Charming as Puck(46)

“But can I sneak out before your mom realizes it’s a good chance to grill me?”

“Ares has you covered.”

Ares grunts in agreement.

“Then I’m in,” Kami announces.

We all head out back, where the fog is slowly lifting. The Thrusters’ camera crew is setting up in front of the table. I try to slip beside Kami, but Felicity blocks me and lowers her voice so low that it only registers because she’s fucking terrifying.

“I swear to God, Nick, if you hurt her—”

“Good job, Nick,” I interrupt in my own low voice. “Way to grow up and try to be a bigger person. It’s about time.”

“I’m not saying you don’t have it in you,” she hisses back. “I’m saying Kami’s my sister. You’re committing incest.”

“Now you’re being ridiculous.”

“Fine. You’re committing friendcest. And you better marry her and be ready for all the blood and gore of childbirth because if you’re serious about her and this isn’t just some test to see if she’s your hockey good luck charm, then you’re going to give her as many babies as she wants and change all the diapers and clean up the yard of all the dog poop because that’s exactly the sort of thing people in committed relationships do. And if this is just a test to see if she’s your good luck charm, I will end you.”

A sliver of guilt jams itself under one of my fingernails, but it’s on my left hand, and I can still play with the guilt sitting there, so I just stare my sister down.

I do think I’ll play better with Kami not mad at me anymore.

I’m already feeling better about practice this morning, knowing she’s having dinner with me Tuesday night.

But more, I’m really fucking selfishly glad I get to see that smile again. Even if she does keep hiding it behind her mug.

And it has nothing to do with hockey, and everything to do with just wanting to be near her.

Also, I’m pretty fucking certain I don’t deserve this chance, but hell if I’m going to waste it.

I cut around Felicity and slip an arm around Kami’s waist. “Hot chocolate?” I ask with a nod at her mug.

“Cow snot soup,” she replies.

I recoil for half a beat before she cracks up at her own joke. “Oh, your face,” she says on a giggle.

Sugarbear moos in amusement. Tiger tries to run in place, her feet dangling since Kami’s holding her under the chest.

“Nice,” I tell Kami. “You know the difference between me at the net and me here?”

“Careful,” she warns me, her eyes going playful, that smile so bright it’s doing more than the sun to melt off the fog. “You don’t score unless I say you can.”

“Well, fuck.” She beat me to my own I block the shots on the ice, but I score all the goals here.

“Get over here, Romeo,” Felicity calls in mock exasperation. “My bratwurst needs to mortify you.”

“In a minute,” I tell Felicity, but suddenly my pants are tight around the middle and I’m two feet higher in the air than I was a minute ago, feet dangling just like Tiger’s.

“Now,” Ares says from behind me, where he’s lifted me by my waistband.

I shrug at Kami while I squirm in my pants.

Not the first time Ares has tried to give me a wedgie, and it won’t be the last.

Mom’s leading Sugarbear over on her leash. “Here you go, sweetheart,” she says to me. She licks her thumb and rubs at a spot on my chin. “Oh, you cut yourself. Hold on.”

“Mom—”

I try to duck her second attempt, but Ares grabs me by the shoulders and holds tight while my mother licks her other thumb and rubs my chin again.

“There. Now it won’t show on camera.”

“Wow, Murphy, your mom is hot,” Thrusty the Bratwurst says, courtesy of my ventriloquist sister. “Think she’d lick my chin next?”

“Oh, hush,” Mom tells Felicity, but she’s blushing, and she tries to smooth her hair down. She skitters out of the way, lavender track pants swooshing.

“Come back, Mrs. Murphy,” Thrusty calls. “We want to hear about how excited you are to be a grandma to a cow!”

“She’s such a good grandmoo,” Felicity vents in a dopey cow voice.

I choke on a snicker and try to glare at her. “Really? That’s your cow voice? Sugarbear sounds way more intelligent than that.”

“Says the guy with the hairless face,” she replies as Loki, her pet monkey, who adds an indignant shriek behind me.

Because the monkey’s sitting on the cow’s back, and they’re both giving me twin looks of who’s the dumbass?

“What happened to your beard, Murphy?” Thrusty asks before I can interject a single word, because that’s how Felicity rolls.

She’s fucking hilarious, and I know she’s improvising every word out of her mouth.

“My cow sneezed and it fell off,” I tell Thrusty.

“Weak-ass whiskers,” Thrusty says.

“Strong-ass sneeze,” I reply. “She would’ve blown you all the way to Kentucky.”

Loki screeches like he’s laughing, and Sugarbear moos.

“You think shaving’s gonna improve your game?” Thrusty asks.