Cataclysm (Four Horsemen #4)(49)

Twenty Two


Scarlett





Drake was not entirely impressed with his gift from West. In fact, he told me the next time I helped West prank him, he would put me over his knee and spank me in front of the others. I’d told him that wouldn’t be much of a punishment. He responded by pinning me to his bed, telling me how much he loved me and kissing me until I was breathless. To say I wasn’t completely won over by his playfulness would be an understatement. The Drake of my past had returned and I couldn’t be happier.

After he’d taken care of my welts, cleaned me up and let me go to grab some clothes from Francis’ room, I’d found him and the others downstairs with breakfast laid out. I sat down, took a sip of my tea and noticed West, Prescott and Francis were looking at me with expectant expressions on their faces.

“What?”

“You wanted to talk,” West said.

I put my mug down and dug my spoon into my cereal, stuffing it into my mouth and chewing. Setting my spoon down, I levelled my gaze on my four men.

“Drake told me you knew about my medical history. Now, I’m not mad about it, but I do think we need to stop keeping secrets from each other. Not to mention we need an actual conversation about our relationship and what it means for the future.”

Prescott reached out across the table and took my hand, stroking his thumb along mine. I didn’t strictly need his reassuring touch, but it grounded me all the same. The five of us needed to be realistic and clear about what we wanted from each other. I wasn’t scared of what they would say. Being on the same page was important to me after everything we’d been through.

“No more secrets,” he said with a nod.

I took a deep breath and let go of Prescott’s hand.

“I want to see my medical records.”

No one said anything as Drake got out of his chair and went over to the coffee table to pick up his tablet. He brought it back over, flipping through it for several minutes before he set it in front of me and took a seat again. I had expected him to say no or question why I needed this. He hadn’t. Instead, he gave me what I asked for without hesitation. And hell did it make me want to go sit in his lap to kiss him until he was breathless to show my appreciation. Instead, I met his eyes and gave him a nod.

My attention went to the tablet. I picked up my mug, sipping at my tea as my fingers hovered over the screen. I steadied myself internally and began looking through everything. They’d never let me see any of my x-rays from the accident nor show me the extent of the damage. This made it all clear. The fact I’d even survived was a miracle.

It confirmed what they’d told me. After the surgeries, the scarring had left me with severely damaged fallopian tubes and my ovaries barely functioned. The only reason they’d left them in place was not wanting to put me into early menopause. It was hit or miss whether I’d even get a period. I didn’t want any more surgery if I could help it. They couldn’t fix what had been broken. And it was just my reality.

Seeing it laid out brought it home. The accident had taken a lot from me. And yet, strangely, I was no longer sad or mourning the loss of it. Before, I had no hope. I had nothing but a big fat void inside myself. Four voids. Four missing pieces. Now, the void was no longer there. It had been filled and with it brought a sense of peace and acceptance. I wasn’t lesser or damaged. I was me. Scarlett. A woman who had survived many ordeals. It made me strong, not weak. It made me powerful.

I stared at the tablet for a long moment before turning off the screen and going back to my breakfast.

“I’m okay with the fact I can’t have kids,” I said, making them all look at me with startled expressions. They hadn’t been expecting me to announce it. And I hadn’t either, but the thing was, I was okay. Now all was said and done, it didn’t feel like I was drowning in misery any longer. I was whole.

“I mean, I don’t think I was before, but I felt like I was missing something… when in reality, what I was missing was all of you. I feel like myself again because I have my family back. That’s what I need. My family. Biological urges are all very well, but it’s what I want that matters. And I want you four. That’s it. Nothing more, nothing less… just you.”

I looked down at my hands resting on the table.

“What I need to know is if you all feel the same. I mean, I know you do, but we’ve never said it to each other when we’re all together. I need to know you’re okay with it only being us for the rest of our lives.”

The first person to take my hand was West, who was sat next to me. He rubbed his thumb down the back of my hand and gave me a look that spoke volumes.

“I’ve never wanted anything else other than the five of us.”

And if that didn’t say something about West’s feelings towards us, I didn’t know what would. We’d been dancing around the fact we loved each other and strangely, I was okay with it. He wasn’t ready to tell me. Sometimes words weren’t necessary when you could look into a person’s eyes and see the truth. West didn’t hide his feelings from me. He just struggled to openly admit them.

I squeezed his hand to reassure him. He gave me a nod, then turned towards Drake, who was sat at the head of the table as usual. He laid his palm out flat on the wooden surface. I could see the cogs turning in Drake’s head, but he didn’t hesitate to put his hand on West’s, as if this was his connection to me too.