By Fate I Conquer (Sins of the Fathers #4)(11)
Mom wrung her hands as Dad headed her way. He kissed her briefly and they exchanged a few quiet words. Mom nodded, but I could tell she wasn’t happy.
Mom barely reached Dad’s chest, but she was his rock nonetheless. She stood by his side and his decisions, even if she disapproved of them. At least in front of others, even us kids, it had always been like that.
She would never contradict Dad’s decision but her face when she looked at me spoke of her concern. She was worried for me. She’d always wanted me to marry for love.
Dad shook his head once more, then headed out, obviously still too pissed to be in a room with me for long. Mom followed him with her eyes before she looked at me once more. She let out a quiet sigh and headed toward me. Stopping in front of me, she touched my cheek, peering up at me with worry-clouded eyes. “Will you be okay?”
“With marrying Cressida?”
“Yes.”
“Sure. I always knew I’d marry for tactical purposes, not love,” I lied. For some reason I couldn’t bring myself to use her as a way out of this. She was the only force on this planet that could change Dad’s mind if he was hellbent on something, but I admired their marriage too much to drive a wedge between them. “Love is for dreamers or weaklings. I’m neither.”
“Your father is many things but not a dreamer or weakling.”
“Dad’s the exception to the rule. Your story isn’t the norm, Mom. Many married couples barely tolerate each other’s presence. That’s what I can look forward to with Cressida. With a little luck, she’ll hate me enough a couple of years into our marriage to punish me with silence, then I won’t have to talk to her.”
Mom regarded me quietly. I could see that she was wondering where the boy had gone that she’d raised. She almost looked at me as if I might be an impostor, or as if the boy was still inside somewhere. Truth be told, I was pretty sure the easy-going boy had been the impostor in the first place. Given Dad’s genes anything else would have been a big ass surprise.
Mom still worried about my emotional well-being. If she could look inside of me, she’d know that nothing could hurt my feelings or break my heart. Marcella’s kidnapping and the aftermath had hardened me, had turned me into who I needed to be to become who I was destined to be. My grandfather had shaped Dad into the hardened man who ruled over the Famiglia with an iron fist. Dad hadn’t done the same to me out of love for Mom. What he had been too weak to do, the bikers who’d kidnapped my sister had accomplished.
I’d enjoyed the carnage. It ran in my blood. Maybe I’d only held it back in the past because of Mom. I patted Mom’s shoulder when she didn’t stop looking at me with worry-clouded eyes. “I’ll be fine, Mom. I don’t need love.”
I went up to my room but Marcella was already inside, browsing through a magazine, high-heeled feet crossed at the ankles. I had suspected that she’d be over to dinner today because Maddox was out on a run hunting his former biker buddies. Her dark hair was brushed back, revealing her maimed ear, which still made my blood boil even if my father and I had taken vicious revenge on many bikers.
Marcella looked up and shook her head. “I told you to stay away from Cressida.”
I closed the door, crossed the room over to my desk and sank down on the chair. My phone beeped with another message. I put it down on the desk. I’d reply to Maximus’ messages later. “I did it for you. To pay her back for talking shit about you.”
Her blue eyes narrowed. “And I told you that you’d get yourself in trouble. You realize she’s probably gloating like crazy right now because she’ll be your wife, a future Capo’s wife. Paying with her virginity for it was a small price for a lifetime of everyone worshipping the ground she walks on. If I think about it, thanks to you I’ll now have to be nice to her, so you really did me disservice, not just yourself.”
I gave her an annoyed look. I knew I’d fucked up. Marrying Cressida was at the top of things I loathed to do. I didn’t want her at my side. She was already acting like royalty because her father was Captain. I could only imagine how much worse she’d treat everyone around her as soon as she had my ring on her finger.
“It’s too late now. Dad made it very clear I have no say in the matter. I need to marry her to keep the Famiglia happy. My actions were too dishonorable apparently.”
Marcella shrugged. “Dishonorable, I don’t know. I assume Cressida more than happily jumped into bed with you.”
“She did. No convincing necessary.”
“Then it’s her problem that she lost her V card before marriage. But your actions still were stupid. There’s a reason why most Made Men sleep with Outsiders before marriage to avoid this mess.”
The thought of being stuck with her was horrid. I supposed we’d just have a marriage on paper. “Marrying Cressida has its advantages. I don’t give a fuck about her feelings so I can keep fucking whoever I want even when we’re married.”
Marcella sighed. “You’re going to make an even worse mess, I can feel it deep down.”
“Says the girl who brought a biker home with her.”
She got up and punched my shoulder. But she knew I was right. Nothing I could do could possibly cause a bigger scandal than the one she had caused.
A month later our families met for dinner to finalize the details of our bond. Marcella had found a feeble excuse not to be present. I wished I could have done the same. She was probably banging Maddox on his bike while I had to bear Cressida’s smug face.
Cora Reilly's Books
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