Bone Music (Burning Girl #1)(68)

“I know,” she says. “And given the situation I’m in, it’s still possible.”

His smile fades, but she’s not seeing surrender in his eyes. She’s seeing determination, calculation, an unwillingness to give in to her fear. Is it too soon to call it loyalty?

“OK. Then let me just ask this. And I promise you—no, I swear to you—your answer will never leave this car.”

She nods.

“Did you kill someone?” he asks.

Her mind flashes to the biker somersaulting down her windshield. Would the guy be dead if he hadn’t tried to run her off the road? Nope.

“No.”

Although, she thinks, given who Dylan claims to be working for, he could probably make it look like I did.

“Did you rob someone?” he asks.

“No.”

“But someone’s after you?”

“Yes. This is more than one question, Luke.”

“And you made time to drop in on me during all this?”

“You would have made a really good FBI agent.”

“I know. So . . . your drop-in?”

She studies his face; his expression’s blank. Another sign he’s switched into investigator mode.

“I thought you might be in on it,” she says.

His eyes light up with surprise.

“Correction. Marty thought you might be in on it. This . . . thing . . . It’s big, and, uh, when I told Marty about it, he said you showed up in town after interviewing with the FBI and maybe . . .”

“Maybe what?”

“Maybe you were trying to find me. Or watch me. I don’t know—he just thought you might be part of it.”

Luke’s barking laughter fills the Jeep. It sounds genuine, and it leaves him breathless, doubled over, and gripping the top of the steering wheel with both hands. “That’s awesome,” he finally manages.

“Awesome?” she asks.

“No, it’s just that . . . I mean, if you had any idea how completely lame my life was right now, the fact that you’d think I’m involved in some sort of massive conspiracy . . . It’s pretty funny, Charley. I’m sorry. I’m not trying to make light of your situation. But seriously, all I do is drive around a town I never wanted to see again, getting into fights with guys like Marty even as I try to convince them I’m not the giant prick I used to be, and then I go home to my mostly empty house, watch free porn and fall asleep, usually after the third beer and a frozen dinner. But honestly, I like your version of my life better. It’s way more exciting.”

“Well, if you want excitement, I can definitely give you some of that.”

“Sounds like it.”

“And it wasn’t my version; it was more Marty’s version,” she says.

His laughter proves so infectious, she finds herself smiling despite herself. After a few deep breaths, their eyes meet. He’s looking at her in a way she’s not used to being looked at. With a mixture of eagerness, concern, and longing. Maybe not for her specifically. But for the chance to be part of something.

“Is that what you’re looking for, Luke? Some excitement?”

“I told you what I was looking for,” he says quietly.

“Remind me.”

“A chance to do right by you.”

“You already did that when you told me the truth about Bailey.”

“I’m not leaving you out here, Charley.”

“I’ll give you points just for driving me this far.”

“Not enough. I mean, I’ll do whatever you want. But I won’t feel like my job is done if you cut me loose now.”

All right, buddy, she thinks. You asked for it.

“I was seeing a psychiatrist where I was living in Arizona. I confided everything in him, everything I’d been through with the Bannings. Afterward. We talked for months. Then he convinced me to take this antianxiety drug. He said it just came on the market, and he gave me a sample.”

She has his full attention now, can feel his gaze heating up one side of her face. But if she looks him in the eyes, she’ll lose her nerve.

“What I didn’t know is that he’d contacted one of my worst stalkers and given him enough info to break into my house that night. The same night I took the pill. But when he attacked me . . . the drug. It wasn’t just an antianxiety drug. It was something else. It made me strong.”

“How strong?”

“Very strong.”

“OK.”

There’s fear in his expression. She can see it. But at least there isn’t You’re fucking nuts, lady in his eyes. She knows damn well what that looks like, and there’s no sign of it. Still, he could have his own idea about what very strong means, and it’s probably not even close to reality. If she shows him the video, though . . .

“Are you on it now?” he asks.

“I took another dose before I saw you. In case you were . . .”

“Oh.” He nods, eyes wide. “Oh, OK. Wow. All right. So I shouldn’t piss you off, I guess. I mean, is that how it works?”

“No. That’s not how it works.”

“How does it work?”

“You would have to terrify me. You’d have to make me believe my life was in danger. That level of fear, that’s what kicks the drug into action.”