Cake Love: All Things Payne(21)

You would think that would have curbed my drinking, but you would be wrong. It got worse, a lot worse. I was drunk just about every day after that. Then about two months later I was in a car accident, luckily it only involved a tree. It was bad and I had to spend several weeks in the hospital and physical therapy. The only thing that kept running through my mind was, what if that tree had been a car that held another family, I would have killed them. From that moment on I didn't drink. That's not totally true. Every year on the anniversary of their death I get drunk because I don't want to be reminded. I miss them so much, even my mom.

So, as I sit here listening to all the treatments the doctor has planned and specialists David is to see when he wakes, I look at Tiffany and pray that the doctor is right. Not for me, f*ck me. What do I matter in the grand scheme of things, but for Tiffany and her little brown eyed boy.

We leave and head over to David's room. Hugging each other we stare down at him.

"You need to get laid Henrik."

I blink and turn my head to see her brown eyes looking up at me.

"Where the hell did that come from?"

"You were talking to that stuffed unicorn in Dr. Gerald's office again. You only talk to stuffed inanimate objects when you are sexually frustrated. Who is she?" Tiffany lets go and turns to face me.

I squint my eyes at her not wanting to talk about it.

"No one. Nothing. I mean, there is no one."

"Suit yourself. I just thought you might want a woman's perspective on things."

She walks over to a chair in the corner and pulls it to David's side. When I try to help I am swatted away.

Tapping my foot, I run my fingers through my hair in frustration and start to pace.

"Fine. It's my assistant, her name is Morgana. She just knows how to push my buttons that's all. She irritates me more than anything."

That’s only half true. Yes, Morgana aggravates me more than any other woman I have ever known, but she also arouses me more than any woman I have ever known (that includes all of the cartoon women I fantasized about in my teens).

Tiffany nods but keeps her gaze on David, watching the ventilator assist in his breathing. The lack of muscle control in his body also makes it hard for him to breathe, so he has always had a breathing machine.

"Ah, I get it. Well, I hope you can keep her at a good distance so she doesn't bother you too much."

But do I want her at a distance? No...yes...no...ugh!

I proceed to enthrall her with my lavish tales of Morgana. Basically I explain about the fainting and her rumored plans to marry cake. Tiffany laughs but keeps her focus on David. Realizing she needs a break I suggest lunch.

"It's lunch time why don't I take you to get something to eat? Get out of this fluorescent nightmare and into the fresh arctic Chicago air.”

"Yes, God I am starving."

She bends down to kiss David on the forehead.

"Bye munchkin. Mama loves you. Uncle Henrik and I are going to get lunch. I'll be back later to read you a story. I brought lots of books with me." She stands and wipes a tear from her eye. She needs to get out of here. I wish she had some girlfriends that could take her out. After the accident all her friends drifted away, so we only have each other.

As good looking as Tiffany is, I see her more like a sister than anything else. She tried something once about a year after the accident, but I was in no mood to date and I really didn't want our relationship destroyed. I feared if we would date and then break up I would never see her and David again. So, things are platonic, which works for me.

I grab her arm and help her to the elevator. Once we are there I notice her stare off into the distance. That is never a good sign. I need to joke and snap her out of it.

On our walk down the block in the howling wind I do my best Nicholas Cage impression quoting Raising Arizona and Jeff Bridges as the Dude. She finally cracks a smile when we reach the door to the diner. By the time we are taking off our coats at the table she is laughing hysterically. I admit I have been blessed with the funny. I was kind of the clown in college. Edgar Mimir, my best friend, was known as the Nordic Don Juan, and I was nicknamed the Goof. I was proud of the fact I could make people laugh. During the summer I would take classes at Second City for Improv, a secret passion of mine.

Before I sit I look around for a waiter to get some menus when I spot her. Morgana is sitting in a booth a few tables away, with Evaleen and another blonde.

"One second Tiffany. I see Morgana, my assistant."

Like an unsuspecting redneck on a back-country road being pulled up into the alien ship, I too am drawn to Morgana. Her back is to me when I stop in front of her table.

"Ms. Drake."

I feel Tiffany put her hand on my arm but I gaze around the table and see Evaleen glaring at me. So, I give it right back to her.

"Bechmann."

"Payne," she spits back.

I glance at the blonde who is swatting at Morgana.

"Oh, uh hi Mr. Payne. This is my friend Aria. Aria, this is my boss, Mr. Payne."

I reach out my hand to Aria and she grasps it, shaking wildly. When I try to pull away she won't let go. Finally with a bit of tugging, I manage to withdraw my hand.

"Ladies this is Tiffany. She is..."

Before I can finish Tiffany puts her hand out to Morgana and chimes in, “I’m Henrik’s girlfriend, and you must be Morgana. I have heard some interesting stories about you.”