Big Chicas Don't Cry(24)

“And your dad?”

“We’re not close. He and the rest of my family live in Inland Valley. It’s a suburb about forty miles east of here.”

“I know where it is.”

“Right. Anyway, he’s remarried and has a kid. I hardly see him. I try to go visit my abuelita and grandparents when I can. But it’s been a while.”

“Do you think you and your dad can ever have a real relationship?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. He tries now and then to reach out. So does his wife. But I’m not ready.”

Guilt twisted my stomach so much that I placed one palm on top of it. The years hadn’t dulled that pain, no matter how hard I tried to convince myself that I had valid reasons for staying away from Inland Valley.

“I used to be close with my three cousins when I was younger,” I said, surprising myself with the admission.

“Used to be?”

“We were more like sisters, actually. But then things changed.”

“What happened?” he asked softly.

I shrugged. “I’m not sure. I moved away with my mom, and it wasn’t the same anymore. They weren’t the same.”

The lump in my throat wouldn’t let me say anything else. Not that I could ever find the right words anyway to explain how betrayed I’d felt all those years ago. My dad basically abandoning me was bad enough. But it was so much worse when I realized that Selena, Gracie, and even Erica had broken their promises to always be there for me.

“I’m sorry if I’m pushing too much,” Chris said after a few minutes of silence. “Like I said, I want to help any way I can because I can’t stand seeing you so sad all the time.”

His words surprised me. “I’m not sad all the time. Am I?”

“Well, maybe sad is the wrong word. I just know that your smile has been missing lately. Don’t get me wrong. You’re still as beautiful as ever. But when you smile, I mean really smile, then you’re stunning.”

I didn’t respond right away. How could I? When I finally found my voice, all I could manage was “Chris.”

With the mention of his name, he covered my hands, which had been busy tearing the straw wrapper into shreds. “I need to tell you something, and I don’t want you to say anything until I’m done. Okay?”

No problem, since my voice had vanished again. His dark eyes flashed with emotion, and his jawline clenched. His gaze was so intense that I couldn’t have looked away if I’d tried.

“You know Esteban is like a brother to me, right? I owe him a lot. And the only reason I haven’t said this sooner is because of how much he means to me. But I can’t hold it in anymore. Especially not after everything you told me. What I’ve been wanting to say, what I’m trying to say, is that I think I’m in love with you, Marisol.”

The words still hung in the air between us when my phone vibrated and sang. I didn’t have to look to know who it was.

“Don’t answer it,” he whispered.

“I . . . I have to.” I pulled my hands from underneath his and picked up the phone.

“Hello?” I said, hoping my voice didn’t sound as shaky as I felt.

“Marisol!” Esteban’s voice was so loud that I winced. “I just got back to the office. I dropped my phone in the courthouse parking lot, and the screen shattered. First, I tried to get it repaired at one of those kiosks at the mall, but they told me I’d damaged the home button as well. I’ve been at the Verizon store for the past hour or so getting a new phone. I didn’t get your texts at all, and Clara just told me how long you waited for me. What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

Chris met my eyes. I knew he’d heard most of Esteban’s story. Especially the last part. I lowered my head. “Nothing is wrong. I just thought it would be nice to have lunch together, that’s all.”

“Marisol, you know how busy I am. I can’t always drop everything just because you want me to.”

I bristled at his comment but tried hard to control my expressions and tone in front of Chris. “I know. It’s my fault. I should’ve asked you this morning if it was okay if I stopped by. I’m sorry.”

“Are you home now?”

“No. Actually, I ran into Chris when I was leaving, and he offered to take me to lunch. We’re just down the street at the bistro.”

“Perfect. Come back to the office.”

“Really?” The irritation from earlier softened.

“Yes. You can bring me a sandwich. I haven’t had a chance to eat and only have about twenty minutes before I have to jump on a conference call.”

Disappointment deflated me, and I sank into my seat. “Of course. I’ll be there in a few minutes,” I said and braved a glance at Chris. He wasn’t staring at me anymore.

After I’d flagged down the waitress and ordered Esteban a club sandwich to go, I excused myself and headed to the ladies’ restroom. The annoyance was back, and it had brought its friend—embarrassment. As usual, Esteban had scolded me like a child, and I hadn’t defended myself. But this time, Chris had heard it. I must have sounded so pathetic.

About five minutes later, I walked back to the table. I hoped Chris would’ve been long gone so I could pretend his love confession never happened.