Christmas Shopaholic(52)

“No,” says Suze. “But he mentions plenty of other things. Read on.”

Puffing out in exasperation, I look at the text again, my eyes landing on one highlighted phrase after another.

“…don’t believe in monogamy,” says Curton…regular member of the sex-party scene in Moscow…met his current girlfriend at a notorious club…“experimental sex is the only way”…“Since when was one-on-one enough? Never,” he laughs….

I lift my head and meet Suze’s gaze, my mind spinning a bit.

“OK, so he leads a wild life,” I say, trying to sound nonchalant. “What are you saying?”

“Maybe he wants a wild life with you and Luke.” Suze waggles her eyebrows meaningfully at me. “With you and Luke, Bex.”

“What—” I break off as I realize what she’s driving at. “No! Suze, you’re mad! Where on earth did you get that idea?”

“Let’s look at the facts.” Suze starts striding around as if she’s a barrister making a case in the Old Bailey. “You’re sitting there last night, wondering what Craig’s girlfriend and he have in common. I’ve seen Craig flirting with you, and he’s pretty hot. Now they’re both all over Luke. The truth is…” She pauses for effect. “They’re after both of you.”

“No, they’re not,” I scoff, but Suze ignores me.

“I put it to you that the missing factor linking Craig and his girlfriend is nothing more than sex. Multiplayer sex,” she adds with a flourish.

“Multiplayer sex?” I echo incredulously. “Is that what it’s called?”

“Dunno,” admits Suze. “But you know what I mean. I bet they met in a club and that’s what they’re into. And now they want to do it with you and Luke. Swinging. Multiplayer. Whatever it is.”

“Rubbish,” I say vehemently.

“What else is the hot tub for?” she retorts, as though slapping down a trump card.

“The hot tub?” I stare at her.

“Yes! The hot tub! It’s a sex-party tub! I don’t know what Tarkie’s going to say,” she adds fretfully, transforming into landlady mode. “It’s visible from the road. We’ll have complaints!”

Her face is so outraged, I can’t help giggling.

“OK, Suze,” I say in soothing tones. “Well, if Craig invites us to a sex party, I’ll let you know, and you can call the police.”

“You think it’s funny?” says Suze. “You wait till you go round there and Craig says, ‘Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable,’ and Nadine appears and she’s already in a sexy dressing gown and she goes, ‘Wow, Becky, you look so hot,’ and she starts slipping it off your shoulders, and…Anyway.” Suze stops dead, as though that’s as far as she can get with this particular fantasy.

“You’re sick!” I clutch my stomach. “Stop it!”

“I’m prescient,” says Suze, unabashed. “I’ve seen the sexual tension between you and Craig. They’re going to ask you and Luke round to the hot tub for multiplayer sex.”

“Actually, he already has done,” I admit. “I mean the hot tub, not the multiplayer sex,” I hastily clarify—but Suze jabs a triumphant finger at me as though this proves everything.

“You see?”

“No, I don’t see! Suze, people have hot tubs! They’re not all having multiplayer sex!” I catch Suze’s eye and she bites her lip, as though she can suddenly see the funny side.

“Well, anyway,” she says. “You’ve been warned.”

“Thank you,” I say with elaborate courtesy. “And I appreciate your concern. See you tomorrow.”

“Be in denial, Bex,” says Suze, as we both head out the door. “But I’m right.”



* * *



—

As I’m walking down the Letherby Hall drive, I give a giggle as I rewind our conversation. Honestly. Multiplayer sex. Suze is mad!

Although—

No. Stop it.

But now I can’t help it—I’m remembering Craig last night, inviting us round. The way he came up so close to me. The way he said softly, “We’ll enjoy the hot tub and…whatever, yeah? Just the four of us, nice and private.”

The way he put a hand on my arm. The way he looked at me, kind of intent.

I mean…he wasn’t…?

That wasn’t?

No, Becky. Of course it wasn’t. Don’t be ridiculous.





From: Myriad Miracle To: Becky Brandon Subject: Query!




Hi, Mrs. Brandon (née Bloomwood): We hope you’re enjoying the Myriad Miracle Training System?!

Our team have noticed your exercise activity so far is rated at “Negligible.”

Are you having trouble with operating our interactive system?

Please contact our friendly Customer Services Team, who will help you with your settings, so that all your exercise activity is correctly logged.

Debs

(membership assistant)





But the idea won’t go away. At 9:30 A.M. on Thursday I’ve dropped Minnie at school and I’m sitting at the kitchen table, cutting out fabric for her Nativity-play costume, but my mind’s not on it. I’m half-thinking, Concentrate, and half thinking, Oh my God, I’ve never even been in a foursome.