Barbarian Lover (Ice Planet Barbarians #3)(27)

I swallow hard. I don’t like the looks of this, but I’ve never been a fan of the doctor’s office. “Do you have something that can remove foreign objects, computer?”

“There is a self-assisted surgery compartment,” the computer intones. “I shall activate it.”

Self-assisted surgery? Not high on the list of things I want to have done. I’m even more alarmed when one of the walls opens up and spits out a long bed. Monitors flicker and dance with messages.

“Please enter the surgical compartment.”

I swallow hard and walk slowly toward the bed. I can do this. It’s just like getting a CAT scan back home, right? No big deal. I’m sure these people have – or rather, had – some sort of anesthesia or pain numbing sort of thing. Even if they don’t, it still has to come out.

I still have nightmares of when the aliens implanted the thing in my head. Of being held down and strapped down to a table, their voices chirping around me. Of the cool metal object placed against my ear…and then things burrowing into my brain, sending blinding pain through my body. I’d had a migraine for a week after it was implanted.

I can’t imagine what the extraction is going to be like.

Mouth dry, I sit gingerly on the edge of the bed.

“Please lay flat upon the indicated pallet.” The computer’s voice is changing, turning into a gentle, soothing counterpart. Bedside manner, perhaps. Whatever it is, I relax a little and start to lie down.

Aehako immediately appears at my side and grips my hand in his. “Kira.”

“What is it?”

He looks at the walls, full of monitors and flashing lights and computerized technology that I can’t comprehend. He looks…more than a little alarmed. This must be terrifying for him. His hand squeezes mine. “You do not have to have this thing removed. I will protect you from the aliens with my life.”

I give him a wan smile. “Aehako, they have laser guns and technology that both you and I can’t even comprehend. Spears and slings won’t do much against them. If they want to take me, there’s nothing I can do to stop them. I’m trying to get rid of this thing because I want to hide, not because I think you can’t protect me.”

His broad face studies me, and I can see the worry etched in his ridged brow and the set of his jaw. He doesn’t like this, not one bit. It’s startling to see in one as easygoing as Aehako.

“You can let go of my hand now,” I tease, trying to keep my voice light.

“Kira,” he says, and his voice is low and husky. Instead of moving away, he leans in. He clasps my hand tighter in his and presses it against his breast. “Be my mate.”

I stare up at his big body in shock. Was that…the alien version of a marriage proposal? “Your mate? But I thought we had to resonate—“

He shakes his head, big horns cutting through the air. My hand is pressed against his thudding heart, the tough, platy ridges covering it. “We will not be resonance mates. Just mates.”

“What’s the difference?”

He stares at me, so intent and serious. His other hand reaches out and brushes lightly along my jaw in a tender caress. “We choose to be mated to each other until we are separated.”

“Separated?”

“By death or by khui.”

I can’t decide if this is romantic or heartbreaking. “But if you resonate for someone—“

“I will not.”

“But how do you know?”

“I don’t. All I know is that you are my mate, and I will not listen to anyone or anything – even my khui – that says otherwise.”

Yeah, and I’m sure his newly resonated mate would just love that.

He’s looking at me, waiting for an answer, though. And I’m…torn. Not because I don’t want to be his mate. The thought sends happiness shooting through me. Aehako and I have flirted for weeks now, and he’s shown himself to be caring and funny and kind and just all around wonderful. If I could pick a guy for my mate here on this frozen ice ball of a planet? It’d absolutely be him.

But I’m barren. I can’t have kids.

We’d just be mates until his khui decides that it’s time for him to add to the gene pool. Then he’ll mate with Harlow, or Claire, or one of the other unmated humans, and I’ll be left all alone. Again.

And I don’t know if I can take the abandonment. I’m not strong like Liz or Georgie. I’m weak and wimpy and the thought of being put aside for a new mate hurts fiercely. And I’ve seen Aehako around the others. He comes from a good-sized family. He loves his mom and dad, and his younger siblings. I’d be robbing him of everything but my company if I agreed to be his mate. I can’t have children. I’ll never resonate for him. If he pins his hopes on me someday resonating for him? He’s in for a rude awakening.

It’s something he deserves to know before I make up my mind.

I should tell him. I look up at his big, broad face.

The words that come out are, “Do you want children?”

Aehako blinks in surprise. I can tell the question wasn’t one he expected. But it’s worth asking. If he doesn’t want children, I’ll feel better as his ‘mate’. Maybe because at that point, I’ll know that I’ll still have a place in his heart even if his khui kicks in and decides he should be a daddy. But his words shatter that hope. “Of course I want children.” A slow smile curves his mouth. “What man doesn’t dream of a family of his own?”