Between Commitment and Betrayal (Hardy Billionaire Brothers, #1)(44)

And even still, my heart wanted more of it. I wanted him commanding me around, I wanted the change in my life more than I’d wanted anything in a long time. But to want was to hope and to hope was to fear, and I’d seen how hope could be ripped away.

I’d lost the hope of forging a meaningful relationship with my father.

Lost the hope of a future I’d thought would last with my ex.

I’d lost hope in who I was and what I’d become too.

When Declan stopped the car in front of the guesthouse, I knew this had to be the end.

“I’ve already figured out plans for tomorrow. I’m going to Clara’s bakery first thing, and it’ll be nice to walk, so don’t worry about me.”

He studied me, his vivid eyes narrowing. “You always do what you plan, don’t you?”

“It relieves anxiety for me.” I shrugged.

“You can’t plan everything.” His voice came out low. Declan shifted and changed plans when he wanted, indulged in all he desired, and lived a life I couldn’t.

“Yes, I’m aware.” I needed to plan much better than I had in the past. I shifted in my seat. “But I’m going to try.”

We let the silence bounce between us, louder than words in the night. “We’re going to be more than a friendly commitment, Everly. You can’t avoid that now. This relationship is changing.”

I gripped my duffel bag at his words. “What happens when we don’t want a relationship anymore, then? Or even better, what happens when everyone finds out?”

“They haven’t yet, have they? Let’s keep taking it one day at a time.”

“I like to plan ten steps ahead,” I admitted.

“You can’t live everything all planned out, thinking through every scenario. You’ll miss half the moments that are made through spontaneous adventure. You’re so buttoned-up with plans, I’m fucking itching to unbutton you half the time.”

Was I really that obvious? “You don’t know if I’m like that or not—”

“Coffee twenty minutes before you leave for the day, you’re always on time, no breakfast, color-coordinated weekdays—red, white, blue, green, black. Blue’s the best on you, and you should wear it more than one damn day a week. And your lights are normally out by ten. That schedule says a lot about you.”

Even if it was boring, my schedule kept me calm, ready for all the outcomes, and prepared to take what life threw at me. “Right. Well, sorry. I don’t bring many surprises.”

He chuckled darkly. “You’re full of surprises, Everly. Especially with how you can bend over a—”

“Declan!” I cut him off. “Don’t you dare. Oh my God.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Come with me tomorrow.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea. We need to stop—”

“I have an appointment,” he murmured, and then he nodded. “You’re coming.”

“I work, Declan.”

“Don’t worry about working tomorrow. You’ll still be paid, and I’ll switch the schedule around.”

Just like that. He would cover my wages and take care of my schedule. He maneuvered lives that fast. As I stared up at his big house, I shook my head. “No. Hanging out and fucking in a gym is not— We can’t have a marriage with benefits when it’s supposed to be one of convenience, Declan.”

“Why the hell not?”

He followed my gaze, but his car didn’t creep up toward his home. He was parked in front of my place maybe because I never asked to go to his and always turned him down when he invited me.

Or maybe it was because we’d fucked, not made love. Maybe this was still our boundary even if we didn’t say it. It had to be, right? I couldn’t live in his world, not with my past, and he couldn’t be a part of mine. I belonged here, and he had to belong up there.

Sure, he could ask me to change, to belong, to be beside him, but I didn’t like change, didn’t trust it anymore.

“Good night, Declan.” I pulled at my car door handle and hopped out before he could stop me.

As I hurried away though, I heard his window roll down and he called out, “Everly?”

I turned to glance back at him in his stupidly expensive car, and he smirked and nodded toward me. “My name on your back looks best.”

With that, he disappeared up the long driveway without so much as a “good night.”

I sat in silence later, tying together another bracelet while my thoughts raced.

My phone beeped with a text from Wes but I couldn’t bring myself to respond back to him. Not when I was trying my best to instead push away the thoughts of my freaking husband’s hands on me, trying to forget how he made me feel, trying to tell myself I could never truly be with a man like him. I was from a small town where my ex had made it too hard for me to even stay because of the stories that had been spread about me.

How would I make it here, tied to any of these larger-than-life athletes? The stories would be bigger, the spread wider, and the heartbreak even more destructive.





18




EVERLY





THE NEXT MORNING, just as the sun broke over the horizon, there was a knock at my door.