Barbarian Lover (Ice Planet Barbarians #3)(33)

His low growl of pleasure surprises me. “Anywhere you touch me is a pleasure. Just like it is for me when I touch you. And right now, I intend on taking my pleasure from my mate.”

Aehako’s passionate words are like a slap of cold water in the face.

His mate.

Oh no. I need to tell him. “Aehako,” I say softly, and turn around to face him.

“No, Kira.” He leans in and nips at my mouth to silence me. “I will hear no protests. You will be my mate. We need no khui to bind us. You are mine and I am yours. Our khuis will simply catch up later. It has happened in many a mating. You choose, and then eventually the khui chooses.”

I shake my head. “It won’t ever choose me, Aehako.”

“You do not know that—“

“I do,” I say, and before I can even think about keeping the words in, I spit them out. “I’m barren.”





PART FIVE




AEHAKO


It takes me a moment to digest the word ‘barren’. The mental visual the translation gives me is that of scorched, fallow earth with no animals and no plants, no water, no anything.

Then I realize what she is telling me. “You cannot have kits?”

Tears pool in her sad eyes and she nods. “When I was very young, I got sick and nearly died. I was in the hospital for a long time and when I finally healed, they told me that my reproductive system had been compromised by the illness and I’d never have children.” The tears spill down her cheeks and she swipes at them with quick, angry motions. “That’s why we can’t be together. Because you want to have a family. And I have to tell you that if you choose me, you’ll never have one. I won’t ever resonate, because I can’t have children.”

I feel a sharp pang of regret, but it’s quickly banished. Is this why she’s so sad? Is this why she holds me at arm’s length when it’s clear she is desperate to be loved? That she craves affection the way I crave her smiles?

I touch her chin and force her to look up at me. There’s such misery and heartbreak in her eyes. She truly thinks I shall cast her aside now that I find she cannot create life in her belly? “Is there anything else?”

A half-sob turns into a laugh and she swipes at her tears again. “I think that’s plenty, don’t you?”

“What if I told you it did not matter to me if you could have kits or not?”

Her small brows furrow. “But you said you wanted a family. I wouldn’t deprive you of that.”

“Do not worry on my behalf, Sad Eyes. There are no children without resonance, and now I do not have to worry about another male snatching you out of my grasp.” I stroke her cheek gently. “A few moons ago, I had resigned myself to a lonely life of hunting and the only companionship that of my hand.” My crude words make a small, horrified laugh erupt from her, and I continue. “Now, I have met you and I see a life ahead of me of laughter, and caresses, and loving. Does it matter to me that we will never resonate? It does not. Just to have you in my life is enough for me. You are my heart, Kira, and you should be my mate.”

She starts to cry again. “I don’t want you to feel trapped with me.”

“Trapped?” I laugh. “Trapped with a beautiful, strong, smart mate in my furs every night? I welcome such traps.”

“But children—“

“If we have no kits, then we shall always have our cave to ourselves,” I tell her, pulling her against me. Her wet skin sticks to mine and creates a delicious friction between us. I can feel the small nubs of her nipples rub against my stomach and it makes my cock jerk, desperate to be inside her. “And we shall scandalize all of the others by being the loudest mated pair in the caves.”

A horrified little giggle escapes her, and I’m so relieved that I’ve made her smile that I squeeze her tight against me.

“If you’re sure…” she says softly.

“I was sure the moment I saw your face.”

She pulls back, surprised. “You were?”

I nod. “I saw you and thought, if ever there was a female that needed a male to make her smile, it was you. And that we would be perfect together.”

Kira bats at my chest in mock annoyance, but I can tell she’s pleased by my words. She’s softening against me, and the tears are drying. “I just…I never said anything. Your people were so excited about the fact that we could resonate and have children. I never wanted to admit that I was flawed. I didn’t know what would happen if I was. Would I be welcome any longer?”

“Of course you would be welcome. We would not cast you out simply because you cannot bear kits. Do we cast out Farli?”

She snorts. “Farli is too young to have children. That’s not even a fair comparison.”

“Then Asha? Whose kit died too young? Or my mother, Sevvah, who is now too old to have more kits?” I touch her cheek. “You bring more to the tribe than just your body.”

“I’m not so sure,” she says softly. “The only thing I was good at was translating, and I just had that removed.”

“Then you will bring new skills and joy to the tribe. We just have not seen them yet.”

Kira gives me an exasperated look. “Do you have an optimistic answer for everything?”