Cake Love: All Things Payne(5)

My brain is making a mental list of all the questions I will discuss with him tonight when my nostrils become assaulted with a pungent odor. I look up and realize Ken Brooks has crept into the bathroom without my knowledge. It smells like he is shitting out a three day old dead raccoon. I've got to get out of here.





Chapter 2

Morgana's Problem: Her Friend

I walk through the front door of my apartment after a massively long day at work and toss my purse on the antique wooden writing desk that I inherited from my grandmother when she decided RVing across the country is the spice of life.

Mr. Payne ate most of the pizza I ordered, leaving one tiny slice for me. I never realized what an appetite that man has. Of course he made me eat my food at my desk, alone. It's like he’s allergic to humans.

Sighing as I flop down on my brown sofa sectional I grab the remote from our white particle board coffee table and flip on the television. I turn my attention from the small flat screen that stands on a red metal cabinet that looks like a squashed high school locker to the footsteps stomping out of the hall. I see my roommate, Aria, standing in front of me blocking the television. Her arms are folded and she is tapping her foot on our worn reddish Persian rug, another castoff from my grandma. It doesn’t take a genius to realize she is angry. The real question is what has her panties in a bunch now?

"Yes Aria, what did I do this time?" I try to look around her to catch the ending of The Mindy Project.

"Who the hell is [email protected]? And why is he sending you steamy emails?"

I wave her away from in front of me. She walks over to the couch and flops down, hugging her knees to her chest. I sit up a bit and face her.

"First of all, you really need to learn boundaries Aria. I think it's illegal to read other people’s email."

She shakes her head defiantly, sending her fine platinum blonde hair flying in the dry static filled air.

"No it's not. It's illegal to read postal mail that isn't addressed to you, but not email. I should know, my dad's a lawyer."

She has no idea. Her father may be a lawyer, but she doesn't know nor care what he does. She hates anything business related, being more the artistic spirit like her mom. Aria only breaks out the 'dad's a lawyer' argument when she doesn't want to bother with the explanation or threatening someone.

"Anyway, secondly Aria, it's none of your business who he is."

She pushes her finger into my chest and widens her dark brown eyes, giggles overflowing from her bubble gum pink lips, "Ha! Ha! I knew it was a guy. Come on Morgana; spill the syrup all over the table."

Oh Aria you and your expressions that no one on Earth would ever say. Not many people get her or understand the words that come out of her mouth, but it's Aria's odd sayings and ignorance with the laws of this country that make me love her even more.

"Okay, because you are my best friend. He is..."

I hear Honey Boo Boo child's narration from my ringtone which is radiating from my purse. Holding up my finger to Aria she sighs. I scramble up to the writing desk to dig through my bag and get the phone just in time.

"Hello?"

"Oh sweets! How is my favorite granddaughter?"

"I'm your only granddaughter, and I'm fine."

There is silence on the other line.

"Grandma you alright? Where are you? I can't hear you?"

"Sweets, I'm just crossing into Wyoming, heading to Yellowstone National Park. So I might cut out on you, not a lot of reception around here."

"Then why did you call?"

My grandma, I love her, but she picks the worst times to make phone calls. She’s usually traveling all over the country, so I rarely get to see her anymore. Ever since Grandpa died five years ago she has been restless. I worry about her all alone, but my parents bought her a big black and white dog named Orly before she left. The dog is for protection but I think he's more a companion to her now.

"I wanted to let you know Orly and I will be camping at Yellowstone, so you might not be able to contact me for a few days."

"Make sure you take Orly with you everywhere you go. That dog is crazy enough to scare off bears. I want to make sure you are safe."

"Oh sweets, you met someone haven't you?"

How does she know?

"What Grandma?"

"The last time you were worried about my safety you were dating that internet porn guy, Terance… Tony…"

"His name was Trevor, and he wasn't an internet porn guy. He filmed us...you know...doing stuff without me knowing about it."

"I hope you still don't worry about that. I saw it, what’s the big deal? You looked beautiful, but you always look gorgeous sweets."

I sigh. Can this conversation get any more uncomfortable? I never thought my grandma would be complimenting my beauty about a sex tape I was in.

"Changing subjects Grandma. I have met a guy, but we have only been communicating online for the past few weeks. He's in retail and I think he works a lot on the weekends as he hasn't had time to meet."

I look down at Aria who is still seated on the couch and now raising her arms in the air with disbelief.

"So, you tell your grandma but not me Morgana?"

"Oh sweets is that Aria? Perhaps you should tell me later about the guy, she might be jealous. You don't want to break her heart."