Between Hello and Goodbye(6)

My friend’s handsome face morphed into concern. “Hey, come here.” He held out his hand and I sat beside him on the bed. “Tell me.”

“I should want to be made partner, right? I’m good at my job. Great at it, actually.”

“You are.”

“But I can’t tell if I like my job or if I just like the fact that I’m good at it.” I peered up at him. “I’m not like you. You’re taking on the evils of the pharmaceutical world and trying to make it better. What do I do? I sell stuff. I’m really good at making people want things.”

“There’s nothing wrong with what you do, Faith, except how you feel about doing it. If you don’t like it, quit.”

I rested my head on Silas’s strong shoulder. “I think it’s more that the idea of having that much responsibility scares the shit out of me. I’m not used to having people rely on me.”

“You were there for me when I needed you,” Silas said. “Big time.”

“That’s because you’re so damn loveable.”

“So are you.”

“I’m not,” I said. “But I want to be. You and Max are so beautiful together it makes me sick.”

Silas rubbed his chin. “Gee, I think I read that on a Hallmark card once…”

“I want what you have, Silas, but I don’t know how to let someone in. Because what if I do and they don’t like what they see? I don’t. Not lately.”

“And you think going to Hawaii is going to change that?” he asked gently.

“I think being by myself and doing that thing…what do you call it? Where you take a good hard look at yourself?”

Silas smirked. “Introspection?”

“Right. Introspection without distraction. There’s a Hindu temple there and beautiful waterfalls. I’m going to hike and meditate—”

He coughed a laugh.

“Yes, meditate,” I insisted. “Oh, and no men. No one-night stands. No meaningless sex.”

Silas put the back of his hand to my forehead. “You feeling okay? Maybe I should call someone…”

“Ha ha.” I knocked his hand away and rose to continue packing. “I’m serious. I’m going celibate. And not just in Hawaii. I’m going to be my own company for a while.” I made a face. “Did I seriously just say that? Maybe I’m having a stroke…”

My phone on my bed chimed a text. Silas was closer and peered over at it. His handsome face immediately stiffened.

“Viv wants to know if you’re up to going out tonight.”

“Step one to personal betterment…” I grabbed the phone and put it on silent.

“You’re not going to answer?”

“I’m not even going to tell her I’m going to Hawaii until I get there.”

Silas’s blue eyes darkened. “Wise move.”

“Are you being protective of me?” I teased.

“Yes,” he said, not teasing.

“I know you don’t like her—”

“Accurate.”

“—but she’s harmless.”

“Then why aren’t you telling her your plan?”

“Because…I love her to pieces, but she’ll come over with booze to ‘help me pack’ and then talk me out of going in the first place. Or I’ll get plastered and miss my flight. Or she’ll want to come with.”

“That’s probably true. But don’t you think the grown-up thing to do is to be honest with her?”

“Baby steps,” I joked, but Silas didn’t crack a smile. “Look, there isn’t much historical evidence that I possess one iota of self-discipline, but that’s the whole point. I want to do this. Be better. For me, for my career, and for whatever future man is out there waiting for me.”

Silas got to his feet. “Then I support you, one hundred percent.”

“You do?”

He pulled me in for a hug. “Of course, I do. You’re amazing, Faith. You can do whatever you set your mind to.”

“Thank you, Si.”

I rested my head against his chest, letting his belief in me seep in.

I was going to need it.





Chapter Two



A day and a half after my pep talk from Silas, I was in the lush green forests of Kauai, walking the Ho’opi’i Falls Trail. There was a beautiful waterfall midway through the two-mile hike, and it ended with another larger waterfall that fed into a beautiful pool. I’d learned immediately that they didn’t call Kauai “the Garden Isle” for nothing. It rained constantly and the trail was slick from a recent deluge.

I hated mud.

Unless I was paying someone to smear it on my skin in an expensive spa, no thanks. Now, my legs were covered to the knees, and mud squelched between my toes. I cursed the makers of my allegedly “all terrain” sandals. Instead of the serene, self-explorative start to my trip, I’d spent my time slipping and sliding over rocks and tree roots. But I turned a fallen branch into a walking stick and heroically persevered.

Finally, the sound of rushing water from the second of the two waterfalls could be heard through the forest ahead.

“Just breathe. Almost there,” I told myself, then let out a squeal as my feet slipped in different directions like a newborn deer. I landed with a hard thud on my ass, mud splattering all over my designer athletic pants. “Dammit.”