Before Jamaica Lane (On Dublin Street, #3)(80)

I had to disagree. ‘It means a lot. Pity you can’t drink, because this is a reason to get shit-faced.’ I glanced over at Hannah. ‘Sorry, Hannah.’

‘Sorry for saying “shit-faced” or sorry because I can’t get drunk with you?’

Ellie snorted. ‘I’m so glad Mum isn’t in the room.’

An Italian woman sang a lively, frolicking tune through the speakers as the waiter poured red wine into the glasses on the table before me and Ben. We’d met at D’Alessandro’s since we both loved it so much and also because it offered us a familiarity that I imagined we both hoped would help with any first-date nerves.

Ben was wearing a purple shirt and dress pants and he looked very handsome. It occurred to me that I’d never seen him wear black – and that only occurred to me because it was Nate’s favorite color. Black or dark red. Nate had looked good in both.

‘I have to admit,’ Ben said as the waiter walked away, ‘I’ve wanted to ask you out for months.’

‘Really?’ I asked incredulously, and then immediately scolded myself as I heard Nate’s voice tutting at me for my lack of confidence. ‘I mean … really?’ I asked again, going for nonchalant this time.

It made Ben smile. ‘Really. But … you didn’t seem that interested before …’

‘I’m very focused at work,’ I lied. ‘Sometimes I don’t even realize someone is flirting with me because my head is somewhere else.’

He nodded as if that made sense. ‘True. You were different when we met here.’

I smiled in answer, my eyes dropping to my plate because I couldn’t think of anything to say to that.

‘You seem distracted.’

‘I’m not,’ I lied again.

‘I thought maybe the other reason you were resistant was because there was someone else?’

Tensing, I lifted my eyes to meet his. ‘There was.’

‘How recently?’

I gave him a wry, unhappy smile. ‘This is not how I wanted to start this date, but you’re right … I’m distracted. I just got out of something. Something really serious, and I don’t know if I’m ready to … I mean I know I should be. And you should know that I like you, I do, I just –’

‘Olivia.’ He leaned across the table and took my trembling hand into his, his beautiful green eyes sincere. ‘I get it. I’ve been there.’ He sat back, his smile patient. ‘Let’s just enjoy our meal together. Forget about this being a date. This is just two people enjoying a good meal and conversation.’

And so that’s what we did, and afterward, once we’d split the bill (I insisted, since it wasn’t a date), Ben walked me around the corner to my apartment. On the sidewalk he pressed a kiss to my cheek and said, ‘I like you, Olivia. So when you’re ready … give me a call.’

23

Staring at the rolling credits, I sat in the now-lit-up movie theater as my fellow moviegoers got up and shuffled out of the screening.

I’d chosen a comedy because fake laughing at fake stuff helped a little.

It had been three weeks since I’d last seen Nate, and I still hadn’t heard from him. He’d definitely taken it to heart when I told him to never come back. My friends, with the exception of Jo, did a good job of not mentioning him, although his absence when we went out for drinks was felt by all. It made me feel terrible. Nate was Cam, Adam, and Braden’s friend, and now whenever I was around they couldn’t hang out with him. Not that Nate was up to it apparently. According to Jo, anyway. She would casually let information slip into our conversations every now and then. Cam was worried about Nate. He hadn’t seen much of him lately with the exception of judo class. At their last session Nate had been so intense, bordering on outright aggressive, that their teacher had thrown him out of the class by suggesting he walk off whatever was bothering him.

I didn’t want to know this. It would be much easier for me to pretend that Nate had no feelings about the dissolution of our relationship. Jo wanted me to know, though. She thought it meant something. She thought there was still possibility.

She just didn’t get it.

‘Oi, movie’s over,’ a belligerent voice said.

I glanced up at the young cinema worker. ‘Yeah, so?’

‘So … you have to leave now,’ he replied irritably.

Slowly I got up. ‘You just love your job, don’t you?’

His look would have quelled Death. I grabbed my bag and got out of there.

I pushed my hair back off my face as I entered the lobby of the Cineworld. I’d come to the Omni Centre at the top of Leith Walk on a Friday night because sitting home, remembering how many Friday nights I spent watching movies with Nate, was not a good way to get over him.

‘Liv!’

I glanced back over my shoulder before I hit the stairs and saw Cole standing at the concession stand with a group of friends. Being so tall, he was easy to spot. He smiled at me, murmured something to a friend, and strolled over. I had to tilt my head back to look up into his face. ‘Hey.’ I smiled at him. ‘You okay?’

He shrugged. ‘Just going to see a film with some friends.’ His eyes searched my face. ‘You okay?’

‘I’m fine. Just heading home.’