Breakable (Contours of the Heart, #2)(81)

She nodded. ‘I think so. Erin’s told her that you teach the self-defence class and you’re campus police. Little white lies, but she’s just so scared …’

‘I understand.’ I took a calming breath and composed my features. ‘What’s her name?’

‘Mindi.’

Jacqueline’s roommate sat on her bed, one arm tightly surrounding a girl who reminded me of Carlie – pale blonde hair, heart-shaped face – every feature small and delicate except for her huge eyes. But I’d never seen Carlie like this.

‘Hi, Mindi. I’m Lucas.’ I approached her slowly.

‘Y-you don’t look like a p-police officer,’ she stuttered, breaths shaky, speech broken from crying.

Lip ring, longish hair, hoodie – I didn’t look like the most trustworthy guy, and I certainly didn’t look official. I squatted in front of her, but not too close. ‘I’m actually a student. But I have a work-study job with the police department.’

She seemed to accept this.

‘So the thing is, we need to get you to the hospital so you can see a counsellor and a doctor, and see about filing a report.’ Her eyes filled with tears, and I continued. ‘You’ll need to be really brave to do that stuff, but Erin and Jacqueline think you can do it, and so do I.’

‘Absolutely,’ Erin said, holding her hand. ‘And I won’t leave you for a minute.’

Mindi sniffled and wiped her eyes with the back of her hands. ‘Okay.’ Her voice was high-pitched, like a child.

‘Do you have parents nearby?’ I asked, fighting to unclench my jaw. I could have ground glass between my teeth.

She shook her head. ‘They’re in Pennsylvania. But I can’t call them. I can’t.’ Her hysteria escalated with each word. ‘They’ll be so mad that I was drinking –’

‘You don’t have to call them yet,’ I said. ‘But there’s no way they’ll be angry with you.’ I hoped this was true. If this was Carlie, or Jacqueline … best not to go down that path just now. I took another calming breath. ‘You can talk to the counsellor about how to tell them, okay?’

She nodded, mimicking my deep breath with one of her own, shuddering and gripping Erin’s hand.

‘So we should go to the hospital, then, Lucas?’ Erin asked. ‘We can take my car.’

‘Will you be there?’ Mindi asked me then, her voice hoarse. She must have cried for most of the day. I recalled Jacqueline the night of the Halloween party. The tears in her eyes. Her shaking hands. If I knew where that * lived, he’d be dead by the end of the night.

I glanced at Erin and she nodded. ‘If you want,’ I answered. Mindi nodded. Fifteen minutes later, the four of us entered the ER, and I found out how difficult it is to tell.

I fixed my poker expression in place when the details of last night’s party began coming out, before we even left the room. It had been a big deal event – a formal, multi-frat party, with both Buck and Kennedy Moore in attendance – and Jacqueline went. She’s not Greek, so there was no requirement for her to go, no expectations of her presence there.

‘Erin needed me as a buffer with her ex,’ she offered in the backseat on the way, her voice a murmur. I hadn’t asked her why she went.

Once we were alone in the waiting room, I had to know if Buck had approached her. ‘So did he talk to you? Last night?’ I didn’t look at her or tag the question with a name. I was certain she knew who I meant.

‘Yeah. He asked me to dance.’

I sat stock-still and couldn’t look at her. I wasn’t angry with her – I wasn’t. But the thought that she’d put herself that close to him without me there scared the unholy f*ck out of me. Finally, I raised my eyes to hers.

‘I said no,’ she said, as if she was at fault for any of this. As if she was placating jealousy, when all I felt was terror and an unconditional, all-encompassing need to protect her.

‘Jacqueline,’ I spoke low, forcing my jaw to release. ‘It’s taking everything I’ve got right now to sit here and wait for law-abiding justice to take care of this, instead of hunting him down myself and beating the f*cking shit out of him. I’m not blaming you – or her. Neither of you asked for what he did – there’s no such thing as asking for it. That’s a f*cking lie argued by psychopaths and dumbasses. Okay?’

She nodded, saying nothing, and I asked if he accepted her no. My temper was in danger of snapping. I felt it, twisting and stretching, striving to free itself, promising retribution and vengeance I had no right to mete out. I was just this side of containing it.

She told me her ex was with her, and he’d noticed her discomfort. She told him what happened that night. ‘He was angrier than I’ve ever seen him. He took Buck outside and talked to him, told him to stay away from me … which probably made Buck feel weak, and that’s why …’ Her words trailed off.

Jacqueline thought Buck’s resentment over Moore’s dressing-down was why he’d raped Mindi. The sad truth was, that was possible – guys like him are weaklings who act out when they feel powerless – but what Jacqueline couldn’t understand was that his actions were still no one’s fault but his.

‘What did I just say?’ I told her. ‘This is not your fault.’