Can't Look Away(89)

Liz’s face darkened, and she snatched up her cell. Molly watched her read the message. The air in the room grew tense, uneasy.

Eventually, Liz looked up from the screen and shrugged. “You caught me.”

“You cheated on Zander?” Molly’s brow knitted together. “Why? With who?” She knew she sounded judgmental, but she didn’t care.

“He’s a guy from work. He’s hot. Want to see a picture?”

“No, I don’t.” Molly shifted in her seat, a mix of anger and anxiety building inside her. “I thought you and Zander were looking at rings. I thought you were happy.”

“Don’t freak out, Molls.” Liz waved a hand, as if swatting a fly. “This thing with Sean—the guy from work—it’s nothing. It’s just physical. I know I need to end it, and I will … eventually. He’s just so fucking hot. But Zander—of course Zander is the real deal.”

“Wait, so this has happened more than once? Like, you’re having an affair?”

Liz seemed to consider this. “I think the term affair technically only applies when you’re married.”

“Jesus. And Zander doesn’t know?”

Liz flashed her a look. “Obviously not.”

“What the hell, Liz?” Molly stood. She was fuming. “How can you be so blasé about this? I thought you loved Zander.”

“I do love him, Molly! The world is not black and white. Don’t make this personal, just because Jake went behind your back—”

“That was not the same thing and you know it. Jake didn’t knowingly deceive me the way you’re deceiving Zander. Maxine came on to him, and that girl at the club was a setup—”

“Okay, Molly. If that’s what you need to tell yourself to sleep at night. What do you think Jake’s doing in Europe when he’s not calling you for days on end?”

“Fuck you, Liz! You’ve had it out for Jake since the moment I met him. You’ve never liked him. You’ve never liked me being happy.” Molly grabbed her raincoat from the back of the armchair and stormed toward the front door. She couldn’t stand to be in Liz’s apartment for another second.

“Wait!” Liz scrambled after her, grabbing her shoulder.

Molly spun around. “Don’t touch me!”

“Molly, you’re freaking out. You think I don’t want you to be happy? That’s insane. Just hang on a second before you go. You said on the phone that you needed to tell me something?”

Molly narrowed her eyes. “I have nothing to say to you.” Tears gathered in her throat. Her hands trembled as she pulled open the door to the apartment and hurried out, letting it slam in Liz’s face.

She rode the subway back to Brooklyn feeling sick in her soul. She couldn’t believe she’d thought going to Liz’s would make her feel better. Instead, she’d left with the gut-wrenching realization that one of her so-called best friends had become a stranger. Maybe Molly shouldn’t have been so shocked; Liz had always had a dark side, a part of herself she thrived on keeping separate from the bubbly energy of their foursome. But this—this deliberate, apathetic infidelity—Molly couldn’t just sit there and tolerate it.

She spent the rest of the afternoon in her apartment, eating saltines and peanut butter in a trance on the couch. When she finally got herself up, the digital clock on the cable box read quarter after eight. She hadn’t moved in hours.

Molly couldn’t go on like this, she decided. She had to talk to someone, and with sudden clarity, she knew exactly who that person needed to be. She had to talk to Hunter.

She’d been putting it off for too long now, but she couldn’t any longer. If nothing else, she owed him a real explanation for her insane behavior the night of Nina and Cash’s party weeks earlier.

Molly reached for her cell. She didn’t love initiating contact with Hunter these days—it gave her a funny feeling knowing that Blair was likely around, noticing her name on his phone. But this was too important. She crafted a text.

Hey. I’m really sorry to bother you while you and Blair are on vacation, but I need to talk to you about what happened a few weeks ago. Whenever you have ten minutes, can you give me a call? I’m in Brooklyn, by the way. Long story.



After she sent the message, Molly took a long shower, letting the hot water pound her back. Then she put on clean pajamas and climbed into bed. When she plugged her phone in to charge on the nightstand, she saw that Hunter had replied.

Happy New Year, Moll. Just back from the Bahamas this afternoon. Yes, of course we can talk. How about tomorrow—walk the waterfront at noon? We’ll grab lunch if it’s too cold.



Molly wrote back instantly, something loosening in her chest.

Perfect. See you tomorrow.



She turned off the bedside light, then huddled underneath the covers and closed her eyes. Molly hated sleeping in the bed without Jake, but she pushed the thought out of her mind. She would get better and better at doing this—pushing the thoughts and feelings that threatened to strangle her away so that there was space for her to breathe, to release herself from the consequences of her choices.





Chapter Thirty-three

Molly




August 2022

Molly’s mind has been so jumbled and preoccupied, she forgets about the blood test at Dr. Ricci’s office until the morning of, when Hunter reminds her.