Can't Look Away(48)

Jake shook his head, his curls ruffling in the warm breeze. “They moved to Charlotte. John—Mr. Lane—is a professor. He started teaching at the university there a few years back.”

“Oh.” Molly shifted closer to Jake, resting her arm against his. “Can I ask … was your mom always like this?”

“Lobotomized, you mean?” Jake shrugged. “More or less. It’s gotten worse, that’s for sure. My dad has worn her down over the years. I used to try to help her … I tried so many times … to tell her to get help, to leave him. But she always refused, so I stopped.”

“Is he abusive?”

“Not physically. That’s probably the reason she pretends nothing’s the matter. He’s just an awful, selfish drunk. He went to jail for a bit when I was a kid.”

“He did?”

Jake nodded. “For a year and change when I was in elementary school. It was his third DUI. I was in the car when they arrested him.”

“Jesus, Jake. Why didn’t you tell me before?”

He sighed, pushing his heel through the sand. “I hate thinking about it. I was six. All I really remember is being in the back seat—the awful, sour smell of his truck—and then flashing red and blue lights in the rearview mirror. I waited in the police station for hours till my mother came and got me.” He glanced up at Molly. “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you.”

“It’s okay.” A seam split through her heart as she reached for Jake’s hand, pressing her thumb to his palm. “For the record, I think both your parents are selfish. I couldn’t believe that neither of them asked you a single question about Danner Lane.”

“They don’t care about Danner Lane. They thought I should grow up and be a doctor or a lawyer, something useful like that. They always said our music was a silly way to pass the time.”

Molly felt tears in her throat. She squeezed his hand tighter. “Hey. I’m sorry I made you come here.”

“Don’t be. You were all excited to see where I grew up, and I thought there was a chance … I thought maybe something could be different, this time. But it never is. He’s always a little bit worse. Sometimes I feel…” Jake’s voice trailed.

“Like what?”

“Never mind.”

“No, tell me.”

Jake sighed, dropping his head. “Sometimes I feel like I don’t know how to be a good man. No one ever showed me, you know? And that scares me.”

“Oh, Jake.” Molly pressed her cheek against his shoulder. “You are a good man.”

“I don’t know.”

“Stop. We just need to get out of here. We’ll leave tomorrow, crack of dawn. Yeah?”

Jake nodded. He wrapped an arm around her, pulling her in close. “Can you promise me something, Moll?”

“Anything.” She studied his face. In the moonlight, she could see the tiny spray of freckles by his right cheekbone.

“Promise we’ll never end up miserable like that, okay? Like my folks, I mean. Promise me.”

Molly inhaled the smell of salt and brine. Summer was ending, the Amagansett share house was over, and she realized this could be their last time at the ocean for months.

“I promise,” she told Jake, leaning in to seal the moment with a kiss. Then they stood and brushed the sand off the backs of their legs, leaving the Narrows the way they had come.





Chapter Twenty

Molly




July 2022

The day after the dinner at the Danners’—Jesus, the Danners’—Molly calls Sabrina to thank her. She could text, but she wants to hear her voice. She’s hoping Sabrina won’t sound as strange as Molly feels in the wake of the news that Jake—her Jake—is Sabrina’s husband. How is it possible, she thinks for the umpteenth time. How is the world that small?

It’s not yet five, but Molly takes another sip of the wine she’s poured, lets it dull the edges as she waits for Sabrina to answer the phone. She tries not to imagine her ex-boyfriend’s hands running along the length of her friend’s toned body.

“Hi!” Sabrina sounds cheerful, per usual. They exchange pleasantries, catch up on the events of the day. Stella got first place in a sailing race at camp; Sabrina was crushed with work.

“Anyway,” Molly starts, after she’s thanked her for hosting on Friday. “I have to admit, I sort of freaked when I realized Jake was your husband. I just … I hadn’t seen him in a really long time, and I couldn’t believe it. And on the Yoga Tree sign-up, it always says Sabrina Randolph—”

“Does it?” Sabrina gives a soft laugh. “Maybe it’s connected to the name on my credit card or something, because I did take Jake’s name. I’m Sabrina Danner now.”

“Oh.” Molly is caught off guard. “Well, anyway, I was upset because I thought it might make things awkward or weird between you and me. But the more I think about it, I realize it doesn’t need to be awkward. It isn’t awkward, is what I’m trying to say.” Molly isn’t fully sure that she means this, but she wants to.

“I completely agree,” Sabrina says. “It’s a crazy coincidence, that’s for sure, but isn’t life full of them? Besides, you and Jake dated when you were what, twenty-three? It’s not like it was super serious, from what I gather.”