Black Cake(45)

“Yes, sir.”

There were others waiting to put their support behind Bunny, people who were charmed by the distance swimmer from the islands, despite the times, despite the rising tensions between residents and immigrants over housing and other privileges. Despite her dark skin. Because they saw that Bunny’s freakish talent and stunning smile would surely add luster to the image of the Commonwealth.

But first, there would be those iron-colored waves to conquer, colder than anything that Bunny had ever experienced, that anomalous drift that kept pulling her off course, the nausea, plenty of nausea, and the deep despair that struck Bunny at times, when she wasn’t sure if she could manage the Channel crossing, all the while knowing that she was not fit to live any other life.





Bright Future





The new Eleanor Douglas had finally stopped looking over her shoulder wherever she went, afraid of being recognized by someone. Her new job was near the port in Edinburgh and her room in a bedsit was not far from the water. She was still walking with a limp when she arrived and she felt that the sea air did her good, even though the water there was so cold, she doubted she could ever swim in it.

Her supervisor at the trading company had been quite supportive. He’d given her a day to settle into her lodgings and learn the bus route. The other clerical workers looked at her shyly, spoke softly, at first. They would have heard her story, she imagined. How she had survived a train crash. How she had lost a friend in the same accident.

This new city was, like London, a jumble of traffic with oversized buses and gray streets and mostly pink-faced people, but it was different, too. There were bursts of color among the buildings. There was that broad, low hill that looked like a huge, green wad of discarded bread. There was that big castle up on a rise, what a place! But there was also a yawning sense of loss, the absence of everyone and everything that had been cut out of her life. She tried not to think of Gibbs and when she did, she whimpered herself to sleep.

Eleanor’s new supervisor told her that she was off to a good start. He said that she was a capable woman, not to mention a very beautiful one. He stayed late at the office to show her the bookkeeping routine. He told her that this would allow her to advance in her position. He told her that she had a bright future ahead of her. And after a while, Eleanor allowed herself to believe it.

Until her supervisor stood too close.

Until he tried to kiss her.

Until he put his hands there.

Until what happened next stunned Eleanor into silence.





Unthinkable





Benny stands up, shaking her head from side to side.

“No, I can’t,” she says, walking out of the room.

Byron leans forward and puts a hand against his forehead. He looks as though he could weep.

Mr. Mitch bows his head. If only Eleanor had been able to tell her family about this before. For as long as people have been mistreating other people, women have been subject to this kind of violence. It’s high time they stop having to feel ashamed about it.

Benny walks down the hallway to her parents’ room. She picks up a small framed photograph that sits on the nightstand by her mother’s side of the bed, a Polaroid that was taken of her mother and father outside a government office on the day of their wedding. She uses her thumb to wipe a bit of dust off the glass. It could have been a photo of any special occasion. Two smiling faces, a pale shift dress, a brown suit, a small bouquet of peonies.

Benny studies her mother’s face. At some point, her mother met her father. At some point, she fell in love again. At some point, Ma was happy, wasn’t she? A person can still be happy after everything that her mother went through, can’t they? Benny needs to believe that they can. No, she needs to know for sure. Benny puts the frame back on the nightstand, walks back down the hallway, and goes back into the living room. Without looking at Byron or Mr. Mitch, Benny sits down and pulls a cushion to her middle.





Mrs. Bennett





B and B, I’m so sorry that you have to hear this but you need to understand everything that has happened. The position at the trading company near Edinburgh had provided me with a refuge, a place where I could rest and begin to dream again. So, you can imagine how I must have felt the following year, when I found myself in an impossible situation. When I found myself forced to run away again.

You grow up thinking that when someone does something terrible to you, you will react, you will fight back, you will run away. I had already proven myself capable of doing this. But this time, it was as if everything had been frozen inside. I truly did not know what to do. And I had no one I could trust enough to turn to.

I went to work the next day thinking that I should say something or do something, but my supervisor acted as though nothing at all had happened. Except that I knew that it had, because he suddenly spent most of his time in his office, almost never in the main room, no longer kept me late to go over the books, never again spoke directly to me, addressed the clerical workers as a group. I should have felt shocked that he could erase everything like that but, the truth is, I was relieved. And I, too, tried to cancel out what had happened. I continued to work, go home, push the chest of drawers in front of my door at night, and lie awake for most of the hours until morning.

One day, while collecting my wages, I told my employer that I would be moving back to England. He immediately promised me a solid reference. Of course, he didn’t ask me to stay. And he didn’t ask me why I was leaving. Because he knew what he had done. He didn’t look up at me as he spoke. He kept his eyes focused on his fingers as he picked through the stack of paychecks on his desk and handed me my envelope.