damien Stark,” I whisper. “Damn you for giving up on us.”
He pauses and I see the pain on his face. He glances down at where the bracelet has landed on his feet. He starts to reach for it, then stops. I watch his face, expecting words of comfort. But they don’t come. Instead, I hear only the two words I wish were silenced: “Goodbye, Nikki.”
And then he is gone.
I am not sure how I manage the drive to Malibu, but I do. And when I pull into Evelyn’s drive, I can barely see, what with the tears swimming in my eyes.
“Good God, Texas,” she says as she pulls open the door. “What happened to you?”
“He left me,” I say, choking the words out between sobs. “He thinks he’s protecting me, and so he dumped me.”
She sucks in air. “Damn fool of a boy,” she says. “I don’t care what everyone says about him being a goddamned genius, he f*cked this one up, Texas. He damn sure did.”
Her words only make me cry harder.
“Aw, hell, girl, get inside.”
“Is Blaine here?”
“He’s in the studio,” she says, referring to a separate building on the property. “It’s okay. Cry all you want.”
“I don’t want to cry,” I say. “I want him back. But he’s so damned convinced he’s doing the right thing.”
“What the hell does he think he’s protecting you from?” she asks as she leads me to the kitchen and sits me down at the table.
“The paparazzi.”
“Phhht,” she says. “Fuck ’em.”
“I wish they were that easy to blow off.” I eye her critically. “Blaine didn’t tell you?”
“Tell me what?”
I don’t want to go into this, but I need help. And she needs to understand why Damien left. Why he thinks that he has to leave.
“I have scars,” I finally say.
She nods slowly. “There’s one on the painting. On your hip. Looks to be some on your thighs, too, but the shadows make it hard to tell. So what happened to you, Texas?”
I swallow. “I happened to me.”
The words hang there, and I wait for my tears, but they do not come. I don’t know if it’s me or if it’s Evelyn, but it’s easier to talk about now. No, that’s not true. I do know. It’s me. Damien has helped me change the way I look at my flaws.
I grimace. Goddamn him for leaving me.
“You’re saying that Damien thinks you’re going to start up with the cutting again?”
I could kiss her for being so focused, so direct. “Yes,” I say. “I haven’t—not since I’ve been in LA. But I’ve come close.”
“The paparazzi?” She puts a glass of water in front of me, and I sip from it gratefully.
“And all this craziness about the painting. It—well, it got to me.”
“Hell, that kind of crap would get to anyone.”
“Now the press is saying all sorts of shit about me sleeping with a murderer, and Damien thinks—”