Beyond the Point(82)

She had to admit, she was grateful that he’d come. These days, his socks intermingled with hers in the laundry. Little golden hairs from his beard trimmings were scattered across her bathroom counter. Their lives were intertwined, and since Avery was no longer working on the Special Forces compound, they didn’t even have to keep their relationship much of a secret. She still hadn’t met any of his friends—simply a matter of bad timing, Noah had assured her. In truth, the fact that he’d had a chance to meet Dani and Hannah last Thanksgiving was a miracle, considering that Avery’s closest friends were both now out of the country. And plus, she didn’t care that much about meeting his friends. When Noah was home, she wanted him all to herself.

He flicked the lit cigarette through his window onto the road, then rolled the window up, sealing the car from the sounds of the highway. “Don’t worry. I’m good with parents.” He paused and looked her in the eye. “They’re going to love me. Because you love me.”

Avery shifted in her seat. “Is that some kind of Special Ops trick?” she said. “Force me to confirm or deny?”

“Well you do, don’t you?” He smiled, took her hand.

Staring at his profile—sharp jawline, eyes gray like stone—she wondered what he’d seen in the last three years of his life. She imagined him in a war zone, under the cover of night, jumping from a helicopter into unknown territory. Busting down doors. Waving his weapon in the faces of terrified women. He’d said terrorists always sent their wives out first. Using women as a shield gave the men time to escape.

“I do love you,” she said. “I do.”

Noah looked back at the road as if what she’d just said wasn’t the biggest deal in the entire world. A determined black column of asphalt rushed underneath them at eighty miles per hour. Avery’s mind raced just as fast. Was that all? He was going to make her say it, and then not say it in return?

“Every time we’re apart, I think about you constantly. God. I wish . . . I wish so many things,” he said, breaking the silence. He stared at her evenly, his eyes heavy.

“What do you wish?”

“I wish I wasn’t gone so much, for one,” he said. “And I wish . . . I wish you weren’t so damn young. You were not in my plans, Avery. But here you are. And yeah. I love you, too.”

He spoke as if all of his feelings of love existed against his better judgment. But Avery chose not to hear the sadness in his voice. She refused to see the clouds in his eyes, any more than she paid attention to the storm brewing outside. Instead, she began imagining their wedding. They’d have to wait until Hannah got back from Afghanistan, of course. The bridesmaids would wear blue, or maybe hunter green. Green looked good on everyone, Avery thought, and Dani would just have to get over the fact that she was going to have to wear a dress . . .

“Oh shit,” Avery said, suddenly throwing her hand to her forehead.

“Not exactly the response I thought I’d get, but I can take it.”

“No, yesterday was Dani’s birthday. I just remembered.”

“Dani?”

“Dani McNalley. We stayed with her in Boston,” Avery said, annoyed that Noah had forgotten her friend. Her cell phone was lodged in the bottom of her purse, uncharged. “Great. My phone’s dead. Can I use yours?”

In a snap movement, he quickly put his hand over his phone, like a protective shield. She furrowed her brow in his direction—what was that about?

“Of course,” he said, releasing the phone into her hand. “But we just had a moment. I thought we could, you know. Enjoy it.”

Avery sighed. Noah was right. Dani would understand. Plus, it was the middle of the night in London. What was one more day?

While they’d been talking, thick clouds had rolled in, filling the sky with a dark gray blanket. A crack of lightning followed a low rumble of thunder, and soon, thick drops of rain gathered on Noah’s windshield. The wipers turned on, swishing water out of the way, so Noah could see the road ahead. It was all red lights.

“There must have been an accident,” he said. “Everyone’s slowing down.”

Avery put her head on his shoulder, closed her eyes, and believed the future was opening up before them like an empty four-lane highway. They were in love and they were happy.

That’s how it’s done. You can deceive yourself into believing almost anything, if you want it badly enough.

“TOOK YOU LONG enough.”

Hank Adams came down the stairs, staring at the watch on his wrist, as if he’d been timing his daughter since she’d left North Carolina that morning.

The Adamses’ home hadn’t changed one bit. Beige carpet, dusty oversized light fixtures, a dining room painted red. The phone with its accordion-style stretchy cord was still attached to the wall next to the fridge, right where it had been for more than twenty years. The place looked like it had frozen in time, and it immediately transported Avery back to her childhood. For some reason, she felt like she needed a shower.

“You stop to pee every two hours?” Hank wrapped his arms around his daughter tight, then pulled back to stare at her. “You nearly missed dinner.”

Ignoring his comments, Avery leaned into Noah’s side and wrapped her arm around his waist.

“Dad, this is Noah,” she said, looking between the man that raised her and the man she loved. They couldn’t have looked more different. Noah’s muscles were bulging under the sleeves of his light gray T-shirt, and as he reached his arm out, she watched her father’s eyebrows lift at the sight of so much black ink.