Blood Bonds(The Bonds That Tie #3)(19)

On instinct, I think of nothingness. I let the panic ride me even as I force myself not to think of the details, the exact reasons why I’m panicking so badly. I triple check my barrier to my Bonded, and then I check on my bond because I might have to let it take over to distract Davies from what he’d heard.

My bond is ready and eager to be let out.

I’ll take the pain for as long as I can and then I’ll let my bond take over to finish this session off. If Davies forces me to kill innocent people then… well, I’m a monster, because if it keeps my Bonds and our loved ones safe, then I’ll fucking loathe it but accept it.

I hate myself, but it’s the line I’ve drawn here.

“Fine. Fine, insist on being a stubborn little shit. I have more than enough tools to bleed it out of you. If I need to have you screaming to find out who he is, then I guess we’re going to need a bigger, blunter knife. How do you feel about being hacked to pieces with a butter knife, little Render? It’ll be hard work for me but, oh, the satisfaction.”

Deep breaths.

Deep, long breaths—in through the nose, hold for two counts, out through the mouth.

I can survive it.

I manage to convince myself of it too, right up until he actually starts hacking at my thigh, and then a scream rips out of my mouth, ragged and hoarse. Gryphon is pounding at my barrier, my head thumping with it, and I need to puke.

This is also when the entire scene becomes too much for Kieran and he shouts at Davies, startling me because I’d almost forgotten he was in here with us thanks to all of the pain, “Get your hands off of her, and I’ll tell you where he is.”

The knife buried in my thigh stops moving, but Davies doesn’t take it out entirely. The muscle clenches around it like my body is trying to force it out, but his hand is firm on the handle.

I blink my eyes open finally, but Davies is focused on Kieran. When I glance over to where he’s chained, he still looks like he’s halfway to his grave, but there’s a determined gleam in his eyes as he says, “Her other Bond, the one in her head, you’ll want him. He’s stronger than I am. If she Bonds with him, she’ll get the kick of power you want from her. He’s a Neuro, like you… he’s a lot like you, actually. From the moment they met, he’s been in her head. If anyone will be able to help you control her bond, it’s him. Just stop fucking cutting her up, and I’ll tell you where he is.”

I want to scream at him to shut the fuck up, but I can’t speak around the lump in the back of my throat caused by all of the pain and the moment I think that I see the triumph in Davies eyes. He knows that Kieran is about to give him another piece of the puzzle, another toy to play with to make me the weapon he so desperately wants. After years of getting nothing from me, there’s no way he’s going to even question Kieran about it.

He’ll just take it and find my Bond, drag him back here to live through all of this right alongside me.

Davies decides to prove a point and presses the knife down harder, slicing through the muscle there, and my bond finally kicks in, taking over for me to spare my mind from the agony, and then I finally feel nothing. My bond soaks it all up for me like the greatest sponge in the world.

My eyes don’t shift though. My bond knows better than doing that here.

Kieran has no idea that the pain just ended for me though and snaps, “Massachusetts. He’s in Massachusetts. Give me a pen. I’ll write down where, just stop cutting her.”

There’s a horrific spurt of blood that comes out of my leg when Davies finally pulls the knife out. Kieran’s brow furrows at the sight of it, but Davies grabs a cloth and one of his tourniquets to staunch the bleeding. He’s an expert at directing blood flow, but usually he uses it to keep me conscious for as long as possible during this process.

He wipes his hands off on a cloth and then he steps over to where Kieran is restrained on the other side of the tent, staring him down as though he’ll be able to tell if he’s being lied to.

He doesn’t have that ability though.

Kieran plays his part well, staring back at him with no signs of deception as he lists off an address and even coordinates of a place that I’ve never heard of.

Davies smirks slowly, deciding he’s been victorious, and steps back to his work desk. “If you’re lying to me about this Bond and where he is, I’ll come back here and I’ll really torture her. This? This is just a warm up, but if you send me away for no good reason and I don’t come back with this Neuro? I’ll amputate her leg. No pain relief either, she doesn’t need both legs to be my weapon. It was my next course of action when I last had her to get her to talk. I’m excited to give it a try.”

I want to pass out at the very sound of that, but then he’s back at the table and pushing a needle into my neck, injecting me with something that kicks in immediately, my brain fuzzing out.

“Extra insurance to keep you here, little Render. I’ll be back with your next Bond soon. Be a good girl and wait here for me.”

Then he walks out, and I lose track of what the actual fuck is going on here. I don’t know up from down, the table feels as though it’s spinning into space, and my skin begins to crawl as though a thousand fire ants have just been injected into my veins.

I lose my shit entirely.

There’s a cracking sound and a muffled scream, like someone biting down on fabric to stop themselves from making noise but failing kind of miserably, and then there’s some retching. My stomach doesn’t like that sound one bit, protesting immediately, and I turn my head to vomit. My restraints are too tight to move much and I’m sure there’s vomit running down my chin, but I can’t feel anything, nothing but the sensations that the drug fills me with.