Bully (Fall Away, #1)(64)

Getting off the chair, he walked towards me. I breathed in and out slowly.

Just take the beaker and flask and set them down slowly. Nice and slow.

“I mean, it’s not like we’re going to be able to go back to climbing trees and having sleepovers, is it?” he asked suggestively as his fingers grazed the lab table.

Sleepovers? My core started pulsing harder, and I knew my body was ready for what it needed. I felt it.

The idea of having Jared for a sleepover, even though he was joking, thrilled me. Damn, I’d love to let him keep me up all night doing things that we sure didn’t do as kids. I wanted his hands on me, bringing me close, and his mouth all over.

But I wanted him to care, too. And I didn’t trust him.

Blinking, I narrowed my eyebrows at him. “Like I said, I don’t need help.”

“Like I said, I wasn’t asking. Did you think that Porter was going to let you conduct experiments with fire by yourself?” He laughed bitterly and came to stand next to me.

“How do you know about my experiment? And who said we’re going to be friends?” I asked before bending down to grab my binder from my bag. “You know, maybe too much damage has been done. I know you’ve apologized, but it’s not so easy for me.”

“You’re not getting girly on me, are you?” he sneered.

Sifting through my binder, I pulled out notes and procedures I’d researched. I tried to read over the material, but having Jared so close made it hard to concentrate.

Turning to my left, I fixed him with my best bored expression. I didn’t want him thinking I was the least bit intrigued by his presence.

“Jared, I appreciate the effort you’re putting in here, but it’s unnecessary. Contrary to what your ego is blowing you up with, I’ve been surviving just fine without you for the last three years. I work better alone, and I would not appreciate your help today or any other day. We’re not friends.”

His cool fa?ade faltered, and he blinked. His dark eyes searched mine. Or maybe he searched for something to say.

Feeling slightly guilty, I turned back to my binder but ended up knocking it to the floor in the process. Its contents, not secured by the three rings, floated to the floor. A wave of embarrassment spread over my body as my tough girl speech ended in a clumsy mess.

Jared jetted to my other side and bent with me to pick up the binder and its contents. “You’re looking at cars?” He eyed the printouts I’d taken from the internet to be prepared when my dad got home.

“Yeah,” I replied curtly. “I’m getting myself a birthday present.”

He held the information in his hand, not really looking at anything, but he seemed to be thinking about something.

“Jared?” I held out my hand to get the information back from him.

“I forgot your birthday was coming up,” he said almost to himself as I took back the papers and stuffed everything in my binder.

I wondered if that was true. Our birthdays were a big deal when we were friends, but in recent years he could’ve forgotten, I guess. I hadn’t forgotten his. It was October second.

Yesterday!

Ugh, should I say something? I hadn’t done anything for Jared’s birthday the past few years, but now that the subject was up, I had no idea what to do.

Screw it. He would’ve forgotten mine, too.

“Does your dad know you’re looking to buy a car so soon?” Jared interrupted my thoughts.

“Does your mom know you provide alcohol to minors and sleep around on the weekends?” My remark came out way snippier than I wanted it to.

“‘Does my mom care’ would be a better question.” His sarcasm was a cover for the annoyed look I saw boiling underneath.

I frowned as I thought about Jared’s life. He grew up without a father and an absentee mother. He had no healthy role models or love in his life—that I knew of, anyway. Having no comeback to that, I remained silent as he slowly started helping me unload my crate.

Beakers, flasks, test tubes, and an assortment of liquids and dry materials covered the tabletop. I wouldn’t need all of this stuff, but had gathered it anyway when I was still trying to decide my project. Three different store-bought flame retardants and some ingredients for a homemade one cluttered the counter, along with different cotton fabrics. My experiment would consist of testing how cotton reacted to different resistant sprays. I had already put together my purpose, hypothesis, the constants and variables, and my materials. Today, I’d be putting together my procedures and getting started on one round of tests.

On top of all that, my nerves were now firing at both ends.

There was a time when Jared’s presence calmed me and made me feel safe. Now, his proximity had me hyper-aware of every time his arm came close to brushing mine or whenever I thought his eyes flashed to me. My head felt cloudy, and my hands clenched.

Annoyed, I twisted to grab my notes out of my binder and bumped a flask off the counter. Heat covered my face as I turned around to try to catch the flask, but instead, watched it shatter all over the floor. With my back to the counter, I stared down at the mess and inhaled deeply. At this point, I didn’t care if he thought I was crazy or overreacting. I needed him gone.

Jared moved in front of me and stared down at the broken glass. “I make you nervous,” he said without looking up at me. His assessment was dead-on. I knew it, and so did he.