Bully (Fall Away, #1)(85)

Us. Having sex. We were recorded.

And there I was, perfectly visible and extremely naked as I straddled Jared.

Oh, my God. I wanted to scream. This could not be real!

What was going on?

Snickers, snorts, and whispers popped up around me, and I jerked my head when the girl sitting next to me laughed out loud. She smirked, with her phone in her hand, and I could only stare in horror as she flashed me her screen. No, no, no. The same sordid video played on her phone.

As I looked around, my eyes wide, I knew others in the class were seeing the same video message.

This can’t be happening! I struggled to take in breath after breath as my brain worked to figure what the hell was going on. My eyes burned with tears that didn’t fall, and I felt like I was on another planet.

No, this is not real. It’s not…I shook my head, trying to wake up from this nightmare.

I couldn’t stop the tremors rocking through my fingers. I glanced back down to my phone and backed out of the video. The text accompanying the message read: “She was a great f*ck. Who wants her next?”

My chest shook with dry sobs.

Jared.

The message came from his phone. It was sent to everyone.

Madame called out, trying to get the class focused, “écoutez, s’il vous pla?t.”

I stood up shakily, pulled my bag over my head and hurried out of the room. The laughs and taunts behind me were like white noise. They were there. They were always f*cking there. Fuck me for getting comfortable.

Why didn’t I listen to my instincts? I knew I couldn’t trust him. Why was I so weak?

I held my stomach, trying to hold back the cries, wails, and screams that I wanted to let loose. My lungs felt stretched from the deep, fast breaths I’d been taking.

That video was everywhere! And by tonight, there wouldn’t be one person in Shelburne Falls who hadn’t seen or heard of it.

Jared. My head was splitting trying to take in the betrayal of what he’d done. He’d been patient and clever and waited for his revenge. He’d ruined me. Not just in high school but forever. I’d always be looking over my shoulder now, wondering who would discover that video on some sordid website and when it would happen.

And I loved him. How could he do something like this? My heart felt like it was tearing in two.

Oh, God. My stomach hollowed out, and I couldn’t hold back the sobs anymore.

“Tate,” a voice panted.

I stopped and looked up, my tear-filled eyes meeting Madoc’s. He’d just come up the stairs, and I saw his phone in his hand.

“Tate, Jesus.” He reached for me.

“Stay away from me!” I hurled at him angrily. I should’ve known better. Madoc would be just like Jared. He’d fooled me, too. And I couldn’t trust either of them. I knew that now.

“Tate.” He reached for me again, slower, like he was approaching an animal.

I wanted him away from me. I couldn’t listen to any more painful insults or degrading innuendos. No—scratch that—I wouldn’t listen to any more.

“Just let me get you out of here, okay?” Madoc inched towards me.

“No!” I cried, the tears blurring my vision. I slapped his hands away and caught him in the face with my palm.

He quickly stepped in front of me and wrapped his arms around my body, holding me tight as I struggled and cried.

“Stop it.” He jerked me a couple of times. “Just calm down.” His voice was strong and sincere. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

And I wanted to believe him.

“They saw everything,” I sobbed, my chest heaving from the heavy breaths. “Why did he do that to me?”

“I don’t know. For once, I don’t know what the hell’s going on. We need to talk to him.”

Talking. I was f*cking done with the talking. Nothing I tried to do with Jared this year helped me. Nothing made my life better. In the end, his bullying had ended any hopes I had for happiness.

Somehow I’d been wrong when I thought he really cared. When I thought he really loved me. I believed every stupid lie he spewed. Maybe he was never abused. He probably didn’t even have a brother.

He’d finally pushed me so far down that I only wanted to escape now. Escape into something other than hope, love, and all that other bullshit.

My anger and pain were molding into something else, something harder.

Numbness.

Indifference.

Coldness.

Whatever it was, it felt better than what I felt a minute ago.

I took a deep breath and sniffled. “Let me go. I’m going home.” My voice was hoarse but steady when I pulled away from Madoc.

He released me, and I walked away slowly.

“I don’t think you should drive,” Madoc called out behind me.

I just wiped my eyes and kept walking. Down the stairs, through the empty hallways, and out the front doors.

I’d parked next to Jared that morning, and when I saw his car I let out a hard laugh. Not from amusement but from the look on his face when he came outside to see what I’d done.

I grabbed the crowbar out of the back of my truck and ran the sharp-cornered end along the side of his car as I walked to the front of the vehicle. The shrill screeching of metal on metal sent a warming high right to my veins, and I smiled.

And brought the crowbar down dead center on his windshield.