Brooke (Under the Never Sky, #2.5)(4)

It makes no sense. He broke my heart and I still want him so much. How is that possible?

Maybe I caught the Dwellers’ fever. Maybe I’m delirious.

We are quiet for a long, long stretch that’s probably only seconds. But I can’t leave and he can’t leave, and every time he speaks, I feel worse.

“Brooke . . . you’re one of the best people I know,” he says softly, breaking our silence.

The words fall like frost on my skin. “Am I, Perry? That’s great to know.” I step forward. He doesn’t back away. I have to tilt my head up to see into his eyes. We’re only inches apart. Not as close as I want us to be. “Well, you know what? You’re one of the best Blood Lords I know. How does it feel to be almost the best?”

Silence. A muscle flexes in his jaw, but he doesn’t speak.

“It’s a bit like not being good enough at all, isn’t it?” I say.

“You’re twisting my words. That’s not what I meant to—”

“It is, Perry. It is what you meant. Admit it. I’m not good enough for you.”

Before he can say another word, I spin and head into the darkness. I don’t even bother trying to walk. I run.

My feet strike the hard stone ground at a reckless pace, but I don’t hear a sound. Not my footfalls, or my own breathing. There is only a desperate plea, filling my thoughts.

Get out of my heart, Perry.

Please. Get out of my heart.





2

With the hours I spent helping Molly, I missed supper with my sister. That streaks me more than anything else has today.

My stomach rumbles loudly with hunger, like it’s demanding to be heard. I imagine it taunting me: You thought vomit and brokenheartedness was all? Foolish of you.

I want to find Clara, but first I make a quick detour to the cluttered cavern that serves as our kitchen, grateful to find a leftover piece of bread. It’s burnt and so hard it feels like a log, but it’s food. I pull the dagger from my belt and cut the center, then wedge a thick slice of goat cheese inside. I head for the main cavern, managing not to chip any teeth as I wolf down my meager meal.

When we found out we’d be moving from the Tide compound to this cave, Marron took it upon himself to make it as livable as possible. He had a wooden platform installed at the center of the main cavern—a raised dais, about a foot and a half tall and forty feet square. His idea was that people needed a smooth place to sit and eat.

It seemed like a lot of trouble to go to at the time, but he was right to have it built. It’s the area where the tribe gathers now. The platform always has at least a dozen people sitting on it and along its perimeter. It’s where we socialize and spend our free time—what little we have of it.

The platform is my first stop in my search to find Clara, and I’m smiling before I even get there. Just thinking about my sister makes me forget Perry’s you’re one of the best people comment.

“Brooke!” Gren calls out. He stands to the left of the platform. Gren is one of the Six. The three Seer brothers are with him as well. Twig isn’t here—he’s away with Roar—and Reef is absent too, probably off growling at someone about something. So at this very moment, the Six are actually the Four.

Despite being relatively young, the Six are harder-edged than the men born into my tribe. “Borderland tough,” my father says of them. Fighters to the core. They used to be a wandering pack that had no allegiance to a Blood Lord. They’d still be in the borderlands if it weren’t for Perry, who won their loyalty and brought them into the Tides.

Perry is like that. Always gathering strays. I see evidence of it everywhere. In Marron and the Six. In the Dwellers. Even in a mutt like Flea. Perry never turns anyone away.

Only me.

“Hey.” I walk up to them, resting a hand on my hip. From the corner of my eye, I see bread crumbs on my chest, so I brush them off.

Hyde’s cheeks turn radish red as a blush creeps over them. Hayden and Straggler start elbowing each other. Gren’s smile widens, his eyes leaving my face and straying downward.

I roll my eyes. Gren and Hayden are in their twenties, unlike Hyde and Straggler, who are closer to my age of nineteen, but they all behave as though they are twelve. Collectively. “What do you need?” I ask Gren.

“You, Brooke,” he says immediately. “I need you.”

I shake my head. Here we go.

“I do too,” says Hayden. “I’m desperate for you.”

“Don’t listen to them, Brooke,” says Hyde. “I need you.”

“I need you the most,” says Straggler, the youngest brother.

“Keep out of this, boy-man. You don’t know anything about women.”

“That’s why I need her the most! Teach me, Brooke!”

I let them go on for a little while. I like the Six. I’ve known every male in the Tides since I was born, and I’m related to almost half of them, so it’s fun having new boys around. They joke constantly, but I’ve fought alongside them and I trust them. They might be a little crass, but they respect me. I’d beat them blue if they didn’t.

“Have you seen my sister?” I say, cutting them off.

Silence falls over them. Their smiles fade, and they look at one another like I’ve just given them a complicated problem to solve. Thankfully, Bear, who is sitting nearby, overhears.