Barbarian Mine (Ice Planet Barbarians #4)(38)

I have no answer. Now that I know there is a healer, I wonder this myself.

After a time, he speaks again. “You…were alone out here?”

I grunt agreement. Alone for a very, very long time. The thought leaves me aching with more vague resentment, and worry when I think about my mate. I would die if she were to leave me. “When I found Har-loh, I had forgotten many things. She has taught me words again. How to work leather. How to do many things.”

He nods slowly. “The humans are clever. They are soft and fragile, but their minds…” he taps the side of his head, on a scar. “They are like knives. My Leezh can cut with her tongue.” But he grins, as if pleased by the thought.

Har-loh has told me the story of how her people got here. I don’t know if I believe all of it. It sounds too incredible to be true, but judging by this man’s reaction, the humans are new and different to the bad ones, too.

Raahosh stares at our father’s rocky grave for a moment longer, then glances over at me. “It is…good to have family again.”

Are we family? To me, he is still a stranger. Har-loh is the only one I care for. But Raahosh’s oddly familiar presence makes me feel…less alone. So that is something.





Chapter Eight




HARLOW



I feel like crying as we leave our beach cave behind. I’ve been so happy there for the last year, and it feels like home—more so than the tribal caves we’re journeying back to. I feel responsible that we’re having to make this decision, like my body’s betrayal is somehow a choice I made.

If I’m totally honest with myself, a small, worried little part of me wonders if my brain tumor is back. If my khui can’t take the stress of holding it at bay and it’s returning, and that’s why I’ve been so sick. I don’t tell Rukh this, or Liz and Raahosh. It might be nothing, and Rukh would just worry endlessly. My exhaustion and weakness might just be baby related.

But I still worry.

The travel is difficult. Rukh won’t let me carry my pack, insisting that it weighs nothing to him. He simply shoulders it and adds it to his own substantial gear. Me? I can barely lift my feet to put on my snowshoes. The thought of walking for three days seems an impossible trial, made even more difficult by Liz’s boundless energy. She’s been pregnant for longer than me, but she keeps up with the men and even paces ahead at times to investigate tracks (something that makes Raahosh crazy and overprotective). Rukh grips my hand, and with him at my side, I feel less overwhelmed.

Still, it isn’t long before my back is sending shooting pains through me, my belly aches, and I can’t walk any longer. Judging from the placement of the twin suns in the milky sky, it’s not even noon yet.

I’ve got to do three days of this. Tears of frustration start to course down my cheeks and I want to plant my feet on the ground and tell them to go on without me. The trail ahead is uneven and hilly, and it’ll only get worse because we’re going into the mountains instead of leaving them behind.

My steps falter in the snow, and Rukh is immediately there, cupping my elbows. “Are you well?”

“Just tired,” I admit. “Can we take a break?”

Liz and Raahosh are ahead of us, and I don’t miss the looks they exchange. I don’t care. I can’t move another step without taking a break. My back feels like one big mass of sore muscles.

“I have better idea,” Rukh says. He tosses our packs off his shoulders and onto the ground. Then, he swings me into his arms and cradles me against his chest. The pressure on my back immediately eases as he snuggles me down against him.

“You – you can’t carry me the entire way,” I protest. He’s strong, but I’m a solid girl and I’m carrying a baby. There’s no way.

“Can I not? You are my mate,” he says in a low voice. “I would do anything for you.”

Raahosh moves to Rukh’s side and swings our packs onto his back. Rukh adjusts me in his arms, and then we continue. I wrap my arms around Rukh’s neck, worried he might lose focus and drop me. But as he steps resolutely through the snow, I relax.

And then I fade into a nap, too tired to stay awake.



? ? ?





The next few days are a blur. My back and stomach feel like raw agony, and I’m so tired and miserable that I don’t want to eat. It seems like every time I turn around, someone is forcing another bit of dried meat into my mouth, until I’m gagging on the taste. I can tell Liz and Rukh both are worried about me, but I’m doing the best I can.

Rukh carries me the rest of the first day, and then all of the second day. By the third, I’m sure his arms must be cramping as he carries me in front of him, but he cradles me as gently as ever against his chest. I doze, feeling feverish. The pain in my side is a constant ache, and the baby kicks and pushes against my organs as if trying to rearrange them. One of us is full of energy, at least.

At some point, I fall asleep again, and when I wake up, the world is quiet. So quiet. Soft, warm fingers caress my brow, and another hand is holding mine tightly. It’s dark, and I blink because there’s no wind on my face. Where are we?

“Be calm,” says a woman’s soft voice. “I am going to speak to your khui.”

Dazed, I realize we’ve somehow made it back to the tribal caves. It is Maylak the healer speaking, her fingers tracing my brow. How long have I been unconscious? I look around and Rukh is there beside me, his hand gripping mine tightly.