Bennett Mafia(98)

A shiver went down my spine.

That was my Kai too, but he scared me.

He sighed, nuzzling my cheek before lifting his head. “We have to go. I have to go. We have some time. You can stay in here, if you want. For a few more minutes.”

“When are you taking him?”

“Soon.”

I didn’t know how it was going to go down, and as Kai slipped out after squeezing my hand, everything in me yearned to pull him back in.

I yearned to keep him with me in this pocket of time, because when I left, there was no going back.

I’d come with the intention of hurting my father. I’d made my decision earlier. I was going to stick with it, but almost a lifetime could separate me from deciding that and now doing it. I was on the precipice. And if I failed, Kai would be there. Hell. Kai would do it anyway. He was half doing it for me; I knew that. And I wouldn’t really have to participate, but I was here.

In my old life, you had a moral decision in times like this.

If you see what’s going to happen and stand aside, you’re just as guilty. To be innocent, you must step in, you must try to help stop it. I was not going to do that this time. So I was a part of it all.

I was guilty. It didn’t matter if I pulled the trigger or not. His blood would be on me. But there was more going on. Here I was with Kai. If I went with this, I was choosing him.

But that decision had already been made too.

Hadn’t it?

We still hadn’t finished our argument. I’d said those words to him, calling him on loving me and not knowing how to handle it. His answer had been to leave.

He left. Then I left. Then he made me climax so fucking hard I couldn’t stand afterward. So I still had some things to sort out.

Grabbing a chair, I sank down onto it.

That’s when I heard him. My father’s voice from outside.

He was laughing, boasting. It was funny how it hadn’t changed, even since I was twelve. That sound still made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. He made my stomach roll over in disgust just as he always had.

When I’d heard him bark orders in the house. When something made him furious at a meal—if there wasn’t enough salt or he suddenly decided we needed ketchup even though he’d banned it, saying it was “beneath his palate.” The way he’d sounded when he had colleagues over, how he spoke to my mother in a way that forced her to be nice, be polite, and not say a damn word. She’d better fucking smile or she wouldn’t be able to walk the next day.

From his beating.

His laugh rolled over me, and I felt nausea moving up my throat. It was the same laugh he’d used when I’d heard him bring a woman to the house. He’d taken her to the basement, and I knew there were others. My mom knew too.

I’d been nine, but I knew what he was doing with her.

My mom.

I hadn’t seen her in so long. It was three years ago that I saw her for the States’ Thanksgiving Day. It was one holiday we both enjoyed, and that day was special to me. She had met someone a year after leaving my father. It’d seemed quick to me, because that’s when I’d left too, but I had no place for any emotions other than happiness that we were both alive. Safe.

She had someone who loved her, protected her, and while he didn’t know about her past, I also knew what else she was trying to tell me.

She was going to start over. I never told anyone, but that’s why I became a Hider.

I agreed to the separation from her because I wanted her to start over. I didn’t want my face to be a reminder of her past, of the torture he had put her through, and I found a new purpose in life.

I was better. I was alive. She was alive.

She’d had two more children, a boy and girl. I’d seen their pictures. Blade kept track of them for me. Both were in sports, getting top scores in their years. I was happy for them.

I was proud.

They were close to the age I’d been when I went to Hillcrest. Somehow, knowing I was about to face my father, that hit me hard. It sat with me, giving me a sense of life’s brevity.

I’d been thirteen when I thought my mother died, fourteen when I found out she was alive, and still fourteen when I lost her again. All because of him.

And suddenly, here I was now, burning with renewed loathing.





CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR


I stepped out of the tent, and a guard nodded for me to move a few steps behind a podium.

“You okay?” Kai was next to me in a heartbeat, his hand finding my elbow.

I looked over his face. He was tired. He was tense, but he was alert. I recognized the other look in his eyes. He was hunting. He was my father’s predator, and I swear, a part of my heart swelled, though it shouldn’t have.

I nodded, feeling everything from my chest down go numb. I no longer wanted to feel. “I’m good.” I nodded again, firming my shoulders, raising my chin. “I’m ready.”

He stared at me, a full five beats before his hand fell to mine. “Good.” He moved to stand beside me, facing where my father stood.

He was talking to another couple, an older man and woman. My cousin was beside him, her arm around his waist, and his hand spread over her back. It slid down, cupping her ass, and remained there. She pressed closer to his side, touching his chest and tilting her head back for a laugh.

This was another world.