Bittersweet Memories (Off-Limits #4)(72)

I bite down on my lip and nod against better judgement. “Maybe,” I whisper.

He leans in and presses a kiss against my cheek, startling me. “Thank you, sweetheart. You won’t regret this.”

I pull away from him and put some distance between us, his proximity making me uncomfortable. I thought I loved him, yet within the span of a few weeks, I can barely stand the sight of him. “Don’t misunderstand,” I warn him. “I think we can be friends, and I’m willing to work on that, but that’s all I’m willing to give you.”

He smiles and nods. “We started off as friends, Alanna. Remember? A chance is all I need.”

Ryan smirks and walks away, leaving me standing here wondering what just happened.

I walk out in a daze, annoyed with myself for agreeing to his request when I didn’t truly want to. Before I even reach my desk, Silas calls for me, his tone angry. “In my office. Now,” he barks.

I follow him in, jumping when he slams the door closed behind us. “What did Ryan want?” he asks, pacing in his office.

I can barely look him in the eye. I’m so overwhelmed with guilt that I shouldn’t even be feeling. I don’t owe Silas anything, yet I’m nervous standing here, my heart beating a strange rhythm of fear and guilt.

“He wanted to make up. He asked me for another chance.”

Silas pauses and turns toward me. He walks up to me, and I resist the urge to take a step back. “Will you?” he asks. “Will you give him that chance?” Only a few inches separate us, and unlike with Ryan, I find myself wanting him closer. Silas reaches for me the same way Ryan did, his hand wrapping over my cheek tenderly. His touch feels different, more intimate somehow.

“You can’t,” he adds, his voice pained. “You can’t go back to him, Alanna. Not after what we did.”

I look into his eyes, reveling in the possessiveness he’s showing me. “I won’t. He just wants a chance to be friends again.”

“You know he wants more than that.”

I pull away from Silas and look away. “He’s in all of my favorite memories, Silas. I can’t walk away from him when he’s such a huge part of who I am. It’s just friendship he’s asking for.”

Silas grits his teeth and reaches for a strand of my hair. “What about the memories we created? What about that night when you fell asleep in my arms? What about the way you moaned my name as my cock sank deep inside you? Don’t those memories count?”

I blush and look down at my shoes, flustered. “Silas, that night we fell asleep together was… I’m not sure what that was, but both instances were mistakes.”

“Were they?”

I nod.

He grabs my hand and pulls me toward him, and I stumble into him. Silas buries a hand into my hair and tips my head up as he lowers his lips to mine. “If it was a mistake, then why did it feel so right?” he whispers, his lips hovering over mine. All I need to do is rise to my tiptoes, and I’d get a taste of him. I’ve been craving him ever since the night I try so hard not to remember, when it’s all I can think about.

I inhale shakily and pull away from him. He’s my ex’s older brother and my boss. I can’t go there. Not again. “You just want what you can’t have,” I murmur.

His expression hardens. “Alanna, make no mistake. I will never let you be with my brother. If that means that he learns all about the way I made you come on my floor, then so be it. I have no problem telling him all about how his girlfriend came onto me and begged me to fuck her.”

My eyes widen, a chill running down my spine. “You never wanted me with him in the first place. In your eyes, I was never good enough for your little brother. Is that why you slept with me? To ensure he and I would be over? To prove to yourself how unworthy I am?”

“No,” he tells me. “I fucked you because you asked me to, and because you always should’ve been mine. You made your choice when you came home with me, Alanna. There’s no going back now.”





Chapter Forty-Six





Alanna



I tense when I hear Silas walk into the house and escape into my bedroom before he sees me. I don’t know how to face him after what he said to me in his office.

I fucked you because you asked me to, and because you always should’ve been mine. You made your choice when you came home with me, Alanna. There’s no going back now.

Silas is confusing me, and everything he’s making me feel is terrifying me. He and I… we can’t happen. I can’t be with my boss and my ex’s older brother. The world would mock us. They’d judge me so much harder than they’d ever judge him. I know all of that. I know it, and I still can’t seem to stay away.

I jump at the sound of knocking on my door and look up at my closed bedroom door, imagining Silas standing on the other end of it.

“Alanna?”

I bite down on my lip, wondering whether I’ll get away with pretending I’m not here at all. Seeing Ryan again filled me with a fresh sense of guilt, and I can’t escape it. I’d started to believe that Silas and I really could exist in our own little bubble, but seeing Ryan again forced me to face reality.

“Alanna,” he repeats. “I need you to accompany me to a business event tonight. Open the door. I know you’re in there.”