Blossom in Winter (Blossom in Winter #1)(111)
And before I can even blink, he rams so deep into me that it takes my breath away. “Ahhh!” I squeal at the intensity of it. My heart starts racing nervously as he pushes his cock slowly back and then savagely forth with a strength that scares the hell out of me. “Ahhhh…” I panic and whine, as I’m filled with fear. I’m breathless for a moment, but he keeps groaning even louder. He pulls back again and I shut my eyes tight, trembling at his next move. He grunts lustily while forcing himself farther in, and I whimper in a broken and feeble voice. But he doesn’t care. His strokes become more urgent, hurried, pounding me repeatedly in and out while gripping my waist so hard I wonder if it’ll bruise. I feel my pussy breaking apart, my body quivering. But I don’t beg him to stop, no. “Ahhhh...” Instead, I continue whimpering as I endure every single thrust. He neither kisses me nor holds my hands. He’s just entirely satisfying himself . The more frightened I am, the harder I feel his cock forcing inside—and the wilder he seems to be. I’ve never heard him growling so savagely before. At this point, I feel like that horse who has to remain obedient to its rider. I shut my eyes, as I can’t shut my ears. He rams farther and faster into me, propelling my hips forward with every thrust, but I’ll never ask him to stop. “Ahhh…” My breath comes in short, loud gasps, and my mind can barely digest so many emotions. I feel fear, pain, anger, and… fuck, desire. Desire to obey and let him do it. I remain silent, my face resting on the desk, ashamed that I want him to keep going—to keep using me so savagely for his own pleasure, to keep satisfying himself with me, his slut, his sub, his in every sense. Damn, I can’t even believe this is turning me on.
With his arms holding me tight, his strength blocking me from making a single movement, he pushes himself into me one last time as deeply as he can to fill me completely, and with a long, bestial groan, I feel his cock tighten and pump his cum inside. I wish I could have been deaf to not hear it so sharply. Even after that, he keeps going back and forth, and with each thrust, I feel more of his cum entering me. He starts to slow down, until he finally stops and remains inside me for a moment, savoring the pleasure at having used me so selfishly. I can feel his orgasm dripping out of me. It must have been a lot. Then he removes his cock very slowly, wipes it on my ass, and, once the tip is totally dry, puts it back into his boxers. I can hear his zipper and belt fastening. Why did he do that? Why was he so rough with me? I’m still paralyzed, barely breathing.
“Turn to face me,” he orders icily. His tone is enough to give me goose bumps.
I obey, totally mortified, in shock at what I just went through. My face messy, scarlet, my cheeks wet with tears, I stand up and feel his warm cum trickling down my thighs.
“Look at me.” He pulls my chin up, forcing me to stare at him.
Frightened by his glare, I swallow my anger and keep quiet.
“There will be times I might want to throw myself entirely into you without foreplay, without tenderness, without cuddling, without being gentle.” He sighs. “Do you feel comfortable with that?”
My jaw drops at his words. How can he ask me if I’m okay with that? “I…” That’s the only word I manage to mumble feebly. I’m so disappointed, confused, and enraged by his attitude that my mind is totally blank, unable to form a proper sentence. But he’s still waiting for an answer… And to my surprise, I stare downward and mutter the word he’s expecting, a word I find repulsive and humiliating for the very first time. “Yes.”
“Good.” He kisses my forehead like a rewarding gesture for my behavior, then moves down to my lips, but I show no reaction whatsoever to his touch. I don’t even look at him. He brings my hand to his chest where I can feel his heartbeat, and presses it against his skin. “Can you feel it?” I nod, looking away. “It belongs entirely to you, Petra. I’m all yours.” He pauses. “Are you all mine?” We hear knocking at the door. “One moment!” He waits for my answer, staring intently at me.
I look back at him and reply, despite my voice being weak and broken. “I am.”
He grins with an air of satisfaction. “I love you, Ms. Van Gatt.” Then he brings my hand to his lips, very slowly kissing my knuckles, and I find myself smiling timidly at it. “Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it. It’s just frightening the first time,” he adds, bringing my body closer to his. “May I have a kiss?”
I give him a quick one for the sake of him letting me go. Once he does, I run into his bedroom and close the door behind me. I hear him sighing loudly, then walking toward the library door and opening it.
“My sincere apologies, Mr. Van Dieren, but Lady Margaret would like to see you in her office. May I escort you there?”
“Sure, many thanks, Stuart.”
After he leaves, I take a shower with the intention of washing away my pain. Yet my mind is still tormented by what he has just done. I’ve never refused him before—why would he need to be so rough? I think about Mom and her warnings about Alex, and Margaret telling me how all women, after a while, were trained to please him and do whatever he wanted. I’m scared. Very scared. Not of him, but of losing him if I become too docile and too obedient, like his previous girlfriends. After all, I’m still so inexperienced, so young—easy prey for him. Oh God, what if I’m just a game to him? A dressage competition to win? Is the engagement also part of it? I swallow hard, petrified.