Beauty from Pain (Beauty, #1)(87)

When it’s over, I fall back against the pillow to catch my breath and feel the tiny post-orgasmic quivers again. He scales my body and kisses his way up until he hovers above me. I feel the roughness of his jeans against my skin and remember he’s still dressed from the waist down.

I reach for the button on his jeans and give it a jerk before I slide his zipper down. I put my hand inside his boxer briefs to stroke him. “I want you inside me.”

“No more than I want to be inside you.” He rolls off the bed and my eyes never leave his glorious body. I watch as he kicks off his shoes and pushes his jeans and boxer briefs down at the same time, causing his erection to spring free.

He bypasses his usual stop at the nightstand drawer and crawls back onto the bed. He lowers his body between my legs and stares into my eyes. Everything between us is different. Our eyes share a silent conversation our mouths don’t dare interrupt. I understand what he’s asking without words. He wants to be closer. Skin on skin, nothing between us.

I tell myself it isn’t irresponsible to forgo a condom because it’s what we both want. We’re both clean and the risk of getting pregnant is almost zilch since I’m on reliable birth control.

He swallows hard as he gently presses himself against my slick opening and waits for my answer. It’s his way of asking before he enters my body, and I give him permission by pushing my hips against him. He slides inside my slickness and squeezes his eyes shut as he hisses, “Laurelyn, you feel incredible.”

I tighten my walls around him as he moves in and out with methodical slowness. I savor the full sensation of Jack Henry inside me unsheathed for the first time. I watch his beautiful face dancing over me and I’ve never felt closer to anyone in my life. Ever.

He is gentle with me, as if I’m a virgin. The affection I have for him is overwhelming, and hot tears roll down the sides of my face as I own the feelings I have for this man. I love Jack Henry McLachlan.

We’re heart to heart and he fades into me until I don’t know where I end and he begins.

“I’m getting close and I want to come inside you.” He keeps moving as he talks and I wrap my legs around his waist, my head spinning with the ecstasy of his words. I forget who he is, who I am, and what we are to each other.

I want him to mark me, to make me his. I lock my legs around him and squeeze. He couldn’t free himself from my tight hold if he tried. “I want you to.”

He pushes harder inside me. I can’t see his face because it’s buried against my neck, but he’s close. I know he is about to fill me with a part of him.

It’s in this moment I know without a doubt that Blake is my past. Jack Henry is my present, and as much as that pleases me, I want him as my future. The feelings and emotions he stirs inside me make it impossible to contain the way I feel about him. I lock my arms around him and squeeze my legs tighter as he groans and spasms inside me.

“I love you, Jack Henry,” I whisper against his ear as he empties himself into me.

I love Jack Henry McLachlan. And now I’ve told him. And I regret saying it the moment the words leave my mouth. Words of love aren’t what he wants to hear from me. He doesn’t feel the same. This isn’t what he signed up for, and I’ve probably just ruined the little bit of time I have left with him.

I am a foolish, foolish woman.

His face is still buried against my neck so I can’t see his reaction. And I don’t want to. I feel him breathing heavily against my hair. I think he’s contemplating his next move, so I give him the easy out I owe him.

“Let me up.” I push him off me without meeting his eyes and dart into the bathroom so he can dress and leave without feeling obligated to talk about what I said.

I wonder if he’ll ask me to leave when he comes home from work. My back is against the door, my tear-streaked face in my hands. Maybe I should save him the trouble and just leave on my own.





44

Jack McLachlan

I lie on my back and look at the ceiling. Well, f*ck me running. Laurelyn loves me. I wasn’t expecting to hear that. I’m not really sure how I feel about it.

Our days are winding down and I’ve been thinking a lot about how I’m going to feel when she’s gone. I admit I’m confused by the emotions I have. I’ve never grown attached to any of my companions in the past, but I’ve known from the beginning that everything about Laurelyn is different. She means something to me—more than any of the others ever did—but does it equal love? I have no idea.

A part of me wants Laurelyn to leave so I can go back to my life before her, but then there’s another part that wants to beg her to stay forever. As hard as I try, I can’t decide which is stronger.

I feel a terrible ache in my chest when I think of her leaving. Is that what love feels like? I hadn’t thought so, but then I hear her say she loves me and I feel more confused than ever.

I sit up on the edge of the bed and ponder what to say when she comes out of the bathroom. Several minutes pass and I realize she has no intention of coming out while I’m still here.

I knock on the door. “Laurelyn, will you come out so we can talk?”

“I really don’t want to. Please, don’t make me.” She sounds nasally, so I know she’s crying. It’s almost more than I can stand because I want to be the one to wipe away her tears, not the one to cause them.