Burial Rites(40)

‘I thought you didn’t believe in truth,’ dared Tóti.

Agnes lifted her head off the post and stared at him, her eyes paler than ever. She grimaced. ‘I have a question for you, speaking of truth. You say God speaks the truth?’

‘Always.’

‘And God said, “Thou shalt not kill”?’

‘Yes,’ Tóti said, carefully.

‘Then Bl?ndal and the rest are going against God. They’re hypocrites. They say they’re carrying out God’s law, but they’re only doing the will of men!’

‘Agnes –’

‘I try to love God, Reverend. I do. But I cannot love these men. I . . . I hate them.’ She said the last three words slowly, through clenched teeth, gripping the chain that connected the irons about her wrists.

There was a knock from the entrance to the badstofa and Margrét entered with her daughters and Kristín.

‘Excuse me, Reverend. Don’t mind us. We’ll work and talk amongst ourselves.’

Tóti nodded grimly. ‘How goes the harvest?’

Margrét huffed. ‘All this wet August weather . . .’ She returned to her knitting.

Tóti looked at Agnes, who gave him a bleak smile.

‘They’re even more scared of me now,’ she whispered.

Tóti thought. He turned to the group of women. ‘Margrét? Is it not possible for these irons to be removed?’

Margrét glanced at Agnes’s wrists, and put down her needles. She left the room and returned with a key shortly after. She unlocked the irons.

‘I’ll just set them here, Reverend,’ she said stiffly, lifting the cuffs onto the shelf above the bed. ‘In case you need them.’

Tóti waited until Margrét had returned to the other end of the room and then looked at Agnes. ‘You mustn’t act like that again,’ he said in a low voice.

‘I was not myself,’ she said.

‘You say they hate you? Don’t give them further reason.’

She nodded. ‘I’m glad you’re here.’ There was a moment before she spoke again. ‘I had a dream last night.’

‘A good one, I hope.’

She shook her head.

‘What did you dream of?’

‘Dying.’

Tóti swallowed. ‘Are you afraid? Would you like me to pray for you?’

‘Do what you like, Reverend.’

‘Then, let’s pray.’ He glanced at the group of women before taking up Agnes’s cold, clammy hand.

‘Lord God, we pray to you this evening with sad hearts. Give us strength to bear the burdens we must carry, and the courage to face our fates.’ Tóti paused and looked at Agnes. He was aware that the other women were listening.

‘Lord,’ he continued, ‘I thank you for the family of Kornsá, who have opened their home and hearts to Agnes and I.’ He heard Margrét clear her throat. ‘I pray for them. I pray they have compassion and forgiveness. Be with us always, O Lord, in the name of the Father and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.’

Tóti squeezed Agnes’s hand. She looked at him, her expression inscrutable.

‘Do you think it’s my fate to be here?’

Tóti thought a moment. ‘We author our own fates.’

‘So it has nothing to do with God then?’

‘It’s beyond our knowing,’ Tóti said. He gently placed her hand back on the blanket. The feel of her cold skin unsettled him.

‘I am quite alone,’ Agnes said, almost matter-of-factly.

‘God is with you. I am here. Your parents are alive.’

Agnes shook her head. ‘They may as well be dead.’

Tóti cast a quick look at the women knitting. Lauga had snatched Steina’s half-finished sock from her lap and was ripping back the wool to amend an error.

‘Have you no loved one I might summon?’ he whispered to Agnes. ‘Someone from the old days?’

‘I have a half-brother, but only sweet Jesus knows what badstofa he’s darkening at the moment. A half-sister, too. Helga. She’s dead. A niece. Dead. Everyone’s dead.’

‘What about friends? Did any friends visit you at Stóra-Borg?’

Agnes smiled bitterly. ‘The only visitor at Stóra-Borg was Rósa Gudmundsdóttir of Vatnsendi. I don’t think she’d describe herself as my friend.’

‘Poet-Rósa.’

‘The one and only.’

‘They say she speaks in lines of verse.’

Agnes took a deep breath. ‘She came to me in Stóra-Borg with a poem.’

‘A gift?’

Agnes sat up and leant closer. ‘No, Reverend,’ she said plainly. ‘An accusation.’

‘What did she accuse you of?’

‘Of making her life meaningless.’ Agnes sniffed. ‘Amongst other things. It wasn’t her finest poem.’

‘She must have been upset.’

‘Rósa blamed me when Natan died.’

‘She loved Natan.’

Agnes stopped and glared at Tóti. ‘She was a married woman,’ she exclaimed, a tremor of anger in her voice. ‘He wasn’t hers to love!’