Best Kept Secrets(79)

She turned to face him, but he was staring at nothing.

"Angus and Junior were the only ones out of the whole

goddamn town who came to the funeral. We didn't even hold

it in a church or the funeral home, just at the grave site.

Angus went back to work. Junior returned to school so he

wouldn't miss a biology test. I went home.

"Not long after lunch, Celina came to my house. She had

skipped school just to come and be with me. She knew I'd

feel low, even though I hated the son of a bitch while he was

alive. We lay down together on my bed and stayed there until

it got dark. She knew if she didn't go home, her mother I would get worried. She cried for me because I couldn't." ; When he stopped speaking, there was a ponderous silence

in the room. Alex was still standing by the window, motionless

and transfixed by his story. Her chest hurt with heartache

for the lonely young man he'd been.

"Was that the first time you made love to Celina?"

He looked straight at her, got out of his chair, and approached

her. "Since you broached the subject of love lives,

I how's yours?"

The tension snapped, as did her temper. "Why don't you

stop beating around the bush and come right out and ask?"

"Okay," he sneered. "Has Junior made it into your pants

yet?"

"You bastard."

"Has he?"

"No!"

"I'll bet he's tried. He always tries." His laugh was deep

and stirring. "Bingo." He raised his hand and stroked her

cheek with the backs of his fingers. "You're blushing, Counselor."

She swatted his hand aside. "Go to hell."

She was furious with herself for blushing like a schoolgirl

in front of him. It was none of his business who she slept





with. What bothered her most, however, was that he didn't

seem to care. If she had to describe that glint in his eyes she

would call it amusement, possibly contempt, but certainly

not jealousy.

To retaliate, she asked suddenly, "What did you and Celina

quarrel about?"

"Celina and I? When?"

"The spring of your junior year. Why did she go to El

Paso for the summer and start dating my father?"

"Maybe she needed a change of scenery," he said flippantly.

"Did you know how much your best friend loved her?"

His goading grin vanished. "Did Junior tell you that?"

"I knew before he told me. Did you know, at the time,

that he loved her?"

He rolled his shoulders forward in a semblance of a shrug.

"Nearly every guy in school--"

"I'm not talking about infatuation with a popular girl,

Reede." She grabbed his shirtsleeve to show just how important

this was to her. ' 'Did you know how Junior felt about

her?"

"What if I did?"

"He said you would have killed him if he'd tried anything

with her. He said you would have killed them both if they

had betrayed you."

"A figure of speech."

"That's what Junior said, too, but I don't think so," she

said evenly. "There were a lot of passions stirring. Your

relationships with each other were overlapping and complex."

"Whose relationships?"

"You and my mother loved each other, but you both loved

Junior, too. Wasn't it a love triangle in the strictest sense of

the word?"

"What the hell are you talking about? Do you think Junior

and I are a couple of queers?"

Unexpectedly, he grabbed her hand and flattened it against



Jus fly. "Feel that, baby? It's been hard more than it's been

soft, but it's never been hard for a fag."

Stunned and shaken, she pried her hand away, subconsciously

rubbing the palm of it against her thigh, as though

it had been branded. "You have a redneck mentality, Sheriff

Lambert," she said, supremely agitated. "I think you and

Junior love each other the way Indian blood brothers do. But

you're competitive, too."

"I don't compete with Junior."

"Maybe not consciously, but other people have pitted you

against each other. And guess which one of you always came

out on top? You. That bothered you. It still does."

"Is this more of your psychological bullshit?"

"It's not just my opinion. Stacey mentioned it the other

night, and not at my prompting. She said people always

compared the two of you, and that Junior always came in

second."

"I can't help what people think."

"Your competitiveness came to a head over Celina, didn't

it?"

"Why ask me? You've got all the answers."

"You had the edge there, too. Junior wanted to be Celina's

lover, but you actually were."