Cilka's Journey(64)
Blindly, Cilka allows herself to be grabbed by the arm by a guard and half dragged back to her block.
* * *
“You can take a break,” Raisa tells Cilka the next day. “Put your feet up and have something to eat; there’s plenty left over, many are too sick to eat today.”
“Will it be okay if I go out for a short while, just to the nursery? I want to see baby Natia and leave a message for Josie.”
Raisa considers. “Don’t be too long.”
* * *
Cilka has timed her visit deliberately to avoid the trusties. When she arrives, she stands near the door, watching Natia dragging herself along the floor, getting up onto all fours and attempting to crawl before collapsing as if a large hand has pushed her down. Cilka waves to the staff, pointing to Natia. They nod their approval for her to visit.
Sitting on the floor a few feet away, she encourages the baby to come to her. With a mighty effort the little girl balances on her hands and knees and slowly moves first one hand, then the opposing leg. She squeals with delight at her accomplishment. Cilka encourages her further. Another hand moves forward, she wobbles, a leg moves forward, one—two—three giant shuffles for a little girl who is then swept up into Cilka’s arms, hugged so tightly she squeals and wriggles to be released.
“Well, there will be no stopping her now. Look what you’ve done, given us another one to chase after,” says the nurse, whom Cilka has learned is called Bella Armenova.
Cilka is not sure if Bella is seriously annoyed or making fun of her. She starts to apologize.
“It was going to happen sooner or later. I’m just glad someone who knows her was here to see her crawl for the first time.”
“It was very special, wasn’t it?”
“We won’t tell Josie what she did today, and I guarantee when she drops this one off tomorrow she will tell us how she crawled for the first time last night.”
“That’s a really nice thing to do,” Cilka says. “I was wondering if you could pass on a message to Josie for me?”
“If I see her, yes, certainly.”
“Tell her her friends would love to see her and meet this little one, and if possible, can they come out this Sunday after lights out?”
“Hardly matters that they turn the lights out this time of year, but I know what you mean. Where do you want to meet?”
Cilka doesn’t want Josie to have to stray too far from comfort and safety. As a pack, with Cilka hidden in the middle, the women from the hut should be okay.
“We will wait between the maternity ward and the nursery.”
* * *
Anastasia stands back as the women she shares living quarters with cry, hug, push to get their hands on both Josie and the small infant clinging to her. It is too much for Natia, who lets the world know she is scared of so much attention from strangers. Josie turns her back on the women and gently rocks Natia, soothing and comforting her.
“One or two at a time might be best,” she says, turning back to them with a smile. “She doesn’t know you, but I want her to. I want her to know the people responsible for her being here, being alive.”
Elena pushes her way forward. “Me first, can I have a hold?”
Josie softly touches Elena on the face, making sure Natia is watching. Slowly she hands her daughter over. Elena holds her at arm’s length, not sure what to do with her. As she feels Natia relax, her little face never leaving her mother’s, Elena brings the baby to her chest. They work out that as long as Natia can see her mother she will happily be held and cuddled by them all.
Cilka stays at the back, enjoying the rare, sweet scene playing out in front of her. She cannot remember the last time they were all smiling gap-toothed smiles, laughing and crying together. She marvels at the power of something so small to make a difference. But in a place like this, any tiny moment that shifts them away from the relentless, grueling horror, from the reminder of the long years still ahead, is to be treasured. It’s a shame, really, that Hannah has not joined them, too. Preferring to lie passed out on her bed.
When Cilka has determined that everyone has had a chance to hold Natia, except the reluctant Anastasia, she pushes her way forward. Natia sees her and immediately throws her arms at her, desperate to be with Cilka. The others grumble and complain good-naturedly. Cilka walks over to Anastasia. In Cilka’s arms, Natia doesn’t complain that she can no longer see her mother.
Cilka introduces Natia to Anastasia. The little girl looks at Anastasia in puzzlement, as Anastasia makes no effort to touch her. Natia reaches out and tugs at strands of Anastasia’s growing hair that have sprung free from her scarf. They both giggle. Anastasia refuses the offer to hold her; she is quite happy just to look at her.
The others join them as Josie tells them they have now spoiled Natia and she probably won’t sleep tonight. Reluctantly, Natia is given back to her mother and they say goodbye, promising to come back in seven days’ time. Same place.
The women slowly drift back to their hut, chattering away about the evening, the embroiderers debating among themselves about the next size of gown they will need to make now they have met Natia. They all agree she is the most beautiful baby they have ever laid eyes on. Natia has been like a sun breaking through dark clouds. No one mentions the uncertain future that both Natia and Josie have, or the cruel surroundings Natia was born into. That’s a conversation no one wants to start.