Behind Closed Doors(23)
When it was time for us to approach the desk, Jack was so utterly charming to the hostess, explaining we were newly-weds and that we had had a disastrous wedding day because our bridesmaid, who had Down’s syndrome, had fallen down the stairs and broken her leg, that we were upgraded to first class. But it didn’t make me feel any better—if anything, the fact that he had used Millie’s condition to gain sympathy disgusted me. The old Jack would never have done such a thing and the thought of spending the next two weeks with someone who had become a virtual stranger was terrifying. Yet the alternative—telling Jack I didn’t want to go to Thailand with him—was equally so. As we went through passport control, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was making the biggest mistake of my life.
I felt even more confused in the departure lounge when Jack sat and read the paper with his arm draped around my shoulders as if he didn’t have a care in the world. I refused champagne when it was offered to us, hoping Jack would understand that I wasn’t in the mood for a celebration. But he accepted a glass readily, seemingly unaffected by the chasm that now existed between us. I tried to tell myself that what had happened between us was nothing more than a lovers’ tiff, a momentary blip on the path to a long and happy marriage, but I knew it was more serious than that. Desperate to understand where we had gone wrong, I went over everything that had happened since I’d stepped out of the bathroom less than twenty-four hours earlier, and when I remembered the panicked messages I’d left on his phone, I began to wonder if I was the one in the wrong. But I knew I wasn’t, I knew it was Jack’s fault, it was just that I was so tired I couldn’t work out why. Suddenly, I couldn’t wait to be on the plane, hoping that after being pampered for fourteen hours I would arrive in Thailand in a better frame of mind.
Because I had also refused to eat anything in the departure lounge, I was desperately hungry by the time we boarded, as I’d been too upset to eat breakfast. Jack was solicitous as we settled into our seats, making sure I had everything I needed, and my mood began to lift slightly. As I began to relax, I could feel my eyes closing.
‘Tired?’ Jack asked.
‘Yes.’ I nodded. ‘And very hungry. If I fall asleep could you wake me for dinner?’
‘Of course.’
I was gone before the plane had even taken off. When I eventually opened my eyes again, the cabin was in darkness and everyone seemed to be sleeping. Only Jack was awake, reading the newspaper.
I looked at him in dismay. ‘I thought I asked you to wake me for dinner?’
‘I thought it better not to disturb you. But don’t worry, they’ll be serving breakfast in a couple of hours.’
‘I can’t wait a couple of hours; I haven’t eaten since yesterday!’
‘Then ask one of hostesses to bring you something.’
I stared at him over the divide between us. In our other life, before we’d got married, he would have rung for the hostess himself. Where had the perfect gentleman I’d thought him to be gone? Had it all been a facade, had he covered his true self with a cloak of geniality and good humour to impress me? Aware of my eyes on him, he put down his paper.
‘Who are you, Jack?’ I asked quietly.
‘Your husband,’ he said. ‘I am your husband.’ Taking my hand in his, he raised it to his lips and kissed it. ‘For better or for worse. In sickness and in health. Till death do us part.’ Letting go of my hand, he pushed the button, summoning the hostess. She came immediately.
‘Could you bring my wife something to eat, please? She missed dinner, I’m afraid.’
‘Certainly, sir,’ she smiled.
‘There,’ said Jack, once she’d left. ‘Happy?’ He turned back towards his newspaper and I was glad he couldn’t see the tears of pathetic gratitude that had pricked my eyes. When my food was brought, I ate it quickly and, not particularly wanting to talk to Jack, I slept until we began our descent into Bangkok.
Jack had insisted on making all the arrangements for our honeymoon because he wanted it to be a surprise for me. He had already been to Thailand several times and knew the best places to stay, so, even though I had hinted heavily about Koh Samui, I had little idea of where we were actually going. I couldn’t help feeling disappointed when, rather than head for domestic departures, Jack led me towards the taxi rank. Soon, we were on our way into the centre of Bangkok and I couldn’t help feeling excited by the hustle and bustle of the city, although a little appalled at the noise. When the taxi slowed down in front of a hotel called The Golden Temple, my spirits lifted even more as it was one of the most beautiful hotels I had ever seen. But, instead of coming to a stop, the taxi continued on its way until we arrived in front of a good but less luxurious hotel three hundred metres further down the road. The lobby was better than its facade, but when we arrived in our room and found the bathroom to be so small that Jack would have trouble using the shower, I fully expected him to turn around and leave at once.
‘Perfect,’ he said, taking off his jacket and hanging it in the wardrobe. ‘This will do nicely.’
‘Jack, you can’t be serious.’ I looked around the room. ‘Surely we can do better than this?’
‘It’s time to wake up, Grace.’
He looked so solemn I wondered why it hadn’t occurred to me that he might have lost his job, and the more I thought about it the more I realised that I had found the perfect explanation for his sudden change of character. If he had been told sometime on Friday evening, I reasoned, my mind darting back and forth as I tried to work it out, he had probably gone back to the office on Saturday, while I was having my bath, to try to sort things out with the other partners before we left on honeymoon. Of course he wouldn’t have wanted to tell me during our wedding, of course my visit to Millie must have seemed paltry compared to what he was going through! No wonder he had wanted to wait until we were in Thailand to tell me what had happened and, as he had obviously changed our hotel reservation for something cheaper, I prepared myself to hear that he hadn’t managed to negotiate his job back.