By Fate I Conquer (Sins of the Fathers #4)(62)

Massimo picked up the dog and I carried the infusion. Nevio never left my side, watching me as if he worried I’d break down. I wouldn’t. Not today.

I rode in the truck bed beside the dog and touched her neck to assure myself that she was still alive while I held the infusion up. The dog was breathing slowly but steadily, relieved of its pain. She was black with a few random white spots like a cow. “I’ll call you, Dotty, okay? You’re going to live with me and my family, and no one’s ever going to dare hurting you again.”

We arrived at the designated meeting space a few minutes later. Our Camorra doctor and a nurse were already waiting for us there. But so were Dad and Savio.

I could see the concern on Savio’s face. Maybe one of the boys had sent them a text or called them, and told them what had happened. The nurse and doctor rushed forward with a stretcher, not questioning why they had to take care of a dog. I handed the nurse the infusion and hopped off the truck bed. Massimo had already walked over to Savio and Dad, and was talking to them.

“You have blood on your face, let me take a look at you to make sure you’re not hurt,” the doctor said, reaching out for me without permission.

“No,” I growled, backing away. “I’m fine, it’s not my blood.” I swallowed and smiled weakly at him, motioning at the dog. “Please take care of her.”

When I looked up from Dotty, Dad’s gaze hit me and I lowered my eyes to my feet. I swallowed thickly.

I focused on Dotty and followed the doctor and nurse inside the former warehouse now hospital unit. I sank down on a hard plastic chair and watched as the doctor got to work. X-Rays, ultrasound, examination of the burns and broken bones.

Raised voices drew my attention to the front of the warehouse where Dad was obviously arguing with Nevio. It wasn’t Nevio’s fault. Savio headed for me with a reassuring smile. He squatted before me as if I was a small kid. In their minds I’d probably never lost the status of one, because they thought I was frail and breakable. Innocent. Kind.

I hoped Dad would take a close look at what I’d done, so he’d stop putting me on a pedestal.

“Hey, dollface, how ya doing?”

Dollface. That was still his nickname for me, and sometimes the rest of my family used it too. Because I was pretty and tiny. Because I was sweet. Because I seemed breakable at first glance.

“I killed a man today by burning him alive,” I said because it was the only answer I could give Savio at the time. I didn’t feel much of anything at the moment.

Savio nodded, still smiling. He touched my hand which rested on my leg. “Yeah, so we heard.” He tilted his head. His brown eyes remained kind. He didn’t look disgusted, only worried.

“Dad shouldn’t blame Nevio. It’s not his fault.”

Savio chuckled, glancing to the front where Nevio and Dad were still at it.

“Your brother hasn’t been the best example. His track record is really messed up.”

“That might be true, but it has nothing to do with what happened today.”

“You can tell your Dad that.”

Dad was moving toward me, his expression troubled, but also lingering with anger. I knew the latter wasn’t directed at me. Savio got up and gave Dad and me space. Dad pulled me to my feet and hugged me tightly. Then he pushed me back a bit and searched my face. I allowed him to look at me, so he could search for whatever he was hoping to find.

“Don’t fight with Nevio because of me. It wasn’t his fault.”

Dad’s expression tightened. “That’s hard to believe given his usual activities.”

“I did it. Not him.”

“It definitely wasn’t just Nevio. I certainly can be blamed too.”

“If it’s genetic, then you couldn’t have done anything different.”

Dad shook his head with a sharp laugh. “You’ve been spending too much time with Nino.”

I glanced past Dad, toward the doctor who was coming our way. “I have to amputate half of the tail, so maybe you should go outside while I do.”

He meant me. Dad would hardly be bothered by the sight.

“I want to stay,” I said.

The doctor looked at Dad for confirmation, and Dad nodded.

“Why did you kill him?”

I pursed my lips, trying to determine the reason for my actions. In that moment when I’d tossed the lighter at the man, I hadn’t really thought much. I’d acted out of rage and despair.

“I don’t know if I wanted to kill him. I wanted to inflict the same pain on him that he’d inflicted on the dog.”

Dad nodded. “But by setting someone on fire, you take killing them into account.”

“Yes.” I’d known he’d die. It was the consequence of my actions but not their purpose. “I’m not sad that he’s dead.”

Dad remained silent. “But you regret using violence?”

I nodded. “I still don’t like violence. I still don’t want to hurt others…I…”

“That’s what makes the difference, mia cara. You acted out of kindness even if your actions were anything but.”

“I burnt someone because I wanted them to experience the pain they’d caused another creature.”

“Next time you want to punish someone who hurt an animal or person, tell me, your brother or one of your uncles and we’ll handle them.” He kissed my forehead.