Blind Wolf (A Werewolf BBW Shifter Romance #1)(18)

"With flying colors," he said, smiling. "In fact, you might care about me too much."

Her eyebrows knitted into a frown, and a sharp pain lanced her heart. Did he mean that he didn't care about her as much as she cared about him? Now that he had touched her, now that he knew what her body looked like, he was pulling away. It was the same as it had been with every guy she'd ever cared about. There was no way he would want her. How could she have been so daft? He was so handsome, tall and muscular. What would he want with a dumpy short girl with frizzed hair? She choked back tears.

He shook his head, as though he could sense her worry.

"I didn't mean—"

"I know," she said. "I mean, I shouldn't... I'm not right for you..."

"It's not that," he said. "Whatever you're thinking, it's not that." He bent his head so that his forehead was pressed against hers, their noses touching slightly at the tip. "God, Julia, you're the most amazing person I've ever met."

Julia swallowed hard. His arm was still holding her tightly, and she couldn't get away. She placed a hand on his chest, her palm pressing his body back. She couldn't breathe. If only he would let her go.

"You don't have to—it's okay if you don't want me anymore. I understand." She didn't want him to be kind to her out of guilt. If he didn't want her, he just had to say so. Rejection was something she understood how to deal with. She didn't need his pity; she could survive without it.

"You don't understand."

"If you don't want me—"

"Julia, I don't just want you. I need you."

Julia lifted her head up in shock. It was a good thing that Damien had a hold of her around the waist; she had forgotten how to swim, and as he pressed his lips against hers, she forgot how to breathe.

The cold water swirled around them but all Julia knew was heat. Damien's touch was demanding, burning her through and through. His fingers gripped her hip and pulled her insistently toward him as he deepened the kiss. Fire licked through every nerve in her body so that not even the coolness of the lake could ease her wanting. The hard muscles of his chest were slick under her palms.

Their limbs intertwined as the kiss went on, and Damien's fingers ran through her hair. Without thinking, her legs wrapped around his waist, and she could feel him hard against her. It was the first time she'd ever wanted something so fully, so completely. When Damien pulled away and broke the kiss, their air between them seemed to crackle with energy, as though their attraction had an electrical power to it.

"Damien," she said. His eyes sparked with a fiery expression, and for a brief moment she thought that he was looking at her, could see her.

"I have to tell you something," he said. "Something about me. It's important."

"What?" She searched his eyes as though she would be able to find the answers there.

"It's just that...I don't know if you'll be able to understand." His voice broke, and Julia's heart swelled with sympathy. Whatever it was, he seemed to truly be hurt by it.

"Let's sit back up on the dock," she said, trying to lighten the mood. "I don't want to drown you before you can tell me whatever it is you have to tell me."

"Sure," he said, and before she could start to swim to shore he had grasped the wooden pillar and swung himself up onto the planks of the dock. He sat on the edge of the dock and reached a hand down.

"I'll swim around," Julia said, not wanting to pull him back in accidentally.

"Take my hand," Damien said, extending his arm farther.

Hesitantly, Julia reached up. His large hand grasped her around the wrist, and as he pulled her out of the water his other arm came down and scooped her up under the other arm. With an almost superhuman strength, he lifted her up as easily as if she weighed a hundred pounds and set her gently to sit on the dock next to him.

They sat dripping on the wood planks, the sun warm overhead. Julia's nerves were as frazzled as her hair. What could he possibly have to say to her? Damien leaned his head back to sun his upturned face. His dark hair stuck to his cheeks and his eyes were closed, but the seams of his scars shone brightly in the sunlight, and he sat up, clasping his hands in front of him.

"I haven't been honest with you," Damien said. Julia's heart sank.

"What do you mean?" she asked. She tried but could not keep her voice from quaking. She pulled her knees up onto the dock and hugged them tightly.

"There's something about me, a genetic condition," Damien said. He stammered as he spoke, a strange contrast to the easy confidence that he had shown all along. "Not many people have it, and it’s...it’s serious."

"What is it?" Julia asked. She swallowed hard. Her grandfather had spent the last few years of his life fighting cancer, and the toll it had taken on Granny Dee was enormous. Julia didn't know if she could let herself fall in love with someone if she knew it would end like that. Fear chilled her heart, and she shivered even in the hot sun.

"I'll show you," Damien said, "but the reason I'm telling you this is because I never thought I would find somebody like you. I've planned my life out according to what I thought was true, and now I don't know what I can do to change it."