Charming as Puck(61)

I step around fans and the four people in the entire bar who have no idea what the big deal is—obviously not hockey fans—until I’m bending over and planting a kiss on this beautiful brunette with the bright smile and the sparkling eyes.

“Hi,” she whispers.

I just grin, because who the fuck needs words.

“So this is the gentleman who’s been flooding my clinic with an excessive number of gifts,” Kami’s mom says.

Pointedly.

“Somebody’s in trouble,” Maren sing-songs. “And I don’t think it’s Kami…”

I take a chair somebody offers and pull it up to the table, realize Kami’s giving me the mother of all don’t be a dick looks, and turn to thank the guy.

Lady.

Using a cane.

Shit.

“Uh, how about I get another chair,” I say, shoving it back at the lady.

“You gave me hot flashes watching you block that last shot. Keep it. I gotta get me some fresh air.” She fans her face while she navigates away through the crowd.

“I’m going to enjoy watching you not be a star someday,” Alina says thoughtfully. “When you’re just some nobody that old ladies whack with their canes when you pull dick moves.”

“Oh, stop. Both of you.” Kami points at Maren too, who looks like she also has something to say about elderly people offering me the shirts off their backs.

Metaphysically speaking.

Or is that metaphorically?

Zeus Berger took me down a rabbit hole the other day about those words, and now I’m backward. The fucker.

“Mom, you’ve met Nick, haven’t you? Maybe at the Murphys’ Christmas party?” Kami says.

Her mother, who has the same thick hair—though streaked with gray—brown eyes, and round cheeks, shakes her head. “I’m pretty sure I’d remember meeting any of the Thrusters. Especially if he’s kissing my daughter.”

“She and the mister got distracted by your dad’s trophy room and made out there all party,” Muffy whispers to me. “I had to hear the details from my mom, who was super jealous that they got to touch a real Chester Green trophy.”

Kami’s mom’s face goes pink. “Or maybe we did,” she says quickly. “Nice to see you again, Nick. Be good to my daughter. I have scalpels and know how to use them. And I’d like to be able to find my break room again.”

“But I haven’t met you yet,” Kami’s aunt says, holding out a hand and wiggling her eyebrows. “I’m Hilda. You can call me Hil. Or Da. Or Aunt Spanky-spanky.”

“Please don’t call her Aunt Spanky-spanky,” Muffy says. “Or else I’ll have to learn how to use a scalpel, and that didn’t go so well the first time.”

“And you see why I feel like the boring one in the family,” Kami murmurs to me.

“Wanna throw down?” I murmur back. “We can do that. Try being related to Felicity and Ares Berger.”

She cracks up. Maren and Alina both lift their glasses. “Love ‘em both, but the man has a point,” Maren says.

“Yo, Murphy, nice harem.” Zeus elbows through, which is a surprise, because usually when Joey’s in town, the two of them disappear and only emerge three days later smelling like a squirrel orgy. Joey’s throwing a few elbows of her own, probably to make a wider path for Gracie and the baby, but I swear she’s leaving Frey to fight his own battles.

With the bodyguard.

Felicity and Ares are bringing up the rear.

“You using this table?” Zeus asks the six people at the next table.

“Not if we can get autographs,” one guy stutters.

Zeus pulls a sharpie out of his back pocket and scrawls his signature on the guy’s forehead. Frey shrugs, takes the marker and signs too, then passes it to Ares.

“Murphy?” Ares growls.

I add my signature to the guy’s chin, because it’s the only space that’s left. Sticks in his scraggly beard, but we all have our crosses to bear.

Zeus and Ares take a few selfies for everyone else at the table, and then we’re all squishing in together.

“You want your froofy drinks?” Zeus hollers after them as they join the ranks of the standing-room-only crowd at the bar.

“Oh. My. God.” Aunt Hilda’s fanning herself, muttering the words over and over.

“You want—” I start, but Muffy practically leaps on me, shouting, “No!”

But it’s too late.

Aunt Hilda’s whipping out her knockers and offering them to Zeus. “Give an old lady a thrill, you big glorious lumberjack.”

Zeus looks at Joey, a dark-haired, librarian-faced, wiry woman half his size, who shrugs. “Go for it. Might as well practice for retirement in a few months when that’s all you get offered.”

“Joey,” Gracie hisses, but everyone else is cracking up.

Joey lets a rare full smile blossom, and okay, yeah, I guess I get what Berger sees in her.

“You ready to go?” I ask Kami.

“Nuh-uh, Murphy,” Zeus says as he signs Aunt Spanky-spanky’s hooters. “We have to do body shots to celebrate you getting your mojo back.”

Felicity sneaks behind everyone else to give me a hug. “Proud of you, you obnoxious pain in the ass,” she says. “That’s the Nick I expect to see when Indianapolis gets here. Kami, whatever you did to him last night, keep doing it. And do not give me details.”