Before She Knew Him(48)

After dinner that night—Mira’s amazing lentil soup—Matthew finally relaxed, realizing that if either the police or Lloyd was going to come knocking on the door, they’d have done it already. Hen hadn’t told anyone about his visit. That didn’t mean that she would agree to meet with him, but at least it meant she was keeping it to herself.

They had a secret, the two of them, and there was no better way to start a friendship than with a secret.



Matthew didn’t hear from Hen that evening or the next day. Mira left early Monday morning to catch her flight, and Matthew went to school.

Michelle, after taking a week off from teaching, was returning to Sussex Hall. There was an early-morning all-staff meeting before she arrived, during which Donald Hoogheem, the head of the history department, told everyone that Michelle had indicated that she’d prefer to not talk about the death of her boyfriend. She’d rather spend her time catching up on the work she’d missed.

Matthew assumed he was exempt from that particular request, especially since he and Michelle had already talked on the phone. He wasn’t surprised when Michelle came by his classroom at the end of the day, closing the door behind her after she entered.

“What are people saying?” she asked.

“Nothing, really. Donald got us all together this morning before you got here and told us not to bring it up with you.”

Michelle rapidly shook her head, said, “Arrgh, I don’t know if that was the right choice. I just didn’t want to have to explain to everyone that we weren’t going out anymore, that I know nothing about what happened to him, that—”

“What did happen to him? Have they made an arrest?”

“I haven’t heard anything. They did question me, but it was for all of about fifteen minutes, just asking me about our relationship and if he had any enemies . . . I told you this already, didn’t I?”

“You did, but that’s okay.”

“Well, that’s the last I heard from them. My guess is he pissed off some guy at the bar by hitting on his girlfriend.”

“He was a bad guy, you know that,” Matthew said, trying to make her feel better.

Instead, she frowned, then her lower lip trembled and she started to cry. Matthew went to her, guided her to a chair, and they both sat.

When she could finally talk, she said, “I know that he was bad for me, but I’m not sure that means he was a bad man.”

“People are defined by their actions. What they do is who they are.”

“I know. I’m glad he’s not going to be in my life, but I’m still upset about what happened to him. He was so young.”

Matthew knew when to be quiet, and he didn’t say anything. After a moment, Michelle took a deep breath and said, “I think my students know what happened to me. No one—not even Ben Gimbel—gave me a hard time.”

“Silver lining,” Matthew said, and Michelle smiled.

“The other thing is that suddenly I have nothing to do in my life.” Michelle sat up straight. “When I was with Scott, then either I was with him, or else he was away and I was obsessing about him, wondering if he was cheating on me. And for the twenty-four hours after we’d broken up, before I heard he was dead, I was just as obsessed, wondering whether I did the right thing, if he missed me, if he was already with someone else. But now . . . now I have nothing. It’s a huge hole.”

“You’ll meet someone else,” Matthew said.

“Will I?”

“Eventually.”

She laughed, loudly this time. “The way you said that did not sound too convincing. I do have a stalker, though. That’s something.”

“What do you mean?”

“I got an email last night from some guy saying how sorry he was about my loss, and how he saw a picture of me and was thinking of me. How creepy is that?”

“Who was the guy?”

“I don’t know. Some guy. Richard, he said his name was.”

Matthew’s chest tightened, and he tried not to show it on his face. “Did you write him back?”

“God, no. I ignored it.”

“Did you tell the police about it?”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. Maybe he had something to do with what happened to Scott.”

“I don’t think so. I mean, I think he just read an article, and saw my name, and then googled me, and—”

“How’d he get your email?”

“It was my Sussex Hall email. If you google my name, it comes up that I work here. You okay, Matthew?”

“Yes, sorry. I was just worrying, that’s all, that this guy would email you out of the blue.”

“I’m a famous victim.” Michelle laughed. “The creepy men will all come calling. Maybe one of them will be husband material.”

“Well, don’t write him back.”

“I won’t,” she said, then added, “My protector,” and blushed.



Matthew contacted his brother that night. He thought about asking him over sometime that week since Mira was away, but as soon as he heard his voice, he came out and asked him. “You didn’t by any chance write an email to Michelle Brine, did you?”

“Who?” Richard said.