Bloodlines (Bloodlines, #1)(9)

“Great,” I said stiffly. A road trip with Keith. Ugh. But what else could I say? I had no choice in this, and even if I did, I was in no position to turn down anything the Alchemists asked of me now. I’d played every card I had tonight, and I had to believe being with Keith was better than a re-education center. Besides, I’d just fought a hard battle to prove myself and spare Zoe. I had to continue showing I was up for anything.

My father sent me off to pack with the same briskness he’d ordered me to make myself presentable earlier. I left the others talking and scurried quietly up to my room, still conscious of my sleeping mother. I was an expert in packing quickly and efficiently, thanks to surprise trips my father had sprung on me throughout my childhood. In fact, I always had a bag of toiletries packed and ready to go. The problem wasn’t so much in speed as it was in wondering how much to pack. The length of time for this assignment hadn’t been specified, and I had the uneasy feeling that no one actually knew. Were we talking about a few weeks? An entire school year? I’d heard someone mention the Moroi wanting to repeal the law that endangered Jill, but that seemed like the kind of legal process that could take a while. To make things worse, I didn’t even know what to wear to high school. The only thing I was certain of was that the weather would be hot. I ended up packing ten of my lightest outfits and hoped I’d be able to do laundry.

“Sydney?”

I was putting my laptop in a messenger bag when Zoe appeared in my doorway. She’d redone her braids so that they were neater, and I wondered if it had been an attempt to impress our father. “Hey,” I said, smiling at her. She slipped into the room and shut the door behind her. I was glad she’d come to say goodbye. I would miss her and wanted her to know that—

“Why did you do that to me?” she demanded before I could get a word out. “Do you know how humiliated I am?”

I was taken aback, speechless for a few moments. “I . . . what are you talking about? I was trying to—”

“You made me sound incompetent!” she said. I was astonished to see the glint of tears in her eyes. “You went on and on about how I didn’t have any experience and couldn’t handle doing what you and Dad do! I looked like an idiot in front of all those Alchemists. And Keith.”

“Keith Darnell is no one you need to worry about impressing,” I said quickly, trying to control my temper. Seeing her stormy face, I sighed and replayed the conversation in the study. I hadn’t been trying to make Zoe look bad so much as do whatever I could to make sure I was the one sent away. I’d had no clue she would take it like this. “Look, I wasn’t trying to embarrass you. I was trying to protect you.”

She gave a harsh laugh, and the anger sounded weird coming from someone as gentle as Zoe. “Is that what you call it? You even said yourself that you were trying to get a promotion!”

I grimaced. Yes, I had said that. But I could hardly tell her the truth. No human knew the truth about why I’d helped Rose. Lying to my own kind—especially my sister—pained me, but there was nothing I could do. As usual, I felt trapped in the middle. So, I dodged the comment.

“You were never intended to be an Alchemist,” I said. “There are better things for you out there.”

“Because I’m not as smart as you?” she asked. “Because I don’t speak five languages?”

“That has nothing to do with it,” I snapped. “Zoe, you’re wonderful, and you’d probably make a great Alchemist! But believe me, the Alchemist life . . . you don’t want any part of it.” I wanted to tell her that she’d hate it. I wanted to tell her that she’d never be responsible for her own future or get to make her own decisions again. But my sense of duty prevented me, and I stayed silent.

“I’d do it,” she said. “I’d help protect us from vampires . . . if Dad wanted me to.” Her voice wavered a little, and I suddenly wondered what was really fueling her desire to be an Alchemist.

“If you want to get close to Dad, find another way. The Alchemist cause might be a good one, but once you’re in it, they own you.” I wished I could explain to her how it felt. “You don’t want this life.”

“Because you want it all for yourself?” she demanded. She was a few inches shorter than me but filled with so much fury and fierceness right now that she seemed to take up the room.

“No! I don’t—you don’t understand,” I finally said. I wanted to throw my hands up in exasperation but held back, as always.

The look she gave me nearly turned me to ice. “Oh, I think I understand perfectly.” She turned around abruptly and hurried out the door, still managing to move quietly. Her fear of our father overpowered her anger at me.

I stared at where she’d been standing and felt terrible. How could she have thought I was really trying to steal all the glory and make her look bad? Because that’s exactly what you said, a voice inside me pointed out. I supposed it was true, but I’d never expected her to be offended. I’d never known she had any interest in being one of the Alchemists. Even now, I wondered if her desire was more about being a part of something and proving herself to our father than it was about really wishing she’d been chosen for this task.

Whatever her reasons, there was nothing to be done for it now. I might not like the heavy-handed way the Alchemists had dealt with me, but I still fiercely believed in what they were doing to protect humans from vampires. And I definitely believed in keeping Jill safe from her own people if it meant avoiding a massive civil war. I could do this job and do it well. And Zoe—she would be free to pursue whatever she wanted in life.