Charming as Puck(68)

“It’s part of her way of getting attention since her divorce.”

“Wait. Aunt Hilda got married again?” I ask.

“What? No.”

“But—we weren’t even in high school yet when she divorced your dad.”

“Uh, yeah. You haven’t noticed she’s been like this for years?”

“She seems…worse.”

“Nope. Just branching out to let you share in the misery now. Or maybe it’s menopause making her realize she really isn’t going to have any more children.”

We all climb into the car, buckle up, and Maren points it toward my house. “What really happened to you in med school?” she asks Muffy.

“I got a tapeworm that made me hallucinate,” she answers promptly, which is definitely not the truth.

“Better than getting caught by your boyfriend’s mother while he’s going down on you in a garden shed, I guess,” Maren says.

“Oh my god,” I mutter. “I thought that was why you were here. Who told you?”

“Felicity. Apparently Nick’s no longer the favorite child.”

“What?”

“Yeah. I mean, you can’t get pregnant by oral sex, so…”

“What?” I gasp again.

“Kidding,” Maren assures me with a grin. “I just think that having Nick move back home with a cow might’ve finally opened Mrs. Murphy’s eyes to the fact that he’s not perfect.”

“That’s not—” I start, but I stop myself.

Because I don’t think Mrs. Murphy thinks Nick’s perfect.

Since he told me about being so small and picked on when he was little, certain things have started to click.

Like, I’ve never heard his mother say he’s perfect. But I’ve heard her say the announcers are way too hard on him for how much he tries. Or that Felicity shouldn’t mess with him before a game, because he needed all his concentration. Or that all those people on social media are judgmental assholes for saying he shouldn’t have gotten that endorsement deal from some sports clothing company because he didn’t have the right reputation.

I took Tiger home not just because she was adorable, but also because I heard three people laughing at her weird little howl. And if I’m that overprotective of a four-pound dog, I can’t imagine what it must’ve been like for her to see her five-year-old son being bullied.

“I don’t think Mrs. Murphy intentionally plays favorites,” I say slowly. “But she has two uber-talented kids, and Nick’s spent a lot of his life defending and protecting Felicity for everything under the sun. Even when Felicity sometimes hates him, she still loves him, you know? His mother probably just feels it even bigger, because she’s his mom.”

“Do you really think he can learn to be a good boyfriend?” Maren asks.

“Have you ever seen him fail at anything he put his mind to?”

“I’ve only seen him put his mind to hockey, pranks, and defending Felicity.”

“God help whoever tries to insult you,” Muffy says on a yawn from the back seat. “The way he ran out of the bar after you last night—I got chills. Like holy shit he’s going to marry her at Christmas chills.”

And now I have chills. “We’re not getting married,” I tell her. “I mean, we’re not not getting married—we haven’t discussed it one way or another. We’re just…exploring doing this in a real relationship kind of way.”

“It was nice to see him win a game,” Maren says, “but if all you are to him is a lucky charm, I’m going to dismember him, starting with his favorite member. Just so you know.”

“I’m sure he knows there’ll be a line.”

She nods thoughtfully. “He’d have to truly be an idiot to not see that coming. And he’s definitely not an idiot. Not a total idiot, anyway.”

My phone dings, and I pull it out of my pocket to see a text from Nick.

“Aww, what did he send you?” Muffy’s angling over the back seat, looking at my phone. “It’s from him, right? I never see you smile like that for anyone else. Ever.”

“Man and cow,” I say.

“Is that code for a dick pic?” Maren asks.

“No. It’s Nick and Sugarbear. Having coffee.”

“Here. Let me selfie him back.” Muffy grabs my phone before I realize she’s serious, and when she hands it back, there’s a picture of her in my text message box with Nick.

She’s making duck lips and pushing her already curly, wild brown hair even higher. The top of her red footie pajamas are showing all the way to where Muffy is embroidered over her boob.

A new picture pops up from Nick.

It’s Felicity, Ares, Loki, and Duncan Lavoie all glaring at him on the Murphys’ patio.

Knowing Nick, he probably asked them all to turn around and moon him so he could send me a picture of the night sky.

A new text pops up from Felicity.

I don’t know what you see in him. He wanted us all to moon you.

I spend the rest of the ride to my house doubled over laughing. And when we pull up to my curb, I realize today’s present has arrived.

Muffy and Maren both climb out of the car, because whatever it is, it’s big enough that the pile of boxes is as big as two refrigerator boxes put together.