Carnage Island (Reject Island)(58)

The way an Alpha should.

The way a mate should.

He didn’t lord his power over me, he let me be the shifter I’m supposed to be.

Tears prickle my eyes as I complete my transformation and stand on my own. I did it. I shifted.

But the males around me appear expectant, not proud. They’re still watching me with that subtle hint of intrigue.

When nothing happens, Tieran merely nods and says, “Well done, Clove.”

Somehow that feels lacking in comparison to the triumph vibrating through my soul. Even Volt appears to be less than impressed as he says, “That was perfect, sweetling.”

“A beautiful display,” Caius echoes.

Their words are what I want to hear.

But something is missing.

Joy, I think. Joy and… and… I can’t put my finger on it.

All I feel is a hint of disappointment, but I’m not sure if it’s coming from them or from me.

Until I realize the source of it. The last time I shifted, I went into heat.

Were they waiting for that to happen now? Hoping that I would fall into a full estrus? To make me truly eligible as their mate?

I heard them talking the other night, their words chasing me into my dreams. Tieran needs an heir. Which means he needs an Omega that can procreate.

That’s why he hasn’t claimed me yet. It’s also probably why he won’t touch me. I’m not worthy enough in my current state, something that makes me bitter and annoyed.

I want to be good enough for them. I want these males to claim me, to knot me, to make me theirs.

Because my wolf has already decided that they belong to her.

But what if I never go into a proper heat cycle? Will they reject me? Find a new Omega for their clan?

Just the thought of it almost destroys me.

I’ve already been rejected once.

I’m not sure I’ll survive it a second time, not when my spirit tells me these males are meant to be mine.

“Clove?” Tieran prompts, a frown creasing his forehead. “Are you all right?”

Am I all right? I almost laugh. But instead I hear myself saying, “I’m fine.” It’s a lie that tastes wrong on my tongue. “I enjoyed my tour,” I add, trying to focus on the positives.

Live in the moment, I tell myself. Don’t dwell on things you can’t control.

The latter is a phrase my mom used to say. She always told me to indulge in the pleasant part of life because I may never know when I’ll need those memories to help make it through a potentially negative experience.

Looking back on it now, I can’t help but wonder if she was preparing me for life as Canton’s mate. She taught me to pick my battles, hold onto my happy moments, and to know when to fight.

It seems she knew a lot more about my future than she ever let on.

Which makes sense given my Carnage Wolf heritage.

“Hmm,” Tieran hums, a hint of something in his tone.

He glances at Volt who responds with an arched brow. Something passes between them that ends in a nod from Tieran.

“Let’s get moving,” he says. “Clove, say goodbye to Caius.” He doesn’t look at me while he says it, instead already turning toward the dock with several bags clutched in his hands.

Caius whistles low, looking at Volt. “Well, this’ll be a fun trip.”

“Indeed,” Volt replies, taking the basket and bag from him. “Help her get on board, will you? I need to have a word with the Captain.”

I frown after him, confused by the sudden dismissal.

“Tieran isn’t a fan of lies,” Caius tells me conversationally. “None of us are.”

I blink. “What?”

“My suggestion is to tell them the truth,” he continues as though I didn’t speak. “It’ll lessen the punishment.” He wraps his palm around the back of my neck and pulls me to him in the next breath, his lips sealing over mine before I can speak. “Try to be a good girl, Clove. They won’t go too hard on you. Volt may even make sure you enjoy it.”

I’m so confused. They’re mad that I lied? About what? Being fine? They would prefer I complain about something they already know?

I shifted.

And I didn’t go into heat.

End of story.

What more can I say? What can I change? Absolutely nothing. So I am fine. I’m here. I’m safe. I’m alive. And they are welcoming me to the pack as though I’m one of their own.

When I’m very clearly not.

I’m a half-breed.

But I’m not dwelling on that, right?

Right.

Or do they think I lied about something else?

“Caius,” I start, hoping he’ll give me more information.

But he merely kisses me and starts walking me backward down the dock. By the time we reach the onboarding ramp, I’m panting.

“Mmm, yes, your slick will help,” he whispers. “Just kneel and take it. And be honest.” He nips my lower lip with the word and proceeds to guide me up the gangway to the main deck of the yacht.

Where he presses me up against a wall, cutting off my view of the luxury vessel.

His tongue steals my reply again, his skilled mouth kissing me senseless until I’m a panting mess on the ship.

“I’ll miss you, gorgeous,” he says softly. “But I mean it, Clove. Be a good girl. Kneel and beg. You’ll be fine.” He winks and escapes down the ramp while I gape after him.