Black Ties and White Lies(92)

Everything about us was built on being fake. While things have become real for me, I can’t help but wonder where his head is at. Does he still expect for us to end after a year? Does he want to see where this leads? I can’t get my head on straight when it comes to him. I’ve been too swept in relishing in his constant attention and affection that I haven’t had time to really figure out if we’re on the same page. It’s messing with my head.

Like right now. If I let myself, this could feel like a real engagement party for Beck and me. I could let myself imagine discussing wedding plans with people and telling them about the actual wedding I envision having one day.

All of it is feeling too real. Beck and I have been swept up in planning an extravagant engagement party in a week that we haven’t even stopped to talk about what happened at dinner with his parents last week. We’ve been in a fog of working, planning and joining our bodies any spare moment we can find. I’ve never felt so desired in my life. It’s like we can’t keep our hands off one another. I can’t complain about it, but I also feel like once this party is done with, we need to have a serious talk about the feelings that are happening.

I need to know he’s as in it as I am.

A hand smacks my butt. “Stop staring at yourself.” Emma smiles from behind me, wrapping her arms around my middle and resting her chin on my shoulder. Winnie comes to the other side, all three of us locked in an embrace as we stare at our reflections in the mirror.

“I always thought Winnie would be the first to get married.” Emma looks over at Winnie and winks.

“Why? Because you thought my father would marry me off to one of the trust fund babies I grew up with?”

Emma shrugs. “Well yes. Too bad your heart—well at least your clit—is preoccupied at the moment.”

My jaw drops. “Excuse me, what?” I stare at Winnie through the mirror.

Winnie shoots a dirty look at Emma. “Emma doesn’t know what she’s talking about,” she hisses. “Anyway, tonight isn’t about me. It’s about you.” She squeezes me harder. “We get to celebrate you getting married!”

I make a mental note to ask her more about what Emma was talking about later. It hurts a little to know that Emma knows something that I don’t. I’m used to the three of us sharing everything with one another. I’ve never been left out when it comes to them. And while I’ve kept secrets from them when it comes to Beck, I don’t like knowing they share a secret that I’m not privy to.

Winnie pulls away, looking at me from head to toe. “Back to your original question, I think this looks incredibly bridal and chic. Beck is going to lose his mind when he sees you.”

“Beck always loses his mind when he sees her,” Emma pipes up.

I look down at the halter neck silk dress. I’d tried on upwards of twenty dresses, none of them feeling right when I’d finally landed on this one. It didn’t even need any alterations; it fit me so perfectly. Beck had surprised me earlier by hiring a team of hair and makeup professionals to help us get glammed up. I’d been upset that my family couldn’t make the trip up for the engagement party. My dad got sick last minute, and while he’s doing okay, he was advised not to travel.

We had almost a mini spa day this morning in the loft while Beck took care of last minute arrangements for the party. It made me feel better, even though I swore up and down to do a video call with my mom later to show her the party. She’s mad she has to miss out, she’s more fun than I am. Never one to miss a party.

A knock sounds on my bedroom door. Emma races to it. “I’ll get it!”

I walk to the edge of my closet, opening up my jewelry organizer. My eyes travel over the different luxurious pieces of jewelry Beck had bought me. I settle on a pair of teardrop diamond earrings that have a halo of sapphires. When Beck had told me to pick out whatever I wanted for the occasion, I knew immediately when I saw these that I wanted them. The deep blue of the gemstone reminded me of his eye color.

“Something blue,” he’d noted, staring at me with an unreadable look. I’d blushed, imagining not only wearing the earrings at our fake engagement party, but one day to an actual wedding to him.

“Okay, but seriously,” Emma comments, walking back into the closet. “Where do I find a man like Beck? Surely he has some billionaire friends who will spoil me with gifts and orgasms.”

I focus on the nicely wrapped box in her hands. It’s wrapped in matte black paper with a white bow neatly tied around it. Emma begins to pull on one strand of the bow before I yank it from her arms. “Hands off,” I scold, holding it to my chest. “This is my gift.”

She playfully sticks her tongue out at me, turning to go into my room. “Well, let’s sit down and open it so I can be incredibly jealous of you.”

Winnie shows off her perfectly straight and white teeth in a wide smile. “You don’t have to open it in front of us if you don’t want to. Although I do want to see…”

“Speak for yourself!” Emma yells from the room. “I’m dying to know what he got her. Hurry up, ladies.”

I laugh, nodding my head to the room. “We can’t keep her waiting or she’ll come back in here.”

Winnie and I take a seat on the bed with Emma, all of us staring at the neatly wrapped box in my lap. Part of me wants to open it alone, to cherish the moment, knowing the gift has to be from Beck. I know there’s no way Emma would let me get away with that, and another part of me wants to giggle like a girl in high school with an intense crush with my friends about receiving a present from the boy I like. Beck is no boy, but the feelings coursing through my veins right now have me feeling like a lovesick school girl.