Beneath This Man (This Man, #2)(158)

‘Ava, please!’ he pleads, as I push his grabbing hands from me. I need to get out of here.

I turn, knocking John out of the way, and run in blind shock down the corridor, emerging into the massive summer room. As I hurry through, I’m vaguely aware of shocked gasps, and I turn to see Jesse and John in pursuit of me. I slap my hand over my mouth as I feel the bile rising in my throat. Oh God, I’m going to throw up.

I hurtle through the toilet door and into a cubicle, slamming the door behind me. I just make it over the bowl and then proceed to evacuate the contents of my stomach on loud, painful retches, my face wet with sweat and tears. I’m in the lowest level of hell and once again, trapped in a f*cking cubicle with nowhere to go.

The sound of the toilet door crashing into the tiled wall rings out around the ladies’ washroom. ‘Ava!’ He bangs on the door behind me, and I sink to my bum as I feel another round of violent heaves coming on. ‘Ava! Open the door!’

I can’t answer him through my persistent retching, even if I wanted to. What the hell am I supposed to say? I’ve just watched him accept a thrashing from a woman I despise – a woman who I know wants Jesse and hates me. My imagination doesn’t stretch to this kind of callousness. I throw up again and fumble for some toilet paper to wipe my mouth as the door continues to bang behind me.

‘Please,’ he begs, and a dull thud meets the door. I know it’s his forehead. ‘Ava, please, open the door.’

My tears gather force again at the sound of him begging. I can’t possibly look into the eyes of the man I love knowing he has done this to himself.

‘Who let her in?’ His tone has turned fierce, and he punches the door. ‘Fuck! Who the f*cking hell let her in?’

‘Jesse, I didn’t let her in. I would never have let her in.’ John’s low hum is soothing. I want to jump to his defense. He didn’t let me in. John’s fretful voice, his attempts to stop me from entering Jesse’s office, it all brings me to one conclusion. He didn’t text me. He didn’t open the gates. She’s done it again. My strong, dominate man having himself beaten? I’ve underestimated her hatred of me. I’ve trodden on some really fancy, red polished toes. She has more than succeeded in her attempts to shock me, but all of this doesn’t detract from the fact that Jesse was actively, willingly, partaking in the appalling activity. Why?

‘What’s going on?’ The familiar sound of Kate’s voice gives me hope of escaping this horror scene. ‘Fuck! Jesse, what the hell has happened to your back?’

‘Nothing!’ he snaps.

‘Don’t f*cking talk to me like that. Where’s Ava? What the hell is going on? Ava?’ She calls my name, and I’m desperate to answer her, but I know if I open the door, Jesse will be in. I can’t see him.

‘She’s in there. She won’t come out. Ava?’ he calls. ‘Please, Kate, get her out.’ He bangs the door again. He sounds desperate and frantic.

‘Hey! Tell me why she is locked in there and why you’re out here bleeding all over the place?’ Kate’s voice is fierce.

‘Ava walked in on something she shouldn’t have seen. She’s freaked out. I need to see her.’ His talking is strained through his heavy breathing.

I want to scream exactly why I’ve freaked out, but I’m attacked by another succession of retches, rendering me incapable of uttering any words.

‘If you’ve f*cked her over, Jesse!’ Kate shouts. ‘Ava?’

He’s f*cked me over all right, but not in the way she is thinking. It’s almost worse. It is worse.

‘No!’ Jesse’s voice is full of defense. ‘It’s not like that!’

‘Well, what is it like then? She’s in there throwing up. Ava?’ The subtle knock of Kate’s fist starts drumming on the door. ‘Ava, come on. Open the door.’

‘Ava!’ Jesse shouts frantically.

‘Jesse, just go.’ Kate yells.

‘No!’

‘She’s obviously not going to come out with you here. Hey, big guy. Get him out of here.’

‘Jesse?’ John rumbles, and I pray that Jesse listens to him and leaves. I’m not going anywhere with him out there. ‘Let’s get you sorted out, you stupid mother f*cker.’

I sit with my head in my hands while I listen to the back and forth coaxing of Jesse from the bathroom.

I eventually hear the door open and close again and then Kate’s subtle knocking on the door. ‘Ava, he’s gone.’ Kate assures me through the door. I lift up and slide the lock across to let my friend into the toilet with me. She pushes through the small gap and screws her nose up at the sight of the vomit spattered bowl. ‘What the hell is going on?’ She crouches on the other side of the cubicle so we’re knee to knee.

I sniffle and blow my nose on some tissue. My mouth tastes dreadful. I take a few controlled breaths through my sobs and try to steady my vocal cords. ‘He had himself whipped.’ I manage. The sound of them words has my chucking my head back over the bowl, but all I’m achieving is choking myself on dry heaves. I feel Kate’s palm rubbing at my back.

‘He what?’

I push myself away from the toilet and find Kate’s jaw dropped disbelievingly. Who would believe it? But she saw the evidence plain and clear and plastered all over Jesse’s back. ‘I walked in on him being whipped by Sarah.’