Benediction (Plainsong #3)(48)

Well then, said Alene.

And she took her clothes off too. She was pale and thin, a little bony, a little sallow, with small breasts and thin arms and thin thighs and graying hair below. She walked over to the tank and splashed herself and climbed in and squatted down and rose up streaming. Oh Jesus! God bless us! Oh come in, Mother. Alice, come on.

Alice removed her clothes then. She had a girl’s flat chest and flat stomach, the points of her backbone showed and her shoulder blades were sharp edged and she had no hair there yet, her legs were tanned up to her thighs from wearing shorts and her arms were tanned. She went to the stock tank and dipped her fingers in the water. Lorraine and Alene held out their hands to her and she stepped over into the cold water and caught her breath.

Honey, Lorraine said, go ahead and yell. You have to.

Oh Jesus, she said softly.

They laughed. Yes, Lorraine said. But yell this time. Yell.

Oh Jesus. Son of a bitch.

They laughed again. Where in the world did you learn that?

At school.

Well. That’s the way then. Let it out. Yell now.

She yelled a little bit.

That’s better.

Now they looked at Willa still outside the tank.

Mother, come on now. You must.

Oh. I don’t know.

Yes. Come on.

Well. Damnation. All right, then.

She took her glasses off and set them on a chair and removed her dress and removed her bra and her white old lady’s underwear, she was flat chested with soft pale flaps for breasts, the nipples pointing down, and had a sagging stomach and wide soft hips folded a little and loose thighs and almost no hair below her stomach, almost as unhaired in her old age as Alice was in her youth, and she came over and they held out their hands to her, and she sat sideways on the rim and swung her legs over. Mercy heavens! she cried. Mercy! She cupped water onto her face and chest. Lord! I’m an old woman and I’ve never been naked outdoors before. Look at me. Have you, Alene?

No, Mother.

At least you didn’t wait till you were this old.

Alene leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek. We’re out here now, Mother.

Lorraine pushed off and swung her arms and swam a few strokes across the tank, the water was deep enough, and crossed to the water pipe. She stood up half out of the water gleaming wet and spun around making a wave with her cupped hands and then came swimming back. She stood up again. Then without a word Willa just lay out and began a surprising backstroke that made her appear to be a kind of delicate white bird in the water and went a little ways across the tank and stood up. Her hair had come loose from its pins and was long and full and shiny, then she floated back to them and stood again.

Your hair is so beautiful, Lorraine said.

Oh. Thank you. I’ve always been too vain about my hair. I’m afraid I still am.

It’s beautiful, Mother. I’ve always wished I had your hair instead of mine.

But you’ve always been so pretty, dear. So tall and graceful.

Oh no. That’s not true.

It is, dear.

Then Lorraine said, Alice, do you know how to swim?

No.

Can you float?

I don’t know how.

It’s time to learn. Come out here into the middle. Alene, will you help?

The two women held her as she lay back.

Now just breathe. And spread your arms out.

When she began to sink they lifted her up, and after a while she was able to stay up and they stepped back and she lay out on the water, half-submerged, her blue eyes open to the blue sky.

After a time they got out and sat in the lawn chairs, facing the sun. It was past middle of the afternoon now. The women put on their sunglasses and drank the chilled wine that had been set in the tank and gave Alice a little to taste. They sat naked, drying in the sun. Willa’s long white hair hung down over the chair back.

Then some of the black cows in the pasture began to come cautiously up to drink. The cattle snorted and switched their tails, looking at the women, until one of the older cows came up and halted and advanced and came on, still watching them, and stepped heavily up onto the concrete and shoved at the stock water with her black rubbery muzzle and drank and afterward stood dripping, looking at them, and drank again. Then the other cattle came up and drank, their young black calves with them.

The women and the girl watched one nearby cow with a calf beside her.

That calf will want to eat when they go back out to the pasture, Willa said. You know how they butt and pull on their mothers.

Yes, but it’s nice to nurse, Lorraine said. You feel the world might be all right then. And you can feel it down inside you too.

What if you had to be butted like they do? Willa said. What if you were a milk cow with that great bag hanging down? Think of that between your legs, the way milk cows have to trot with that full bag.

I know, Lorraine said. But think of a man washing your tits with warm soapy water, fondling you twice a day.

She and Alene laughed.

Or a woman, Alene said. Women milk cows too.

Or a woman, Lorraine said.

Now you’re going to embarrass Alice and me, Willa said.

Are you embarrassed, Alice?

No.

No. She’s not embarrassed.

I’m going to get back in, Alice said.

The women watched her move to the tank, this young thin quiet girl, naked out in the country in the broad daylight. The cows looked at her. She climbed into the tank and lay out flat and floated and paddled her feet and came to the other side and stood. A brief gust of wind rose up, the water spouted from the pipe, and she turned her head and drank.