Beyond the Point(34)
“I just don’t understand,” said Hannah, wiping tears from her cheeks. “Why would anyone do something like this?”
“They’re saying it’s al-Qaeda,” Dani explained. “Terrorists.”
“But what do they want?” said Lisa Johnson. “What does killing thousands of innocent people accomplish?”
Avery had chosen a spot on the couch between Dani and Hannah, while the rest of the girls spread out throughout the room—some seated by the fireplace, others on the floor. Five plebes—girls who’d graduated high school a mere four months ago—sat in the corner, white faced. Time to grow up, Avery thought to herself. They would no longer get the liberty of treating their training like a joke. And Avery wished, suddenly, that she hadn’t either.
At the beginning, she’d wanted to come to West Point to prove something: maybe to her father, maybe to herself. But the sound of that body hitting the ground had knocked her motivations completely off balance. Could it be possible that this was the reason she was here? That the universe had conspired to get her to this house, in this moment, with these people?
She shuddered, afraid of what that might mean. Dani was a natural leader. And Hannah was selfless, to a fault.
But what about me? Avery wondered. Am I really cut out for war?
Do I even have a choice?
Wendy sat on an ottoman with her hands resting in her lap. The television was still on, flashing scenes that made Avery cringe. People had walked out of lower Manhattan covered in white dust, their cheeks tear stained, their bodies hunched over in defeat. It was hard to watch. And yet, she couldn’t turn her eyes away from their faces.
Wendy sighed deeply and looked around the room, as if she was trying to imprint the moment into her memory. Then she grabbed the television remote and pressed a button. The screen snapped to black.
“What does Mark think?” Dani asked suddenly.
Wendy’s husband wasn’t home tonight. Tonight, he’d gone to meet with the men’s basketball team, who were likewise in shock. Avery felt oddly jealous of the familiar way Dani had called Colonel Bennett by his first name. She knew the Bennetts had a special bond with Dani after she’d lived here, recovering from surgery. But as Wendy stared across the room, eyes trained to the freckles on Dani’s face, Avery felt a deep pang of sadness that she didn’t have that kind of close-knit relationship anywhere, with anyone. Wendy, with her pearl stud earrings and tattered Bible, had probably heard the gossip. She probably thinks I’m a lost cause.
“He’s in shock. Just like the rest of us,” answered Wendy.
“Does he think we’ll declare war?” Lisa asked timidly.
“I don’t know.”
Wendy paused, her chin quivering. “You know, a lot of people may not understand how people of faith—people like Mark and me—could choose to be in the Army. But what those men did today is evil. It’s pure evil—killing innocent people. And I know that Mark feels honored to be part of a team that wants to rid the world of that kind of evil. It’s an honorable path you girls have chosen. But it won’t be easy.” She dabbed a tissue under her eyes, then cleared her throat. “I’ve been thinking about you girls all day, and how scary this must feel. It’s scary for everyone—it’s scary for me too. But for you—this day will change the course of your lives forever. Maybe in ways we can’t even predict.”
Avery knew that was true. Already, she’d run through the memory of the morning countless times, and when she closed her eyes, the images wouldn’t stop assaulting her brain. She’d never forget the color of the sky—an aggressive blue. The smell of fresh-cut grass in the air. The eerie quiet in the hallways before she turned and saw both buildings collapse, right there on television. Maybe that’s what made a memory powerful. Not that it happened once, but that it happened over and over again on the screen of your mind.
They sat in silence for a long time before Wendy offered to pray. Around the room, all of her teammates had their eyes closed and they were nodding along, wiping their tears and noses.
What did they think all this prayer would change? Avery wondered. Did they actually think someone was listening?
“For some reason, I keep coming back to this story,” Wendy said, once she’d finished her prayer. The pages of her Bible flipped back and forth, thin and worn, like she’d done this a lot. Her finger landed in the middle of a page.
“I’ll paraphrase,” she said, slipping on round tortoiseshell reading glasses. “Jesus was with his disciples and he got word from Mary and Martha that one of his best friends, Lazarus, was sick. And this is what blows my mind. It says, ‘Now Jesus loved Mary and Martha. So, when he heard Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days.’”
Wendy put her glasses down. “Doesn’t that seem strange? He loved them, so he waited? When I think about love, I think of someone jumping on the first plane to come see me when I’m in trouble. But by the time Jesus arrives, Lazarus has already been dead for four days. Four days! He’s already in a tomb; Jesus missed the funeral.” She paused, letting that information sink in.
“And when Jesus finally arrives, Martha doesn’t say, ‘I’m so sorry you missed the funeral.’ No. She says, ‘If only you had been here, none of this would have happened.’ She’s basically saying, ‘You could have prevented this, but you didn’t.’ It’s faith mixed with total confusion. ‘I believe, but I have no idea what you’re doing.’”