Can't Look Away(59)

“I need to have a few more bites,” Stella repeats.

“Eat up, then. Dad’s gonna be late for his meeting.”

After they leave—Hunter always drops Stella at camp on his way to work—Molly stares at her phone for an indeterminate amount of time. She doesn’t think she can bring herself to call Jake back, so she puts in her AirPods—the noise-canceling ones Hunter got her last Christmas—and blasts Laura Branigan while she cleans the kitchen. She brushes crumbs into the sink and sponges down the pans and Windexes the marble counters until they sparkle.

Gloria, you’re always on the run now.



Her mother loves Laura Branigan. She used to blast the cassette on road trips and sing every word at the top of her lungs, Molly and Andrew in the back seat. The music reminds Molly of being young and free. Not a care in the world.

When the kitchen is gleaming, Molly returns to her phone. She pauses Spotify and calls Nina, who picks up on the second ring.

“Sorry, I know you’re at work.”

“It’s fine. I have my own office since I got promoted, remember?”

“Right. Nina Vasquez, director of publicity.”

“That’s me.”

“Proud of you.”

“Thanks, babe. So what’s up?” The sound of her best friend’s voice is like a tonic. Molly pictures Nina sitting behind her desk at the PR firm where she works, her long, chocolate hair swept back while she sips her coffee.

“Jake just called me.” Molly sinks down onto one of the rattan counter stools, the ones from Serena & Lily that Hunter hates. He says they’re overpriced and unoriginal, very keeping-up-with-the-Joneses. He isn’t exactly wrong.

“He called you?” Her friend’s shock is affirming. Molly has already filled in Nina and Everly on everything going on—that Jake is Sabrina’s husband, that the four of them had dinner at Jake’s mansion in Flynn Cove, that she cried in front of him on the Fourth of July. The fact that Molly’s very normal, steady life had transformed overnight.

“What did he say?” Nina presses.

“I didn’t pick up.”

“Voicemail?”

“Nope. And now I’m spiraling. I can’t stop thinking about him, Nina.”

“Have you seen him? Since the fireworks?”

“No. Sabrina invited us over for dinner again last weekend, but I made something up to get out of it. I’ve seen her—we get together pretty regularly now, I mean, we’re genuinely friends—but I just … I think I need to avoid Jake. It feels dangerous or something.” Molly pauses. “Hence the reason I didn’t call him back and called you instead.”

“Oh, Moll.” Nina sighs. “I can’t imagine. Plus, Sabrina thinks you guys barely dated, and it’s not like you can correct her.”

“Exactly.” Molly nods into the phone, appreciating how Nina just gets it. “That would open a very awkward can of worms.”

“Right. And you certainly can’t vent to Hunter.”

“No way. Hunt will barely acknowledge what’s going on.”

“Classic guy behavior.”

“I just…” Molly sighs. “I feel like I’m alone on an island.”

“Well, I’m always here.”

“I know you are.” Molly feels a stitch of affection for her best friend. “And I love you for it.”

“Wait, I’m such an asshole. I didn’t even ask how the transfer went yesterday. How are you feeling?”

“Oh, you are the furthest thing from an asshole. I feel okay. Just kind of exhausted, honestly.” Molly appreciates that Nina has become so familiar with the IVF process on her behalf. “I’m not getting my hopes up with this one, Neens. I try to be optimistic around Hunt, but you know this is our last embryo, and to be honest, if it fails, I’m not sure I can do it all again.”

“Physically or emotionally?”

“Both. Not to mention financially. But starting all over again, another egg retrieval? The testing, the hormones, the shots, the anxiety? It’s overwhelming and kind of all-consuming. Sometimes I worry it’s taking over my identity. Like I’ve forgotten who I am outside of it.”

Nina is quiet for a moment. “Maybe that’s why this stuff with Jake is getting under your skin,” she says. “Maybe being around him again is connecting you with that part of yourself you feel like you’ve lost. It doesn’t mean you still love him or that you don’t love Hunter.”

Tears spring to Molly’s eyes. A beat of silence passes before she speaks.

“That’s exactly what I needed to hear, Neens. You’re so wise.”

“Tell that to my boss. And tell her to give me a raise along with the title promotion.” Nina exhales, and Molly hears the clicking sound of the keyboard. “Shoot, I gotta run. I have a call in two.”

“Okay. Thanks for chatting. Tell Michael I said hi.”

“Same to Hunt. And give my goddaughter a kiss for me. I can’t believe she’s about to be six. I’ll see you both on the very important occasion of August twentieth. Frozen pi?ata in hand.”

“Do not even think about forgetting that Frozen pi?ata.” Molly laughs. “Best godmama ever.”