Brooke (Under the Never Sky, #2.5)(12)

“Brooke, go get Peregrine!” Molly snaps.

I turn to go, but it’s as though Perry somehow sensed he was needed, because there he is, running toward us. Gren appears behind him, and that explains why Perry is already here.

Gren is an Aud. They were likely in the Battle Room nearby and Gren heard Molly. Heard her panicked voice shouting Perry’s name.

I step back before I am run over by them. There is a mad scramble as Molly issues orders. Then Aria is in Perry’s arms and it’s like the night she was poisoned. The night of her Marking ceremony.

He carries her out, but this time we all follow.

He takes her into the Battle Room and sets her on the trestle table. Marron enters, making clipped demands for clean towels, boiled water, and surgical supplies from the Dweller Hover. I have never heard such a commanding tone from him.

I’m there. I know I’m there because I see and hear everything. But I am numb as the supplies arrive. Numb as Aria is injected with needles that finally relax her rigid, shaking muscles. Numb as her arm is sliced open by Molly while Marron aids her.

The smell and the blood make me queasy, so I stare at Perry’s face as he hovers over Aria. He speaks to her though she’s unconscious. He begs her to hold on and he tells her in a dozen different ways that he loves her.

The things he says . . . they are beautiful.

I don’t want to see or hear any more.

I leave the Battle Room, with its small army of people fighting to keep Aria alive, and wind my way through the dark corridors of the cave.

I wander aimlessly for a while, not feeling angry or hurt or much of anything.

All I can hold in my mind is hope. I want Aria to heal. I don’t want Perry to have his heart broken too. As much as it hurt to be left by him, he’s my Blood Lord. And he’s my friend.

He was my nemesis in archery competitions when we were young. He was my best friend’s little brother. Roar’s constant companion in tormenting Liv and me. A pest for many years, in truth. Awkward and gangly and too quiet, until the day he became gorgeous and graceful and quietly confident.

He is not just a friend, I realize. He is family. That means we have an unbreakable bond. I want him to be well and happy. Even if it’s not with me.

His face appears in my mind as he whispered to Aria so passionately and desperately. The bond between them is visceral, like Marron said in the meeting this morning. Life-sustaining.

It’s what I want.

Perry never felt that way about me. He cared for me. I know he did. Does. But he never felt that for me, like if one of you dies, you both die.

Then it hits me, and I don’t know how I didn’t realize it before.

I never felt that way about him, either.





6

It’s a revelation.

It’s a revelation, and I need time to consider it.

It’s a precious jewel; I need to hold it up to the light. Turn it, so I can see its shine from every angle.

I cross the main cavern in a daze, barely aware of the eyes that follow me as I pass the platform and walk outside to the sandy cove. I don’t stop until the waves are pushing against my shins. Then I stare at the ocean and let it come. All of it.

The truth.

There was no beginning to Roar and Liv. No starting point. The day Roar came limping into the compound with his grandmother, he was already in love with Liv. She was in love with him, too. Everyone in the tribe saw it. We all knew the seed was there; it just needed to emerge. When it did, Liv had something incredible in her life.

Something I wanted too.

But there was more to it than just that. There were other reasons I wanted Perry. My attraction to him was growing by the day, and he had always been honest and loyal and good. I wanted him for who he was, and for what he’d help create. A perfect foursome of friends, made up of two couples. Made up of two sets of best friends. Every combination felt good.

More than anything, though, I wanted us to be like Roar and Liv. As unabashedly in love. But we weren’t.

Unlike Liv and Roar, Perry and I had a beginning. It was a spring night, in the clearing. The tribe was gathered after supper, enjoying a crisp evening outside after a long winter. Roar was singing while Pierce played guitar. I sat next to Perry on the dirt, close enough that our legs bumped. He moved to scoot away, but I grabbed his forearm and kept him there. Then I kissed him, right there in front of everyone.

At home, my mother nearly pinched my arm off for that. But I knew Perry too well. Know him, since he hasn’t changed. He doesn’t do anything unless he believes in it, heart and soul. I knew I’d need to give him a big push to get us started. And it worked.

After that kiss, everyone assumed we were together. I let them think we were. I watched Perry’s amusement at the notion gradually shift to acceptance. The next time I kissed him, he kissed me back, and that was all.

In a way, Perry was the last to know about us.

But while I initiated things between us, it didn’t stay that way. Perry was there for me. Laughing with me. Wanting me. I know, for a time anyway, that he was as swept away by me as I was by him. But that started to change as soon as Liv and Roar left for Rim. With our foursome split in half, Perry began to drift away from me.

The hints were subtle at first. He’d draw away from a kiss too soon, or fall silent when I spoke to him about our future. Then the signs grew into bigger things. Misunderstandings. Arguments that never felt like they were resolved. I saw the direction we were heading. I just didn’t want to believe it.