Charming as Puck(86)
Knew I liked him for some reason.
“What in the hell are you doing now?” Coach asks from the doorway.
There’s two massive piles of glitter and dick confetti all over the Thrusters logo in the carpet, plus trails of it everywhere. None of us are dressed. And everyone’s looking at me.
“Team building exercise,” I say.
“Fuck, yeah,” Zeus agrees.
He plops his three-hundred-fifty-pound ass right on top of the white box on the bench in front of his locker, and my voice—though higher and a little distorted—comes from the general area of Zeus’s asshole.
“That’ll teach you to fuck with me, jackass! You’ve got a face only a mother could love! Did your wife have to tie your skates for you this morning?”
It’s possible I’m the real asshole here.
Zeus snorts with laughter and rubs his ass harder over the box with the one remaining Nick Murphy doll while it squeaks out slower and more vulgar insults as he destroys the one-of-a-kind voice box inside, which is nothing like the You’re a winner! messages that went to the 298 other dolls at the children’s hospital. “Nice try, Murphy. I’m still gonna keep your ass outta trouble on the ice tonight, because I got a lot of respect for second-rate pranksters.”
“You can’t beat us,” Ares tells me.
“Years of experience,” Zeus agrees. “Ask my sister sometime.”
“Scarred for life,” Ares chimes in.
“And she married the fucker who instigated most of it. He’s got a billion-trillion bucks now, and me and Ares, we know when to bow to a master.”
Ares nods in agreement. “When to ask him for favors too.”
Coach rubs his eyes. “I’m coming back in two minutes, and you all damn well better be ready to win a fucking game tonight.”
“You can brag on your family later,” Lavoie tells them. “Get dressed.”
He looks at me, and his lips twitch.
“There’s one more in his car,” I mutter.
“Kami know you’re this kind of an asshole?” he asks.
I grin. “She’s got an idea. Hey, Berger. Smile for me, sexy thang.”
Zeus strikes a pose. Ares turns on the flashlight on his phone and shines it on Zeus making the glitter dicks shine and sparkle. I snap a pic and text it to Kami.
Somebody won’t be interrupting private phone time anymore, I tell her.
She replies with a gif of a woman falling over laughing, and I send her a gif of a kissy-face.
She replies with a gif that’s probably illegal and makes me break out in a sweat, because it’ll be at least three hours, probably four, before I get to actually see her.
Coach strolls back in. “You all got your heads in the game?” he asks.
We all nod, serious as we can be.
And when we take the ice, I’m ready.
No question. No hesitation.
Except that minute I pause to wink at Kami’s mom and toss her a puck.
Because if Kami has to sit through the whole game entertaining both our mothers, the least I can do is charm hers from the ice.
And they said charm school wouldn’t work on me.
Those fuckers were wrong.
Forty-Five
Kami
Because my body apparently thinks that being nice and sweet and everyone’s favorite boring girl next door means that we can’t have the scandal of an unexpected out-of-wedlock pregnancy, even in modern times, I get my period two days later.
I text Nick to let him know there are no lasting repercussions, and he doesn’t answer.
But I get a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates with demotivational sayings inside the wrappers before I leave work.
Despair: It’s a step down from destrike.
Cheer up. You could be a dog, and then you’d be really loved. Maybe next life.
You know what’s hard? Getting a splinter under your fingernail. That’s hard.
They’re so wrong, but I eat the whole box, cracking up harder with every chocolate I unwrap. I lick the last one and use it to smear chocolate all over my face, then send a selfie to Nick.
I’ve accepted your sacrifice to the hormone gods. It is now safe to enter the building.
He sends me back a picture of him, Lavoie, Ares, and Jaeger playing cards on a plane, because they’re off to Florida tonight.
He’s smiling, but he looks tired, and I wonder if he had a hard practice today, or if he’s been more worried about the possibility of me being pregnant than he let on the other night.
I’ve started thinking that his love you was a total fluke, because he hasn’t said it again. And he knows I’ve been in love with him since before I could even say why, so I don’t want to say it first and make him feel like he has to say it back.
Even if I’d said it back that night, he wouldn’t have heard me.
He passed out so hard the next instant, I had to shove him to get comfortable, and he barely stirred.
After driving home to take my dogs for a walk, I meet Felicity, Maren, Alina, and Muffy for dinner at Felicity’s place, because we haven’t had a girls’ night in forever, and since I called Muffy for Muff Matchers, it’s become pretty obvious she needs friends other than her mom, so I’m dragging her along.